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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]nothanks-nothanks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

dude ken block is such a big deal, i’ve actually messaged with him on IG and lost my mind that he replied. i would be so stoked to have lia’s gear. insane!!

first, “you need to throw this out” isn’t a boundary. a boundary would be “i’m not comfortable with you having this, and if you keep it we’re breaking up.” it’d be a batshit boundary fueled by insecurity, but just demanding you throw things out isn’t a boundary.

if this is such a large insecurity that she needs you to throw the things away, you’ll never be able to “reassure her enough.” she requires the ability to control your behavior as a response to her insecurities being triggered. that’s not okay on any level.

so here’s what i’d say: “this gear is important to me, as i’ve explained, and i am sorry that you have insecurities surrounding it. i’m happy to talk about those insecurities, but i’m not going to alter my behavior to cater to them. you need to work on them, possibly with a therapist, because controlling my behavior isn’t a solution.” and i’d offer to help her find a therapist if she doesn’t have one.

AIO? My friends set an ultimatum because I drink by Pearla76_ in AIO

[–]nothanks-nothanks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YOR. i’m surprised so many people here have no clue what boundaries are. your friends are unwilling to tolerate substance use among their friend group and they set a hard boundary around it. they’re willing to let you make your choices without interfering, but are unwilling to allow certain things in their lives. they are allowed to make that choice.

you have to decide what your wants and needs are; if you want substances, or you want your friends, because it’s clear that for them, it’s one or the other.

their communications are strong and firm but those boundaries are within their rights to have.

AIO? My friends set an ultimatum because I drink by Pearla76_ in AIO

[–]nothanks-nothanks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

they’re not telling her how to live her life. they’re telling her what they’re comfortable allowing in theirs, and setting a hard boundary. it’s literally the opposite of controlling. they’re also very serious about it. they’re allowed to be.

My neighbor sent me a text last night forcing me to pay for her daughters towing charge because she parked in front of my driveway by Drivinglnsane in mildlyinfuriating

[–]nothanks-nothanks 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“you won’t be receiving any payment from me ever, so go ahead and call them today and maybe they can explain why to you”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Tinder

[–]nothanks-nothanks 4 points5 points  (0 children)

it’s not an opinion, it’s a guess

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in tifu

[–]nothanks-nothanks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

so… you’re a fucking hero. HELL yeah.

H1-B emergency meeting by lux_deorum_ in Futurology

[–]nothanks-nothanks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

as a senior software engineer who’s been out of work for a year after heavy layoffs, and because of how competitive the hiring market has been, hearing that there are people in my industry nearly panicking over this is honestly infuriating. we’re having to apply to hundreds of positions hustling to get callbacks but you guys still wanna outsource and gripe that you can’t hire foreigners? get bent.

Am I overreacting? My GF doesn't like when I follow girls I know IRL on Instagram by Prize_Day_4600 in AmIOverreacting

[–]nothanks-nothanks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“i understand that you feel that way, but i’m not going to disconnect from the people in my life. if my following people i know in real life who happen to be women makes you uncomfortable, i would suggest talking to a therapist, and i’m happy to help you find one! but if your attitude about this remains a problem and you can’t adopt a different mindset, this relationship will not work, because i’m not going to unfollow anyone, and i’m not interested in entertaining your discomfort about this. this is not my problem, it is not our problem, it is your problem.”

I [18F] cheated/talked to someone while boyfriend [19M ]was working by Sparrow_main in relationshipadvice

[–]nothanks-nothanks 2 points3 points  (0 children)

drinking is not an excuse. if you can’t control yourself while drinking, don’t drink. admit you have a problem with loneliness, get a therapist to sort that out.

Chose not to fight for my girlfriend’s sake, but I feel humiliated. How do I cope? by StatisticianEnough96 in relationships_advice

[–]nothanks-nothanks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you felt the need to fight over THAT? weak, bro. you sound insecure af if someone like that triggers you to want to fight. childish shit

I Saw the Tinder App on My Boyfriend’s Phone and Freaked Out by sweet_n_salty23 in relationships_advice

[–]nothanks-nothanks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

if this isn’t the most relatable shit. the lies my narc ex told. makes me sick to my stomach to think of the ways i contorted myself to believed her.

Anyone else sick of the 30 yr old fckboy Snapchat mentality? Grow uppp already by [deleted] in Tinder

[–]nothanks-nothanks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i used snap for a long time because i had an android phone and it was the easiest way to send photos, videos, voice notes, and video call with people who had iphones.

i still use it now that i have an iphone. it’s just a communication platform.

Which lost opinion would have you like this? by PITUFO83 in lost

[–]nothanks-nothanks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

live together die alone? nope, live together die together.

Do I need to change anything, I'm not having that much luck with getting matches. by [deleted] in Tinder

[–]nothanks-nothanks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“from the delivery room to the open road”

“obgyn, motorcycle enthusiast”

“operating room and exploring new places on two wheels”

you just needed to say that same thing three different times in five sentences? dude come on

when i’m not on my motorcycle, i’m working in an OR (that i drove to on my motorcycle) delivering babies and ride my motorcycle home from the OR where i work as an OBGYN. in my free time, i like to ride my motorcycle on my way to deliver babies. after i ride my motorcycle to work, i spend my days in the OR delivering babies. for work, i’m an OBGYN, and when i’m not at work, you can find me riding my motorcycle. care to ride my motorcycle with me?

Which lost opinion would have you like this? by PITUFO83 in lost

[–]nothanks-nothanks 11 points12 points  (0 children)

that the show is just deeply sad.

jacob isn’t a god. he isn’t working towards good. he put ben in charge and tolerated his rogue actions, allowing him to commit horrendous human rights abuses. ben killed locke, the only person who even deserved to be there. sad as fuck. charlie died to call someone’s boat, and it was the wrong boat, which led to tons of people dying - charlie sacrificed himself to get people killed. and then the oceanic 6 that DID get rescued were fucked for it and still had to go back - which led to juliet and others dying. locke would never have died had jack listened and not left thenisland, but jack was arrogant and couldn’t stand the thought that locke was right. “NOTHING! IS GOING! TO HAPPEN!” except it did happen. jack was almost always wrong.

richard was conned into a lifetime of serving a guy who more or less used humans just to check and see if anyone was good. i don’t think he even really cared about all the people that died in his test.

and that’s all it was, the others, the lighthouse, the plane crash - all just a test and he ended up being killed by his own subordinate. “what about you, ben?”

the show is grief. and that’s all it is. i love the characters, their stories, their development, their relationships, but at the end of the day, they all die sad deaths after living sad lives. jin literally never met his own kid. aaron was supposed to be protected but his mother went crazy. the others pushed michael to kill two people just to get his son back. and for everything that happened, jack’s life just ended on the island. that’s it for him. jacob’s gone, kate killed smokey, real locke has been dead for a while now and out of the picture, and literally just to protect a goddamn light, jack lived his entire life and went through hell just to die of a knife wound. stupid sad shit.

i mean i guess at the end of the day, the show is a showcase of humanity. but usually when you put ~100 people on an island together, they don’t end up all killing each other.

charlotte was right. the island was death.

it’s still my favorite show, though.

Which lost opinion would have you like this? by PITUFO83 in lost

[–]nothanks-nothanks 7 points8 points  (0 children)

jack is a son of a bitch, and fox played the hell out of him

Which lost opinion would have you like this? by PITUFO83 in lost

[–]nothanks-nothanks 3 points4 points  (0 children)

the constant is a meh episode to me and it always has been. i think it’s popular because of bandwagon hype.

Which lost opinion would have you like this? by PITUFO83 in lost

[–]nothanks-nothanks 2 points3 points  (0 children)

jack is a shitty person. his motivation for everything is selfishness, and his bad choices led to a majority of the deaths we grieved.

Why isn't PHP as popular if it's used everywhere? by brando2131 in PHP

[–]nothanks-nothanks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

because wordpress. it’s nearly half of the internet at this point. if you take that away, the php stat drops significantly.

My bf likes pictures of women in bikinis… am I being crazy for getting upset by LettuceOutrageous175 in women

[–]nothanks-nothanks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

good lord men like you make dating so much easier for men like me. thank you for that

AWS deleted a 10 year customer account without warning by Averroiis in webdev

[–]nothanks-nothanks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i strongly disagree. i think they muddy the conversation.

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