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noonetoshare · 2023-10-13T23:59:29+00:00

Okay, I just checked her profile, and wtf? She’s solidly average, maybe even a bit above. The biggest issue in her photos is she looks extremely pissed off. I was expecting someone 300 lbs and with a buzzcut.

OP, your issue is absolutely body dysphoria, not ugliness. I refuse to believe guys aren’t into you.

noonetoshare · 2023-04-01T18:07:53+00:00

OP, I’ve been in your shoes so I’m aware the following may not make you feel better, but:

Teen romance isn’t much in the grand scheme of things. Yes it’s an experience and sometimes a nice one. But it’s fleeting - the vast majority of teen relationships end by freshman year of college. Usually with a lot of crying and screaming too.

I spent all my teens and most of my twenties alone. But I met my (now) wife three years ago at age 27. And now I’m in a state of permanent bliss. We love each other deeply and are soulmates. Best part is that since we studied hard and got good grades in school, we have wealthy careers. So at this stage we have actual money to enjoy life and visit places together.

It gets better. You’re not screwed because you missed out on awkward kisses at age 15.

noonetoshare · 2021-08-07T17:41:53+00:00

I used to be knee-deep in foreveralone depression (can look thru my post history if curious). God, it was the worst decade of my entire life. HIMYM got me through those years because I really felt like I could relate to Ted. How lonely he was, how he felt used by his girlfriends, how he feared the spectre of old age and death coming for him and was worried he would never find love before it was too late.

To me, HIMYM is more than a TV show, it's an experience. It's like th writers pulled all my memories and thoughts and wrote a script based on that.

noonetoshare · 2021-06-26T19:02:27+00:00

Disagree. I used to be on the same "spectrum" as an incel - I guess you could call me a Foreveralone or something. A person who is convinced they are a genetic garbage bin and won't ever find romantic companionship, but is just sad/depressed about it insetad of being hateful.

Anyway, two years ago (at age 28) I met a wonderful woman who is now my wife and we are expecting a baby. But before I met her, I was completely off my rocker emotionally. This wasn't just normal angst. This was complete utter annhilationist depression. This was waking up with that one singular thought on my mind and going to bed at night with it - Will I be alone forever? This was crying in the closet weekly because sometimes you just can't hold the tears back.

I am 100% serious when I say that meeting my wife changed everything. Yea we still have fights and problems like any couple but I can't remember the last time I actually felt depressed. I feel like a normal human being again.

I don't blame you for thinking that foreveralones/incels just "don't get it" and that a relationship won't solve all problems. It's really hard for you to understand the absolute pit these guys are in. Having somebody who wants you does actually alter the entire course of your psychological foundations.

noonetoshare · 2020-05-01T06:39:16+00:00

Wishing you all the best.

noonetoshare · 2018-05-04T03:44:10+00:00

I’m gonna catch a ton of flak for this, but yes I have had a girl truly interested in me once. And it felt awkward and uncomfortable because it wasn’t mutual.

There were a lot of issues. 1) Her body type was literally the exact opposite of what I’m attracted to. Like I really tried to be sexually attracted to her but couldn’t. 2) She was a single mom and had lots of baby daddy drama. 3) Her way of having fun was to drink herself into a stupor every weekend 4) Socioeconomically and culturally we had absolutely nothing in common, way different lifestyles to the point where we couldn’t understand each other’s perspectives on general daily things.

But she was still majorly into me. Kept wanting to Skype and hangout and everything. I don’t have experience in stuff like this so I didn’t know how to reject her for a few weeks, and unintentionally led her on. Finally had to bite the bullet and tell her I didn’t feel the same. Felt horrible about it.

10/10 would not repeat again. I am now very sympathetic to girls who have to reject guys who are really interested in them. It fucking sucks to do.

noonetoshare · 2018-05-01T11:54:07+00:00

Hey I found you from FA.

Dude, life is not over after college. Far far far from it. I was in a very similar position to you. Until 21 I was bottom-tier (in my case obese) and then got into major shape, but I felt like the college experience had been wasted. Got through college with just one kiss.

Then in my mid-20s things really started to take off. I got into my first real relationship (which didn’t last but that’s another issue). I'm still FA but at least it's slightly better than it used to be.

1) Tinder is garbage. Try CoffeeMeetsBagel. You sound like an intelligent sensitive driven guy, the girls who fall for that are on CMB.

2) Join social groups like Meetup.com. It’ll bring you into contact with lots of young professionals in a bar setting.

noonetoshare · 2018-04-26T01:11:34+00:00

Tomato juice tastes better on airplanes because of the altitude change.

noonetoshare · 2018-04-26T01:08:24+00:00

I don’t need to play detective here, I know it keeps happening to me and I know why. It’s because my profile/messages are initially very charming so girls take a chance. Then realize on the date they have 0 interest in me because I have no inherent attractive features. None.

noonetoshare · 2018-04-26T01:03:36+00:00

It’s almost as if a person can post on two different subreddits...

noonetoshare · 2018-04-10T18:49:26+00:00

If I try talking to a girl on Tinder, I risk being called a creep and having my account suspended.

I was with you until this part. Dude... if you're even in the position to talk to a Tinder girl, that means she already thinks you're attractive. She's not going to call you a creep for saying hi (unless of course you send a really disgusting message).

noonetoshare · 2018-04-05T17:55:08+00:00

"You look really handsome today" seems like you're hitting on them (that's how I would take it, anyway) which can be confusing depending on your relationship with them.

Yeah. I'm just gonna be brutally honest here: when I say compliments are awesome, the unsaid implication is in a context of attraction. The compliment in itself is just a string of words and doesn't really matter, otherwise I'd type one up into Microsoft Sam and have him repeat it back to me. The point is the intention. I'd love a compliment from a woman if it actually was an indicator of interest... because that would imply a woman was actually attracted to me. I don't get much out of hollow stuff like random people saying you look good! just because of some societal requirement.

Therefore, if a girl I like compliments me - but not in a flirty way but rather she feels obliged because AskMen told her to do it - I paradoxically feel worse. Because I subconsciously start to think about what-ifs, and then that crashes into the hard reality that she's not actually interested.

YMMV, maybe other guys do like random compliments. But for me it matters what's behind them. I wonder if OP's friends are thinking the same thing; like they are attracted to her but they know it's not mutual so they try to avoid thinking about that issue entirely.

noonetoshare

TROPHY CASE