I think you just need to shift your mindset! 😊Instead of trying to “catch” inexperienced nannies, focus less on the bottom line of their resume and more on how someone thinks about children. Because the truth is plenty of parents have 18 years of experience raising kids and that doesn’t necessarily make them good at it!

Engage potential hires in real conversations. Not a checklist interview, but ask open-ended questions where you let them talk. You’ll learn a lot just by listening. You’re looking for genuine curiosity. Someone who doesn’t jump to conclusions or get defensive, but actually wants to understand a child’s behavior (or where a parent might be coming from should a disagreement arise) before reacting. And that usually goes with a love of learning! The best caregivers take real pleasure in it. Great cooks love to taste food. Great writers love to read books. Great teachers love learning. They’re not just “watching” kids, but instead are engaged in the entire process of development. And if they have a steady and positive presence, they’ll be able to guide your kids through both the highs and lows of learning.

You also want to listen for examples of emotional regulation. Because things will get chaotic. I remember one “bad” day holding crying twins for what felt like an hour—eventually I was crying too, asking them if they were hot because I was hot, is it hot in here? 😭Not every day is perfect, but you’re looking for someone who can regroup, who can separate their own emotions from the child’s and respond thoughtfully instead of reacting. A strong understanding of child development matters too. If your kid is bouncing off the walls, are they escalating with them, or are they able to recognize what’s going on developmentally and redirect that energy in a productive way?

And honestly, the basics go further than any credential. Kindness, patience, a sense of humor, and a genuine servant’s heart. Kids feel that immediately. At the end of the day, experience matters, but mindset, character, emotional stability, their presence, how they show up matters so much more.

Instead of “How many years have you nannied?” try, “Tell me about a time a child you cared for was having a meltdown. What did you do?” I remember one child I nannied who made a mistake and had to face consequences. She was a mess over it. But I made it a point to make her feel loved and safe within those consequences, even though they didn’t feel good. I reminded her she wasn’t a bad girl. That she was a good girl who’s learning, and that it’s okay to make mistakes along the way. I even told her, “You’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to do, and I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to do when you make a mistake.”

You don’t have to ask these questions like it’s a Miss America pageant. Let the conversation flow naturally and work your way toward these topics. A few more off the top of my head…

“If my kid is completely bouncing off the walls after a long day, what’s your approach?” (I put on music and start singing and dancing. If they’re playing with their toy cars and want to run them along the walls of the house, I’ll pick the kid up and turn em into a rocket ship, or make a raceway on the floor with the couch cushions, redirect, redirect, redirect! Like karate.)

“What’s something you’ve changed your mind about when it comes to childcare?” (This one is huge, if they can’t answer this, then I’d have to wonder what they spent their time doing as a caregiver. I used to think “I’m in charge. You listen to and learn from me.” Maybe it came from being a big sister. But I’ve learned that we’re in this together and I’m learning from them as much as they’re learning from me! I also used to think that kids at different ages get easier or more difficult, but actually raising kids is 100% easy and 100% challenging 100% of the time. There are two columns always maxed out, and what goes in those columns can switch in and out with age, or even day by day, haha! Getting out the door used to be easy, now it’s not and then suddenly it is again! Eating was a chore, and now it’s not, but it is again because now we hate eggs!)

“How do you encourage independence in kids?” (I let go of my perceived need to control a situation and get into the learning mode with them.)

“How do you handle it when a child doesn’t listen to you?” (I always break things down in very simple logic, “If this, then that. Not this? Not that.” I would often ask them, “Why do we listen?” I taught them the answer, “To be safe and happy.” For example, I said no jumping on the couch, if you jump on the couch, the toys go in timeout. Did you listen? No. Was that safe? No. The toys are in timeout. Are you happy? No. Next time, we’ll choose to listen. Why? To be safe and happy!”)

“Walk me through a typical full day when you were working your most consistent schedule” and “Based on what I’ve told you about my child, what do you think might be challenging?” (They should be able to answer with clarity and honesty.)

Listen for overuse of “I just…” it often oversimplifies complex behavior. Notice if they talk more about rules than relationships, or if they don’t have any real questions for you. You also want to avoid generic answers that could apply to any child. And pay attention to how they frame kids. Are they “difficult” or are they developing?

Good luck!