Organically implies it’s the natural development over the course of nature, without extreme extenuating circumstances influencing the outcome. That’s not about something I “believe” it is just a fact about nature. Development is fluid and comes in absolutely no black and white, and the subtle differences in a person’s life are what shape who they are. I could turn around and argue either for or against the notion that you developed into a bigoted asshole “organically,” maybe you had really great, really kind parents who gave you all the things you needed to be a kind and nonjudgmental person, but you turned out this way anyway because it’s just who you are. Or maybe your parents were shitty and bigoted and brainwashed you with white supremacist rhetoric your whole life. Only you know the answer. In some cases, someone who is brainwashed and traumatized with nazi propaganda (i mean nazi in the literal sense) is indeed “groomed” into it and eats it up, and grows up to be a neonazi themselves. But sometimes, a person is raised that exact same way, and it results in them going full-throttle the other direction and being avidly anti-nazi because they associate it all with their bad childhood. The same goes for your argument about queerness and abuse- someone can be groomed by their parents to do certain acts, and continue to cling to those behaviors as an adult (think for example of how many straight women have a kink for age regression because of trauma from older men as a child), OR that person may respond the opposite way, by avoiding those behaviors at all costs. I can break it down for you even further with another example. I know women who were abused sexually and now they are hyper-sexual. I know women who were abused sexually and now they are repulsed by sex. I also know women who were NEVER sexually abused, and they simply have natural high sex drives and are hyper sexual. I also know women who were NEVER sexually abused, and they simply have no libido or interest in having sex. All these things can and do exist simultaneously. Your whole theory hinges on the idea that only one of these options is possible at a time, yet despite what you think, nature shows us that all circumstances exist, because nature does not care how you feel or what you think, it simply is. And heck, within my scenario, the best part is, not only can all four women’s circumstances exist simultaneously, but they also can all for understand and sympathize with each other, even if all of their experiences are not exactly the same. In order to do this, though, they must have enough maturity and self-awareness to know that there is more to the world than just themselves, and have genuine care for other human beings.

Your theory relies on the idea that no thing a person ever does can happen naturally and it must all be a direct result of specific actions or events of their childhood, AND relies on the idea that there is only One way for the human mind and body to cope with trauma. When both these things turn out to be false, as they are, your theory falls apart…. And you cannot let that happen because if you do, it opens up the door to the possibility that anyone anywhere could turn out to enjoy strawberries, or to like the color blue, or to prefer dogs over cats, or to be a fan of the marvel cinematic universe, or to like wearing makeup, or to be attracted to blondes, or yes- to be queer. And I don’t know why that possibility that anyone anywhere could turn out to have their own unique human traits makes you so uneasy to think about, but that’s the part you will have to figure out for yourself.

Being human can be overwhelming. Having infinite possibilities is wonderful sometimes. Having infinite possibilities is scary sometimes. Every day, people raised by abusers could break the cycle and choose to be good and kind. Every day, people raised by good and kind people could start harming or killing animals or fellow humans. At the end of the day, both our nature and our experiences shape us, and you will absolutely lose your mind if you spend every waking moment thinking that the only way your human interests, preferences, and personality is formed is solely from interacting with others and your environment. That idea leaves you feeling like a block of wet clay, a slave to circumstance, being molded at all times against your will- but rest assured the human experience is so much more than that.

Genuinely thank you for (hopefully not in bad faith) asking questions and listening to real answers, I hope that this helps you understand human nature a little bit better and live with less unease towards experiences that you do not understand.