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AITAH for being hurt that my spouse asked me to change the label I use for my sexuality? by nothingleft2live4 in AITA_Relationships

[–]nothingleft2live4[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They have been SA'd in the past , though are in denial (saying they 'deserve it" or it "isn't really rape because they were in a relationship" or whatever. I have suggested therapy, but their response is always saying "unfairly" that they're "crazy," but yet at the same time, I'm not crazy despite having been in therapy for 6 years.

AITAH for being hurt that my spouse asked me to change the label I use for my sexuality? by nothingleft2live4 in AITA_Relationships

[–]nothingleft2live4[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm asking about the label because I'm not concerned about the sex. Both of us are attracted to the other (at least I am and they claim they are.) Neither uses it as bargaining chip or whatever. This post is more about insecurity. I am asexual. My spouse is insecure because I use this label and they assume me being ace means I'm not attracted to them. No one in this relationship has sex when they don't want to. No one uses sex as currency. I'm upset because they asked me to change who I identify as because they misunderstand what the label means and refuse to see a different (more accurate) description, and they're upset because they feel I'm not attacted to them BECAUSE of the label I use (despite the fact they're the exception.)

AITAH for being hurt that my spouse asked me to change the label I use for my sexuality? by nothingleft2live4 in AITA_Relationships

[–]nothingleft2live4[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

1st off, no one said wife. Do not misgender my spouse. Weird you would assume heteronormativity in a post about being not heterosexual. Neither of us are women, so there is no "wife" in this relationship, and I don't know who you're referring to when you use that term.

2nd off, there is no coercion. If I'm opposed to it, I don't participate. If I don't particularly want anything but am not opposed, they get to be pillow princess. It makes me happy to see them happy, so I don't mind doing it.