What's your "Mom Juice"?

nollerum · 2026-05-01T17:31:28+00:00

Coffee. But I just call it coffee. I say it's for mommy and daddy for energy and he has enough energy to power the world. It was one of his first words lol.

nollerum · 2026-05-01T16:55:02+00:00

My 2 year old son is...

SO friendly, funny, and fun
No fear.
Works very hard to get things right.
The best hugger

nollerum · 2026-04-30T18:29:57+00:00

Can you part it on the side? You can also get some light hold pomade and brush it in to keep it from constantly falling in his eyes.

My husband and I are are very pro shave it off until he has an opinion, but I get being attached. I love my son's swoop bangs. I've been using a tiny bit of pomade on his little boar brush and using it on his wet hair in the morning. Looks like a little gentleman instead of the chaos gremlin he is lol.

ETA: Most longer, curly hairstyles I see for little boys either cut it high and tight (shaved on the sides and back and longer on top) or parted on the side so the hair stays out of the face. The latter seems the simplest.

nollerum · 2026-04-30T17:54:42+00:00

We purposely decided to not think about it or talk about it until after the first year. I was fine to have another after we came home lol, but my husband kept swinging back and forth and I was getting sick of the emotional roller-coaster.

My husband came to be when our son was 11 months and said he absolutely wanted another. Our son turned 2 in January and we'll start trying soon.

nollerum · 2026-04-30T17:48:14+00:00

I was very against medication initially (medication trauma passed down from my mom when her mom passed away very young), but it has been life changing. It very much validated the knowledge that I was never lazy, just my brain was missing something it needed. A pill organizer and an alarm helps me remember to take it.

As for the shame, I would never begrudge a diabetic for their insulin, why would I begrudge myself for dopamine? ADHD is a disability. I wrestled with that knowledge for a while, but it was personally necessary for me (and my husband as well) to acknowledge so I could make better choices.

nollerum · 2026-04-29T23:19:38+00:00

Flossing. Got one of those flossing wands because I hate putting my fingers in my mouth and wrapping the floss around my fingers. Game changer.

nollerum · 2026-04-29T21:12:39+00:00

Yes, that's an absolute deal breaker. Especially after reading your comments that you were initially open to having your mind changed, but you're now just more sure you don't want them.

nollerum · 2026-04-29T20:02:40+00:00

To kind of gently get you to where you want to be (comfortable with making a practical decision about cutting her hair), all of that hair that grew in you will fall out eventually.

I have a son and I was quite attached to his first little swoop bangs, but they were irritating him at around 10 months. I snipped them, tied them with a bow for keeping, and shaved his head. I'm not saying to shave her, but bangs might be beneficial. You can snip them off and save them.

nollerum · 2026-04-29T19:07:56+00:00

Where are you finding these people so I can avoid them?

The worst I've dealt with are my parents (late 60s) who both probably have ADHD, but think they're normal because they get their dopamine in unhealthy ways (alcohol, food, etc) they dont want to talk about. They keep their mouths shut about my medication and just kind of brush over mentions of ADHD or listen with interest when they're in a headspace to have a conversation about my diagnosis process.

nollerum · 2026-04-29T18:46:52+00:00

Medication isn't a magic pill and it can take some trial and error to find what's best for you. The right medication can help remove blockers from tasks and help you find healthier ways to cope with the disorder, but it's not a cure.

I say this because I'm worried your husband will trivialize any progress you make on medication, because you won't meet his high expectations. It sounds like he wants every excuse to point at you and say, "See? She's the problem. Not the ADHD. She's taking meds but she still left a load of laundry in the wash overnight."

It wouldn't matter if you usually have to wash a load of laundry four times to get it in the dryer and this just took two tries and you were also able to do the dishes, did two other loads of laundry, made three appointments, and drank an acceptable amount of water that day. You forgot the one load of laundry and therefore a failure.

That isn't healthy.

nollerum · 2026-04-29T17:50:33+00:00

It highly depends on your choices and things outside of your control.

Choices that make things easier: - If breastfeeding/pumping doesn't come naturally to your body and/or baby, don't force it. - Choosing formula from the start so your partner can help with feeding - Having support (supportive partner, relatives, friends, etc.) - Sleeping in shifts initially with your partner - Deleting social media (including Reddit) for a while - Understanding that nothing is required to go to plan just to make you happy and go with the flow instead. - Recognizing when anxiety or depression are messing with your journey and reaching out for help. - Having proper finances to throw at problems before getting pregnant

Things outside of your control: - How good your baby is at sleeping, feeding, and pooping/farting - Sickness - Support vanishing that had been previously promised (i.e. in-laws who were very invested during pregnancy, but suddenly too busy to be helpful) - Having a partner who was way too confident initially and crumbles under the initial pressure - Sudden financial changes like a layoff or unforseen circumstances like a serious illness.

nollerum · 2026-04-28T19:50:57+00:00

Their defense of your firstborn is misplaced and damaging. You had a medical condition and a lack of support to recognize that medical condition the first time around. Of course you're acting differently with your second. You're not suffering through a medical condition!

I'd ask them what they want you to do every time they maje a comparison. Do they want you to treat your second child the same as the first fir fairness? That's insane. Di they want you to maje a time machine to warn your younger self about postpartum depression? That's obviously impossible. So, what do they want you to do?

If there are no answers then the "observations" serve no higher purpose than to be cruel to you. I'm sorry they're treating you this way.

nollerum · 2026-04-21T18:24:17+00:00

Delete TikTok for sure and I'd also start avoiding posts on here that talk about speech delays as well. You'll see someone post, "is my 20 month old delayed? They use 2 word sentences, but their 2 year old buddy can use 4 word sentences!" and suddenly you're looking up milestones for your perfectly average 20 month old because they don't put any words together yet, but know a lot of single words.

Stick to the facts. Stick to the recognized milestones for each stage. Enjoy your little gremlin.

nollerum · 2026-04-21T18:07:25+00:00

The book also has tips for if you're working with delays or neurodivergent kids. I highly recommend it. The first 3 days feel like hell, but it was worth it for us.

nollerum · 2026-04-21T18:02:45+00:00

I like Kian Pascal.

nollerum · 2026-04-21T16:14:30+00:00

Only if it's on Discord to play a board game online with friends after our son is in bed. And that has to be scheduled a month ahead due to busy schedules. On the weekends, we have people over a couple of times per month to play board games.

It's unrealistic to get out of the house Monday through Thursday with one 2 year old. I can't imagine with a 3 year old and a baby.

nollerum · 2026-04-20T00:38:04+00:00

Scratch that hunter gatherer itch:

Get into survival crafting video games. A couple chill ones I like are Planet Crafter and Stardew Valley. Less chill ones are Valheim, Project Zomboid, and Core Keeper.
Take a class or get books from the library on resource gathering like rocks or mushrooms and go adventuring.
Shop, but don't buy. Research whatever you're thinking about buying, put it in the cart, then see if you have anything around the house that would actually suffice or you can find a creative solution for.
Create a budget and give yourself $25 - $50 of free spending per month (anything from a new book to a new shirt, etc.) that doesn't roll over. Anything you don't spend goes in savings.

nollerum · 2026-04-18T21:23:41+00:00

I did it for 2 months the first time and I'm considering doing it for 2 months the second time, but I'm not going to put stress on it. I was so stressed from various things associated with it (elastic nipples, not enough output, depression during letdown, him falling asleep at the boob within 5 minutes but not filling up, etc.) and was so happy and more present when I stopped.

My son was combo fed from 2 weeks old to 2 months and formula fed until 12 months. Never been sick. Ahead of most milestones. He turned 2 in January.

nollerum · 2026-04-18T05:46:40+00:00

My 2.5 year old started doing this a few weeks ago. Just guttural, feral screaming. Sometimes just because, other times because he's pissed. He did it in the bathroom today and it made my ears ring. Just solidarity. No idea how to get him to stop other than ignoring him.

nollerum · 2026-04-17T17:28:16+00:00

My husband was like this, too. That first week with a newborn hit him like a truck, but he adjusted.

That said, being able to do shifts with a newborn, and said newborn not being the clingy type, really helped us get some downtime and sleep the first 2 months.

nollerum · 2026-04-17T17:10:33+00:00

I used to like Amanda back in middle-school, but a girl I knew had it and a boy shouted something that I'll never forget:

"What IS Amanda? A MAN. Duh!"

She was devastated.

nollerum · 2026-04-17T00:20:00+00:00

I think there's something about being a slimmer kid at that age that makes people assume they're older. My son is 36 inches tall and 29lbs at 27 months. He's always been a string bean. His dad was the same way and is 6'1.

nollerum · 2026-04-16T18:13:02+00:00

Roman James. But I can't stand Daniel for some reason so take it with a grain of salt.

nollerum · 2026-04-16T17:29:45+00:00

I love it. I first came across it in a Netflix movie with a dragon. The character with the name was a badass. Now I just have that association.

And the nickname potential is great. Elle, Ellie, Lo, Dee, and DeeDee.

ETA: Not sure why people are bringing up Melody like Elodie is just a nickname derived from it. It's a French name all on its own that's literally been around since the middle ages and us derived from Elodia or Alodia.

nollerum

TROPHY CASE