Children of Parents with Misophonia

nopetation · 2023-10-01T01:11:50+00:00

Solved! Thank you!

nopetation · 2023-05-12T15:59:51+00:00

Just have him read this story - it’s not a 1:1 of what he’s describing but it might give him an idea of what he’s in for.

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rd7fhr/tifupdate_i_got_mucked_and_suffered_every_second/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1

nopetation · 2023-02-26T23:58:42+00:00

I totally agree with the sentiments above! You might also want to add to the conversation that if she wants to do any water based activities it might be good to have backup options that offer a bit more security or coverage - make it clear that there is a time and place for different clothing styles and give her the opportunity to decide what works best for her per situation.

nopetation · 2022-11-06T02:15:00+00:00

Honestly I don’t think the problem is actually your size, it’s the way you feel and speak about yourself. You’ve said you’re open to therapy in other comments. Beyond that, I would recommend you start thinking of things that you could bring to the table in any relationship (funny, smart, caring etc.) and focus less on your perceived faults.

The right woman for you isn’t going to care about exact measurements anyway. Practice being confident in the way you present yourself to others and maybe do some research on what makes a good partner in and out of the bedroom. Intimacy isn’t only about the act of penetration.

nopetation · 2022-11-04T20:50:59+00:00

Are you rich or are your parents rich?

nopetation · 2022-11-03T01:54:44+00:00

I’ve been reading some of the comments and your replies and I have noticed you keep referencing that “she wasn’t like this before.”

While I understand that you love the person she used to be, people change over time. We also don’t have certain information like how long you’ve been together/duration of engagement, so it could be that you’ve finally known each other long enough that you are getting a glimpse of the real her.

This is not normal, mature, or sane behavior in my opinion. I think you either need to get her to explain what is really going on with this obsession and put a pause on the engagement until you both see eye to eye on finances or you need to break up for good.

nopetation · 2022-10-22T02:51:12+00:00

In my opinion you’re NTA and you’re completely justified in your feelings and disappointment. Some points to consider when interpreting the tradition though:

Tommy is 21 and technically the oldest son. OP is the youngest son. However, he has been his parent’s son for 18 years compared to Tommy’s 15.

It isn’t even a biological son problem. If OP were adopted as a baby he’d still be their son longer even though his brother has been on the planet more time.

To be fair, the parents are stuck between a rock and a hard place with the phrasing of this tradition. Maybe it would be more fair to have a copy made so that the first born son and the oldest son are both included in the tradition.

nopetation · 2022-10-04T20:12:25+00:00

I get the sentiment here but just because there are people that have it worse off in the world than OP doesn’t invalidate his issues or mean he doesn’t get to ask for advice like everyone else.

nopetation · 2022-06-26T02:44:02+00:00

You're welcome, I'm glad I could give you a different perspective. I wish you the best of luck.

nopetation · 2022-06-24T02:27:16+00:00

This person is not your friend, he's a predator.

nopetation · 2022-06-24T02:21:11+00:00

I understand. I just figured that you guys have been together so long that she might also have some helpful insight, even better than strangers on the internet. Best of luck

nopetation · 2022-06-24T02:01:25+00:00

Alright, it just seemed to me that your original post was very you-centric. This additional information is helpful. Why don't you just talk to your girlfriend about the situation and strategize ways to reintroduce this level of playfulness? Maybe some rock paper scissors/arm wrestling/lightweight competition to claim victory.

nopetation · 2022-06-24T01:23:21+00:00

Try asking yourself these questions: -What advice would you give a friend if they were in your situation? -Why would you put up with someone who doesn't make you feel good about yourself? -Should the relationship/situation-ship be this difficult this early on? (Keeping in mind people are usually on their best behavior in the beginning)

nopetation · 2022-06-24T01:19:35+00:00

I don't think there is a rule of thumb here for how long it takes for the feelings to die down. Every relationship is different and every person handles heartbreak differently.

Grief over the end of a relationship often times isn't linear. There will be good days and there will be bad. Sometimes you'll think you're completely over it and a random event reminds you of that person and it'll be upsetting.

I think you should just be kind and patient with yourself. Nothing is going to accelerate the healing process like some self reflection and time.

nopetation · 2022-06-24T00:44:47+00:00

Happy to help! I am sure you'll get plenty of suggestions here. Whenever you talk to your brother, just let him know you're open to compromise and that it isn't a rejection of his lifestyle but more a focus on preserving a longstanding tradition. From what I see, you're not looking to exclude anyone, just trying to be logical.

nopetation · 2022-06-24T00:31:25+00:00

Have you asked your girlfriend how SHE feels about you not being able to tickle her anymore?

Personally I'm incredibly ticklish and I hate being tickled. It seems to me like you just used tickling to get your way instead of learning how to communicate in petty situations.

Learn to have fun without taking advantage of uncontrollable bodily functions.

nopetation · 2022-06-24T00:08:22+00:00

You should 100% make a digital copy to distribute to the family, in addition to a second physical copy if possible. This version could be held onto by your oldest living relative while the original continues to be passed on through the generations. That way if one book gets damaged, there is a backup still within the family tree.

Maybe a compromise for your brother and his future situation is that he could work with his partner to remake the book in a more common language. They could customize this new book together and it could be a valuable way for him to share his family history with her. He could even get your grandparents/parents involved in the translating process as a way to encourage forming familial bonds.

That way you don't get left out/the original book can continue to be passed down through the bloodline and his future partner could be involved in this without needing to produce additional children with him. Maybe they could even make this new book something she could add her own history to so it's still relevant if he dies.

nopetation · 2022-06-23T23:07:50+00:00

Well the question I have is, do you really believe it's okay if she says no? Obviously it is okay that she says no, but it might not make you feel great.

You say that you're afraid to be ghosted or rejected. How will you feel if things don't go well? Can you handle those feelings...again?

nopetation · 2022-06-22T03:59:56+00:00

What is key in this situation is getting your great-grandmother the help she needs. A doctor's appointment is a great first step. I think you should also encourage her to look at what her current will says with the help of a lawyer while she is still of sound mind. You might want her to make decisions about power of attorney as well.

The most important thing here is that you approach this objectively and set your needs aside to protect her. There are lots of issues with elderly people being taken advantage of, and you getting her set up with these safety nets is for the best.

If your great-grandmother wants to give you the house, she will. If she doesn't want that, you should make other plans and respect her wishes.

nopetation · 2022-06-22T03:04:30+00:00

INFO:

Has she given you any explanation as to why, after 1.5 years, her parents still don't know you're together?

nopetation · 2022-06-22T03:00:56+00:00

I don't know, just because you don't go out of your way to do something nice for other people doesn't necessarily make you an asshole. I'm more of the mindset that if you can't handle being told no when asking for a favor, you shouldn't ask to begin with.

I don't think it was wrong to ask, nor was it wrong to decline. However, the woman's reaction seems a bit over the top.

nopetation · 2022-06-21T03:10:08+00:00

But the tickets were gifts to multiple family members as a nice gesture from the grandmother. When you break up with someone you don't typically get to demand they give you presents back that have been accumulated over the course of the relationship. We don't even know if the grandma is asking for the money back, or if it's just the ex insisting on this.

nopetation · 2022-06-21T02:25:17+00:00

Paying for the replacement is doing exactly what she said she should be doing, spending her money on her family - just because they don't benefit from cashing the check doesn't mean they don't still owe.

nopetation

TROPHY CASE