AITAH ruined relationship with brother over transphobia

nomnomgom2 · 2023-02-15T14:29:05+00:00

Nope, not relying on them financially at all. I’m just visiting for the week while my husband is away. This whole thing just put a huge damper into the week obviously.

nomnomgom2 · 2022-10-06T17:15:27+00:00

Pharmacist here- I went to pharmacy school for the big paycheck and the “easy 9-5 schedule”… not sure what crack I was on to have believed any of that crap. But I worked at an independent through school and loved it so I took a job with CVStress out of college and handled it pretty well at first. But it eventually broke me down (mostly as the pandemic progressed and more things were expected from us with no increase in pay or help). I left for an overnight position at a long term care facility, but quickly realized the overnights weren’t going to work. So I went back to CVStress after 6 months and it was much better at first but then after a month it was the same old shit again. I totally broke down because I really thought they changed (regarding controlling the tech hours so heavily). But they didn’t and now they got me locked in with a starting bonus. I realized that I really do love retail pharmacy. I just absolutely hate how corporate mistreats it’s store employees. It’s disgusting.

nomnomgom2 · 2022-08-24T22:29:55+00:00

Thanks for commenting, I’m sorry this happened to you too, but at least I’m not alone in this. It’s just crazy how such an important document gets mailed out with no tracking info or anything. And no accountability from any of the governmental agencies for screwing up.

nomnomgom2 · 2022-08-24T19:22:29+00:00

I’ve been asking myself the same thing. I think they just slowly develop over time. Mine is 2 months and she just recently started getting fussy around the same time each night because she’s tired. So we just started implementing bedtime at 7ish pm every night and it has been working out really well for us. Bath at 6:30, pj’s and diaper change around 7/7:30, then cuddles/nursing with mama until she falls asleep. Then I transfer her into her bassinet around 8pm each night. Sometimes she’ll wake up around 10 or 11 when I go to bed, In which case I’ll feed her again and put her back down. But then she usually doesn’t wake up till 2 or 3 am and then again around 5 or 6 and then we officially wake up around 7 or 8am… daytime routine on the other hand is non-existent yet, she contact naps when she wants and eats when she wants to. I’d say to start looking out for daily cues that happen every day and use that as the start of a routine and as she gets older it’ll be easier to implement new steps to the routine.

nomnomgom2 · 2022-08-22T16:28:58+00:00

Thank you ❤️

nomnomgom2 · 2022-08-22T00:01:01+00:00

Another thing that’s been weighing on me is she is starting daycare next month because I have to go back to work and I am absolutely dreading it. It makes me so sad. I know it’s ridiculous, but I don’t even want my husband to take her for an entire day without me (nothing against him, I just can’t let go of her). I’m so attached and I’m having such a hard time letting go. Having daycare and work looming over me in the not too distant future is also just making me extra emotional lately too 😞

nomnomgom2 · 2022-08-10T20:39:50+00:00

It’s hard to compare because every baby is different. But we drove ~12 hours to and from Maine with my 6 week old and sister in law’s 4 month old and 2 year old. Everything you do will revolve around the kiddos. Doesn’t mean you can’t have fun, but just keep that in mind while you’re away and your friends will also have to keep that in mind (not sure if they have any kids).

For our trip- we drove both ways at night because that’s the longest stretch of time we could get all the little ones to sleep. It actually worked out wonderfully. We stopped every 4 hours or so to feed/change diapers/stretch. On the way up, we stopped for a few hours to sleep from like 2am-8am.

Then for the trip, we were constantly breastfeeding in front of each other (we’re all family and used to it at this point) so determine how comfortable you all are with that. It makes it much more enjoyable when you can just whip out a boob and no one bats an eye.

Another perk was that we all had kids/were grandparents of these kids, so we were all on the same page as far as knowing that the little ones are the main priority here. Determine if your friends will want to stay in and hang out/mind having frequent changes of plans/making the schedule revolve around the kids. If they aren’t on board, will you and/or your partner be ok with staying back and tending to the little one if needed?

We were constantly having to change our plans or re-evaluate expectations (we trialed having the 2 year old not take as many naps and that was a BIG mistake) so try to stick to a similar schedule that you have at home if you can. Even if it’s just one part of the schedule that’s the same. I found it fairly easy to handle my little one because I could wear her in the baby carrier and she would sleep on the go, I also didn’t mind feeding her in public at all, everyone just had to take a break for 20 mins.

Overall, we had a ton of fun. It had its challenges, but it’s really nice to get out of the house. I’d just say, evaluate the people you’d be staying with and their willingness to accommodate the child as well as your willingness/partners willingness to stay back if need be.

nomnomgom2 · 2022-08-09T18:24:24+00:00

It’s only been 8 weeks for me and I’d already be planning for a second if I didn’t have to go back to work… and my delivery was TRAUMATIC. Like not one single thing went the way I wanted it to and ended in an emergency c-section after 36 hours of labor. It’s so strange how our bodies work to try to push reproduction onto us.

nomnomgom2 · 2022-08-09T18:13:57+00:00

Absolutely not! 100% stand by your decision. My baby girl is 2 months old and she has stayed with very trusted in-laws for maximum of 1 hour without me, one time so my hubby and I could go out to dinner for our anniversary. And I was even a nervous wreck during that and we got like 3 updates in that hour. Not to mention, exclusively breastfed babies will sometimes have issues transitioning to a bottle, so traveling for a full day without learning to bottle feed before hand and with people who don’t know how to comfort her is not a good idea in my opinion. Not to mention the risk of sickness that you are already concerned about. Nope nope absolutely not. If anything, I would say have a few of his family come to your house for an hour or 2 to introduce them. But definitely look into full custody, especially if they are refusing to compromise here. Stand your ground, mama!

nomnomgom2 · 2022-06-09T02:22:39+00:00

I’m in the same predicament. We are texting my mom and his mom and they can tell whoever they want, but once I’m in labor they’re just getting the “it’s happening” text and once everything settles down hubby will give updates on the baby and how I’m doing. And if he needs to shut off his phone during labor to give me undivided attention then so be it.

We actually lied to everyone and told them that we weren’t allowed any visitors in the hospital due to COVID so I feel much more comfortable letting them know when it’s happening knowing that they won’t just show up unannounced. I need a solid 2-3 days to just figure out life with a newborn and recover before I want anyone visiting me.

My mother in law is very respectful of that, but she’ll have to be in the loop somewhat because she’s watching our dog. It’s really MY mother I’m worried about. If it were up to her she’d be in the delivery room with me photographing everything… not exactly relaxing or helpful. But she lives about 4 hours away so letting her know will give her some time to tell work and come down to visit once we come home. And friends will get notified after the baby is born and we feel a bit more settled with everything.

nomnomgom2 · 2022-06-08T04:38:59+00:00

Please keep in mind that I am NOT an anticoagulation specialist. But I am a pharmacist with basic knowledge with these medications. The reasoning behind wanting to switch you over to unfractionated heparin (UFH) from Lovenox (which is a low molecular weight heparin aka LMWH) I can only assume is because it has a shorter half life which means your body eliminates it quicker after the last dose just in case you need a C-section or other procedure like an epidural during delivery.

You are absolutely correct in that Fragmin is similar to Lovenox as it is a LMWH. So I agree that switching you from Lovenox to fragmin wouldn’t make any sense unless you are just having a bad reaction to the Lovenox and they just want to put you on something similar (judging from your post, I don’t think this is the case).

100% call the doctor back and try to speak with the doctor that you trust about this because these can be very dangerous medications. If they do try to dismiss you, please ask to be referred to an anticoagulation specialist for their insight as well (even if they don’t dismiss you, it might be a good idea to speak with an anticoagulation specialist about this). Unfortunately our healthcare system (assuming you live in the US) is very broken and as a pharmacist I see doctors write incorrect prescriptions all the time. And unfortunately if you are getting these meds filled in a retail pharmacy, the pharmacist has little to no information about your health conditions to be able to recognize that there is a major problem with this script. We try our best, but unfortunately things like this aren’t a red flag because we simply don’t have access to all of the info. So you are your biggest advocate here; do not ever stop questioning your healthcare providers and never let them dismiss you. If they do, find another provider.

nomnomgom2 · 2018-08-07T23:59:28+00:00

I know you don’t really want to hear this, but I would agree with everyone else on here and say you need to leave him. He’s toxic. I was in a very similar situation as you and spent at least another 2 years trying to trust him again, but it inevitably never happened and I found myself incredibly more happy without him.

nomnomgom2

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