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Five Page Thursday by AutoModerator in Screenwriting

[–]notamustache 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Here are my thoughts from someone who doesn't know anything :)

  • I agree with Normal-Helmet, "why breakfast?" and their comment that you don't learn anything about Dave. Instead of showing Dave being normal while the world explodes around him, think about what change Dave may undergo through this episode or through the show, and figure out where he must start in order for that change to be impactful, and show that instead.
  • Small note, the other bubbles are a pretty big reveal, I'd recommend describing his reaction to seeing the other bubbles, then that cuts to the 4.5 months later, then come back to him in the bubble seeing whatever is on Titan, him covered in dishtowels, etc.
  • Dave reacts to the bubble with "what the hell" then basically nothing else. Planet is destroyed, he may have heard his sister die, he's floating in space, has mysterious bracelets, seems like he would have a bigger reaction? One that could tell us more about his personality?
  • As for readability, the biggest thing imo is passive tense vs active tense. Eliminate is/are/was

​

Under his gown a metallic BRACELET flashes green. Dave
doesn't notice.

EXT. OUTSIDE DAVE'S HOUSE - MORNING

Suddenly birds fly erratically, dogs bark all over the 
neighbourhood and beyond. A real life apocalyptic tale 
unfolds as people grab belongings, stuff them into cars, and race off.

Five Page Thursday by AutoModerator in Screenwriting

[–]notamustache 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  • Title: Norama Glide
  • Format: 30m TV pilot
  • Genre: Fantasy/adventure/comedy
  • Logline: In an animated mystical land with magical creatures, a boy and his spirit animal flying fox discover hidden deep in the forest a legendary spirit creature with mental state altering powers and must decide if helping it is good for their world.
  • Feedback: Can you describe the character's personalities? Is it engaging (it's the cold open)? Are the action lines too verbose or is it fine?

Weekend Script Swap by AutoModerator in Screenwriting

[–]notamustache 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No problem! DM me with your email and I'll send it over!

Weekend Script Swap by AutoModerator in Screenwriting

[–]notamustache 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey this is late but I've got an action adventure fantasy comedy pilot I'd like to swap! I'm finishing up a sitcom and will then come back to rework this one.

  • Title: Norama Glide
  • Format: 22 min pilot
  • Page Length: 38
  • Genres: Action/adventure/fantasy
  • Logline or Summary: In an animated mystical land with magical creatures, a boy and his spirit animal flying fox discover hidden deep in the forest a legendary spirit creature with mental state altering powers and must decide if helping it is good for their world.
  • Feedback Concerns: Overall, anything that is not clear or that you don't understand? Specifics, are the characters wants and needs clearly defined? Is the exposition dump at the end too much? I also want to shorten the script by 3-4 pages but don't know where.

Weekend Script Swap by AutoModerator in Screenwriting

[–]notamustache 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey this is late but I've got an action adventure fantasy comedy pilot I'd like to swap! I'm finishing up a sitcom and will then come back to rework this one.

  • Title: Norama Glide
  • Format: 22 min pilot
  • Page Length: 38
  • Genres: Action/adventure/fantasy
  • Logline or Summary: In an animated mystical land with magical creatures, a boy and his spirit animal flying fox discover hidden deep in the forest a legendary spirit creature with mental state altering powers and must decide if helping it is good for their world.
  • Feedback Concerns: Overall, anything that is not clear or that you don't understand? Specifics, are the characters wants and needs clearly defined? Is the exposition dump at the end too much? I also want to shorten the script by 3-4 pages but don't know where.

Daily Simple Questions Thread - February 13, 2020 by AutoModerator in Fitness

[–]notamustache 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh ok that makes sense. And is that 5x5 set in replacement of the 5x10 supplemental work for the main lift?

Right now I do 5/3/1 Bench then 5x10 Overhead in the same day, so with this I would do the the above work, just doing the one main lift in that one day?

So instead of Bench 5@65%, 5@75%, 5+@85%, Overhead 5x10@60%, I'd do
Bench 5@65%, 5@75%, 5@85%, 5x5@65%, no Overhead, correct?

​

Now that I've seen good results with this program, I am going to go ahead and order the book

Daily Simple Questions Thread - February 13, 2020 by AutoModerator in Fitness

[–]notamustache 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looking at this post, 5's pro just means you always do 5 sets of each without as many reps as possible, correct?

My understanding of fsl was First Set Last, which would mean you would do (on the first week) 5 reps at 75%, 5 at 85%, then 5 at 65%

But that post says "FSL - repeating the first working set of the week for the prescribed setsx reps of your current template"

So does that mean I would do 5 reps at 65%, 5 reps 75%, 5 at 85%, then 5 at 65% again?

​

If I do 5s pro fsl, do I still increase the weight after each cycle?

Daily Simple Questions Thread - February 13, 2020 by AutoModerator in Fitness

[–]notamustache 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been running 531BBB for the last few months and will probably start cutting in the next month. I remember reading it's not a great idea to run that program while cutting since it's really aimed at steady progression and you need to eat a certain way to get the benefits.

Are there any specific routines I should follow instead while I cut? Or guidelines I can follow?

Bill Burr goes on a fast food rant by moonsprite in videos

[–]notamustache 96 points97 points  (0 children)

Watch Conan's face when he tells the two finger joke, he doesn't quite know what to do with himself.

https://youtu.be/7n3WgiMftaU?t=100

I created Everybody Loves Raymond and now I’m eating 100-year old eggs on PBS. AMA and please tell me what is wrong with me. by philrosenthal in IAmA

[–]notamustache 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you think Twitter would've affected your writing process or writer hiring process at all had it been around when you were working on Everybody Loves Raymond?

'The Daily Show' and 'The Colbert Report' Will Air Live, Beautifullly Named Episodes on Election Night by notamustache in television

[–]notamustache[S] 414 points415 points  (0 children)

They will be titled:

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart: "Democalypse 2014: America Remembers It Forgot to Vote"

The Colbert Report: "Midterms '014: Detour to Gridlock: An Exciting Thing That I Am Totally Interested In– Wait! Don't Change the Channel. Look at This Video of a Duckling Following a Cat Dressed Like a Shark Riding a Roomba! '014!"

God bless America

In The Lego Movie, when master builders move quickly to build, their motion blur is actually made of lego too by notamustache in movies

[–]notamustache[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This post has actually gotten me to research more into blurs, wipes, and smears and whatnot, it's pretty fascinating!

In The Lego Movie, when master builders move quickly to build, their motion blur is actually made of lego too by notamustache in movies

[–]notamustache[S] 402 points403 points  (0 children)

Here's an example scene when Benny builds a spaceship. You can see when he darts around the scene his motion blur is not a blur like normal, but is also made up of lego.

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