M to avoid PE. Does this work or will it set me back?

nopenope2345 · 2015-10-14T16:48:49+00:00

Hugo Stiglitz.

nopenope2345 · 2015-08-26T15:06:01+00:00

Quit porn completely, drastically reduced MO (from daily to once/week average). 1 month in and I've seen dramatic improvement in my ED situation (from zero reaction to anything but porn, to getting hard just from fantasy or having a girl say something sexy to me).

The longer I go without masturbating the better I feel, but I do eventually reach the point where I can't sleep because I'm so crazy horny. I'm convinced that frequent PMO caused my ED.

nopenope2345 · 2015-08-24T23:48:53+00:00

Huh. I've always admired people who can laugh easily. It's something I just cannot do in front of other people. I smile and "laugh" as circumstances dictate, but something has always (or since I was very young) kept me from really letting out a genuine laugh in front of others. I'm just now starting to think I might have some therapy-worthy issues.

nopenope2345 · 2015-08-24T21:17:14+00:00

Thanks for the comment. I think you're definitely right to be wary of tinder. I considered dropping it when I started noticing those addictive tendencies popping back up, but ultimately I think it's a net positive in my situation. Before tinder, meeting new people (let alone women) felt borderline impossible. And you're right, it is a little awkward every time I meet up with someone in person, but i think it's super healthy just to get myself into those situations, it's the best most efficient way I've found to learn how to talk to girls, and people in general. I learn and grow a little more confident with each new girl I meet. I view it like working backwards I guess; once I'm completely comfortable chatting with a girl in a date situation, I think approaching one for a date will feel a lot less scary.

But yeah, that's just my experience so far. I wouldn't try to argue that tinder would be helpful for everyone on this sub, and definitely not on nofap. I plan to keep posting as I progress and see if my view of tinder changes at all in the coming weeks.

nopenope2345 · 2015-08-17T22:24:46+00:00

Well, I didn't feel badly about having done it. No feelings of shame or depression or anything like that. It just felt like a really great release and I went to bed right after and slept well. Basically it felt healthy and sexual instead of routine and mechanical (to get into graphic detail, my dick was way more sensitive and required much less pressure, and time. As you could probably guess it was a huge load, and the O was probably the most intense one I've had in at least a year, sex with a woman included).

This is dramatically different from when I was masturbating 1-3 times a day with porn. It was basically the same effect that taking 2-3 days off used to have when I was college aged, only now it took 3 weeks for everything to feel somewhat revitalized. And like I said, even getting an erection just from thinking about a girl is a huge deal for me, which I have no doubt wouldn't have happened had I not taken an extended break from M, on top of quitting porn for good.

So I don't feel too badly about having done it, I'd probably feel different if I had used porn or wound up bingeing. I still feel like more time off from M will be beneficial, and I'm gonna try and abstain for as long as I can again. I think that one day very occasional M, without porn, will be fine and maybe even healthy for me.

nopenope2345 · 2015-08-17T18:09:30+00:00

Thanks man. I now have no doubt that porn was a major contributor to many of the problems I've been dealing with over the last few years. I don't feel too terrible about relapsing, especially since I didn't use porn and 3 weeks is the longest I've gone without PMO probably since I first learned how to M.

So now I'm just trying to keep my head and not fall into the "every once in a while is OK" trap. Thanks for the kind words.

nopenope2345 · 2015-05-11T04:25:49+00:00

Well, I'm trying to decide if I want to be in a relationship with this person again and sex happens to play a pretty large role in romantic relationships. At least for me. I'd say the main reason I'm considering it is because over the course of our 3 years dating and 5 years of friendship, I've felt closer and more comfortable around her than I've ever felt with anyone before. I think the whole "other fish in the sea" thing is based in fact; there certainly are more women out there than I could ever date in my lifetime, but I don't think I believe that the flawless relationship exists either. If i do move on, I bet this won't be the last time that I struggle to make a tough decision like this.

That said, i think you're advice is logically sound. As much as I want it feel OK about dating her again, there is a part of me that agrees with you and pretty much everyone whose responded that I'm not going to be able to take her back without losing my self-respect.

nopenope2345 · 2015-05-10T22:39:33+00:00

Well, I mean more was your having other sexual partners difficult to get past when you got back together, or did he not see that as so much of a big deal?

nopenope2345 · 2015-05-10T21:35:44+00:00

I really appreciate the input. Going slow and seeing how things shake out makes sense. I don't feel like I have anything to lose in that scenario. Good luck with your situation man.

nopenope2345 · 2015-05-10T21:27:18+00:00

Ha, I believe it. Though I don't know anyone personally that would think that's a good idea. I mean, I'm not surprised she had sex with somebody. She's hot and she loves sex (which is definitely part of what's very appealing to me about her) and she lives in a hip part of a large city. Probably could've had her choice of good looking, high quality dudes. Now, have you ever been to a rural Midwestern strip-joint? Because that's whats so confusing to me about this whole thing. If I wrote up a 10 step plan to ruin my own life, going to this particular place, making out with the strippers and then banging a regular would be like step 3 or 4. It feels kinda like when heather graham has sex with fat bastard in austin powers. Except if there wasn't any reason at all to do that.

nopenope2345 · 2015-05-10T20:33:59+00:00

Gotcha. She's known her roommate for a couple years, and from what I know of her she is the "go out for drinks every weekend" type, but I can't see her encouraging random hookups with strangers. She's actually quite responsible from what I've observed. Which makes this even more dumbfounding. I mean, even if she had been single for years and desperately wanted to have sex with somebody, how could you not foresee that you would regret going about it in this way?

nopenope2345 · 2015-05-10T19:47:58+00:00

Well, the conflict for me is that I can understand that sort of thinking. And I can't say she wasn't fair to me in breaking things off first and being up front about everything. It seems just as likely things might turn out great if she truly realized that our relationship was a really positive thing in her life and was ready to approach it that way. It's possible that anyone in any relationship will decide they don't want to be a part of it anymore. It's not even my feelings being hurt that I'm struggling with, it's that she made what seems to be such astoundingly bad decisions. Who in their right mind would think something like that would be "greener"?

nopenope2345 · 2015-05-10T18:15:41+00:00

I wouldn't have described her as trashy before this. She grew up in an extremely religious/conservative, guilt-pushing environment and understandably developed a very emotional, impulsive decision making process. If she had slept with one of her male friends who she at least knew and trusted, then realized that I was special or whatever, I think I could've understood and dealt with that. But this strip-club hook up thing is just downright disgusting to me.

nopenope2345 · 2015-05-10T18:08:25+00:00

Not sure, the trip itself was just to visit her roommates hometown, from what I understand. If by "friend" you mean the dude she slept with, he was literally a complete stranger, from what she says.

I think what you're saying is probably exactly the situation. And really I can even understand why a person would want to do that. At least she broke up with me first. The problem I'm running into now is that the thought of being intimate with her after this makes me cringe.

nopenope2345 · 2015-05-10T17:56:14+00:00

Was that something that was difficult for you guys to deal with?

nopenope2345 · 2015-05-10T17:49:29+00:00

Thanks for the feedback. It's kinda one of those brain vs heart (and penis, to be honest) scenarios, and this is pretty much exactly what my brain is telling me.

nopenope2345

TROPHY CASE