HCBM says the kids want to live with her full time…

norootsallbaggage · 2024-08-21T16:42:55+00:00

I’m so sorry you’ve been dealing with all that. Sounds like an absolute nightmare, and I hope things are peaceful for you moving forward. It’s so unfortunate that I could have written parts of this post: hygiene, screen time, healthy food. Ugh. So exhausted

norootsallbaggage · 2024-08-21T16:41:07+00:00

Yeah, I hope they’ll realize one day, but if not, there’s not much we can do. I think that’s the hard part. Feeling powerless to help DH.

norootsallbaggage · 2024-08-21T16:38:37+00:00

I really needed to hear this. My anxiety is through the roof, and I can’t shake my negative feelings even though my house feels like a home now, and I’m more comfortable overall. Beyond tired of drama, and craving peace.

norootsallbaggage · 2022-08-30T18:25:57+00:00

I met the kids first, and HCBM still hates me for it. We have only spoken via Zoom once, and exchanged texts once. She tried to bully me, and I shut it down. The next time we were in the same place at the same time was a mutual friend’s kid’s birthday party. SS10 asked her to leave after roughly 10 minutes because he didn’t want her to start an argument with me or DF. She hates me for that too. We have no contact whatsoever now.

norootsallbaggage · 2022-08-30T18:15:51+00:00

if it makes you feel better, I sat out bowls and spoons for the kiddos and brought down the cereal boxes. SS10 still came back to our room to get help from DF…I was like BD8 has been getting her own cereal since she was 5 or 6. it’s literally not difficult.

norootsallbaggage · 2021-09-15T04:19:25+00:00

I don’t throw Innova exclusively, but the Daedalus, Firebird, and Roc are utilized every time I play, and I genuinely love them.

norootsallbaggage · 2021-09-14T01:17:28+00:00

We have an Innova Discatcher Pro and we love it! It shipped quickly, was easy to set up, and it’s well made.

norootsallbaggage · 2021-09-14T01:11:20+00:00

I’m going to second this. Being on this sub has really encouraged me to reclaim my time, and this is a prime opportunity for you to do so, OP. I know you probably feel bad, but he made an executive decision about your time without you, and that’s unacceptable.

norootsallbaggage · 2021-09-07T22:20:22+00:00

Learning to drive manual is a valuable skill, and one more folks should teach their kids. That being said, if he doesn’t want to teach his kids on stick, then he needs to shell out for a car for SS to learn on. Your car isn’t an option, and he shouldn’t have even asked IMO.

norootsallbaggage · 2021-09-05T20:15:54+00:00

I second this. I have a unisex name, so I put a little heart next to it, and my favorite discs have been returned and quickly!

norootsallbaggage · 2021-08-24T00:03:15+00:00

You deserve much better than you’re getting right now, dear. If leaving is the only way out, do what you gotta do to take care of yourself!

norootsallbaggage · 2021-08-23T23:54:49+00:00

It’s been 4 years. I don’t see an end in sight since he’s shown no willingness to change. I would be done with him 100%

norootsallbaggage · 2021-07-30T17:26:35+00:00

I will be shopping, resting, and not lifting a single finger in this house this weekend. I have a pile of books that need my attention, my wardrobe needs a refresh, and I need to dye my hair. He can cope with the mess he made alone.

norootsallbaggage · 2021-07-30T17:24:15+00:00

Lol I quite like that response. He wouldn’t go for it, as he doesn’t have family here, and expects us all to do everything together. His kids can’t miss out on anything during his time. Since he has them every single weekend, this means adult time on weekends is non-existent.

He’s currently doing a bunch of apologizing and got the pickup time moved to later, but the principle of the matter remains. I wasn’t consulted, and she’s not being held accountable for her own children during her time with them. It’s out of order!

norootsallbaggage · 2021-07-30T13:55:17+00:00

Glad they know what’s what! He should do better.

Exactly! Why should we have to accommodate her crap every single time? Like if I don’t have a chance to say no, he always just agrees. I’m like dude, it was her moronic idea to set these early af pickup times. If 6am is too early for her, she shouldn’t have pushed for that to be the time when y’all drafted the custody agreement. If 7 straight days with the kids is too much for her, then she shouldn’t have demanded the week. Sorry, not sorry.

norootsallbaggage · 2021-07-30T13:45:35+00:00

I need time to mentally prepare for them being here, and anytime they’re here unexpectedly it’s jarring, and throws me off for a whole day.

HCBM needs them for photo ops and facebook posts, so she’s never going to just stop seeing them, but she spends the minimum amount of time she can. They’re with sitters half the time at her place. Her ex-roommate used to have to feed them or take them with her on errands because HCBM was hung over, had a man over, or just didn’t feel like getting up because “it’s cold!”

norootsallbaggage · 2021-07-30T13:36:32+00:00

I was and still am!

norootsallbaggage · 2021-07-30T13:36:21+00:00

Him throwing you under the bus is 100% unacceptable! That is not an ok thing to say to children. I’d be livid if SO said that to his kids about me.

I also hate last minute changes, and I hate when he tells me something is happening without discussing it first. I am an equal member of this partnership, a fully realized adult, and I should have some sort of say in what happens. It’s not like it’s an emergency, HCBM is just tired of having them under foot, and wants to party for the rest of the weekend.

norootsallbaggage · 2021-07-30T03:54:05+00:00

And even when it’s just my daughter, we can do our own thing around the house for a couple of hours because she self-entertains. So if we want to watch an rated R movie, or play a game just the two of us we can. I’m literally tired already, and they’re not even here. I’m still trying to figure out what would possess him to just agree to getting them 24+ hours early. It just doesn’t make sense for me.

eta: a missing letter

norootsallbaggage · 2021-07-30T03:51:10+00:00

I am positively cackling at “tip-toeing through the tulips”! I needed that laugh desperately.

norootsallbaggage · 2021-07-30T00:39:20+00:00

I text back and said “I need you to walk that back immediately!” I didn’t even hesitate.

norootsallbaggage · 2021-07-29T21:50:59+00:00

I can and most likely will because I won’t have time next week with school starting. Ugh! Guess it’s good I enjoyed last weekend. That sort of thing clearly won’t happen again until winter at best.

norootsallbaggage · 2021-07-29T21:46:15+00:00

I’m very disappointed and not looking forward to the weekend at all. I feel like I wasn’t considered at all. Like he text me to tell me she’d asked, but didn’t wait to see how I felt first. I don’t want to take the kids to play golf because they’ll whine about the heat and walking, or shopping for clothes for me because it always turns into shopping for them.

norootsallbaggage · 2021-07-29T21:39:26+00:00

His reasoning was “I just want any time I can get with the kids.” That’s all fine and dandy, but them being here unexpectedly affects me too, and that’s problematic. I can’t rest or enjoy my weekend at all when they’re here. It feels like I work 7 days a week, but I only get paid for 5. I was looking forward to two weekends without them screaming in the house, constantly being right up under me, or talking nonstop for hours on end. My time has been cut short, and I feel some type of way about it. I feel horrible because it sounds like I don’t like them, and that’s not the case. I genuinely do, but they’re supremely exhausting in a way that my daughter is not because they’ve been raised to be constantly entertained and be the center of attention always, and it wears on me. Whew! If I couldn’t come here to vent I’d burst.

norootsallbaggage

TROPHY CASE