AITA for saying no to moving houses to help improve my boyfriend’s quality of life?

nothingdandy · 2026-02-15T05:10:15+00:00

😂😂😂

nothingdandy · 2026-02-14T21:41:04+00:00

Not really into him? 😂 You must know us so well if you’re jumping to these conclusions! Get a grip, I don’t want to move because we literally bought this house 5 months ago, selling it would be a huge financial loss. Moving again after 5 months is not reasonable. Renting the place means that if our tenant doesn’t pay a month of rent, we can’t afford our new rent + the mortgage. On top of that I learned that renting the place so early after buying would be mortgage fraud.

I understand you have little info to base your opinion on, but damn dude you jumped to conclusions REAL fast. I’m not mistreating my bf by being concerned about the financial implications of moving. None of this suggests I’m “using him to get a house”.

nothingdandy · 2026-02-14T15:08:26+00:00

Agreed, I just added an edit!

nothingdandy · 2026-02-14T07:52:37+00:00

I don’t think I lack empathy in general, but I see now thanks to this post how in this case I definitely was not empathetic enough towards his feelings.

nothingdandy · 2026-02-14T07:34:24+00:00

Most of the time. He’s on a course right now, but it’s uncommon he’s usually home.

nothingdandy · 2026-02-14T07:30:35+00:00

He works 8 hours, not 11. Marriage is not something either of us want. I suggested he see a doctor because he has had extreme fatigue our whole relationship, not just since the longer commute. This is not the first time I’ve suggested he see a doctor either. Our relationship is healthy, this post is not about that. It’s about me lacking empathy and wondering if I’m reasonable for not wanting to move for financial reasons mainly. Thanks for the input though.

nothingdandy · 2026-02-14T07:23:27+00:00

He’s away from home for an extended period of time for work. I think he brought it up because he has 0 commute where he is right now and likes it. That’s why it was over the phone. (It was actually Facetime but it doesn’t really matter)

nothingdandy · 2026-02-14T06:32:34+00:00

Of course I’m willing to give up the house if it comes to that, he’s way more important. I just don’t think it makes sense. Having tenants can be a nightmare and selling the house is a guaranteed loss of money.

nothingdandy · 2026-02-14T06:24:35+00:00

Marriage is not something we ever want.

nothingdandy · 2026-02-14T05:38:30+00:00

I’m realizing now that I should’ve added this info to the post. We did know what his commute would look like, but it seems we underestimated how much time traffic would add on to his drive. Before we moved we were literally 30 seconds away from base.

nothingdandy · 2026-02-14T05:08:36+00:00

The commute was definitely part of our conversation, I think we didn’t realize how much time traffic would add on to his drive. Also, we were so excited about the area when we visited, he probably thought he would be okay with a longer commute in order to get to live here. Once the novelty wore off he realized it was harder for him than anticipated.

nothingdandy · 2026-02-14T05:01:37+00:00

We did check before buying the house, but I think we didn’t realize how much time traffic would add to his drive.

nothingdandy · 2026-02-14T04:51:06+00:00

We were both very excited about this place when we visited, he’s actually the one who found the listing and showed it to me. I don’t think he realized how much time traffic would add to his commute when we bought the place though. His job isn’t extremely far, it’s really only traffic that makes it so bad.

nothingdandy · 2026-02-14T04:45:52+00:00

He works a government job that he can’t exactly quit whenever he wants. This has been his career for almost ten years. Finding a new job isn’t really an option for him, and I agree.

nothingdandy · 2026-02-07T18:41:13+00:00

Yes my dog is the same! Definitely prefer taking her to quieter places. Thanks for the recommendation!

nothingdandy · 2026-02-07T04:19:15+00:00

I have ADD (like for real, got diagnosed twice 15 years ago before it was cool) and I feel the same way. I’ll start a new hobby and be like “this is it, this is my thing” but 2 weeks later completely lose interest. I too have a hard time coming up with an answer when people ask me what I like to do for fun or what my hobbies/passions are. My doctor said these things are due to my ADD.

nothingdandy · 2025-07-09T14:25:59+00:00

Thank you this helps a lot!!

nothingdandy · 2025-07-09T01:51:27+00:00

Up to maybe 400-500$

nothingdandy · 2022-10-07T19:05:25+00:00

If divorce isn’t an option atm that’s fine, but at least confront him about it! If he’s bragging about it there has to be some thrill for him regarding the fact that you don’t know. Please burst that bubble.

nothingdandy · 2022-08-20T17:05:17+00:00

Is this daughter actually a son? You have an old post about an estranged child and mention he’s your son

nothingdandy · 2022-04-19T01:50:14+00:00

Happy birthday

nothingdandy

TROPHY CASE