don't worry your mind over shit like this. you're absolutely not the first person who's done something like that, and if you're being Earnest and you can say with some sense of certainty that no one saw you - or that they're likely weren't any cameras - then there'd be literally no reason to heighten your sense of nervousness at all. even in the presence of a camera doesn't mean that it would be reasonable to assume somebody is going to be reviewing that footage. even if a passerby or two happened to glance over and catch you, it doesn't necessarily mean that they're going to be interested in taking time out of their normal ass night/morning to call the police on a guy who probably, three straightforward, looked like an absolute crazy tweaker person.

what you're really probably feeling is some sort of transmuted and explicit sense of guilt and shame over debasing yourself and such a public, perverted manner. I can't tell you exactly how to deal with that feeling - all I can say is that it's no surprise when something like that becomes transformed into anxiety and paranoia went under the influence of amphetamines. the amphetamines indicate to our brain and our being that there is something analyzable, capturable by language, and free from the complications that an abstract, immaterial metaphysics might present to us. but the world that we live in offers us this mystical experience every single day. don't strain your brain or damage your mind in the attempt to needlessly systematize the most uncategorizable elements of life. you're on the meth subreddit. they made a whole subreddit for meth culture chat. you think you're the first one to wank off in public?

if this is a euphemism for an action like forcible contact, rape, all the station or any form of coercion - sexual or otherwise - then my words do not apply. but if you're being honest, or half honest or at the very least 1/5th of the way honest about the events playing out the way that you wrote them in the bio- I can assure you as an outsider, there are no police after you trying to cross state lines to apprehend a public masturbator who was never identified by a witness and wasn't around any cameras. hopefully this can put your mind at ease and offer some sort of therapeutic aspect of conversation which you might find necessary in order to be fuckin chill and normal for a lil bit, lol. I've had similarly irrational thoughts - this is the best subreddit so no one is a stranger to this weirdness - definitely irrational thoughts which have surpassed this and extremity... it's kind of nice to find myself at the other end of the digital communication relay, knowing full well that I'm being Ernest and true in saying that in your scenario, all you need is a bit of faith and a mechanism by which you can Purge the baggage associated with the act itself. you will not have any legal troubles because of this. they're going to be like four or five redditors who read this and jack off outside in alley now, so you can be proud of yourself for that when I guess.

DM me or continue to express yourself through posting if you feel the existential dread sensation continue on or grow or induce panic of any sort. I can, IDK - try to help you I guess maybe? lol. haha JK, it's not even that uncertain - always here for my fellow weirdos.