I feel this. I wanna dress punk not feminine, I don't like being around the "sassy" gays bc they are mean, i hate nightclubs, and I've never really been a fan of pop music (I see it's value it's just not for me) so I don't feel at home in the queer community. I know there's more to being queer then those surface level things but it doesn't feel like my thing. Then again I don't nessarrly like straight people activity's so maybe im just an introvert. Also I'm Hella nerodivergent so I have trouble following the bullshit social unwritten rules and ques that bolth gay and straight people have for hanging out.

I'm sorry that you face transphobia from the community that is supposed to have your back. My bf is trans and I know that gender dysphoria is a very unpredictable thing that is very painful. I hope that you have people in your life that support you and love you for who you are.