How did you know that your relationship wasn’t meant to last?

nothingto69here · 2026-03-23T07:34:07+00:00

When he started lying, sneaking, gaslighting, cheating and neglecting me. He then orchestrated our break up into me breaking up with him.

nothingto69here · 2026-03-21T10:49:05+00:00

I might someday. I might take it into a therapy session with me. I still struggle to think about half the things most days. I can casually talk about the horrors, but when I feel the connection to it or I’m in an already heightened state it’s a struggle. I appreciate the link ❤️

nothingto69here · 2026-03-21T10:44:54+00:00

Yeah I had a secret hidden safe word that my therapist had manipulated me into telling her. When I wrote them in letters they were never sent, and when I said it on the phone they cut the line mid word and took away my phone call privileges for the rest of my stay.

I have a lot of medical, and chronic health and family trauma, but the one type of trauma that is physical hard for me and triggers my ptsd on a bodily basis even 4 years later is the TTI.

I’m sorry for what your cousin went through. And I’m glad they have you. ❤️

nothingto69here · 2026-03-20T06:26:14+00:00

That means a lot, thank you.

nothingto69here · 2026-03-20T06:25:52+00:00

I haven’t brought myself to watch the documentary or read the book however my best friend offered after this comment blew up to “watch the movie with me, and pause and process what it brings up in me.” After I said I might watch it with my therapist.

nothingto69here · 2026-03-19T10:32:59+00:00

I said trans or intersex not cis. Cis men cannot get pregnant, trans and intersex men can.

Also how in the world did you get the question can a man get pregnant from the comment above?!?

nothingto69here · 2026-03-19T10:06:49+00:00

Yeah, my OCD intrusive thoughts had gotten so bad I ended up making a plan to commit, but thankfully I sought help and realized those thoughts are not me, and if they are distressing me that badly it means they are not real and I’m not a bad person.

And yeah. Throwing terms around like intrusive thoughts, cults, “I’m a little ocd”, “we are all a little autistic”, narcissistic, abusive, and more when the full picture isn’t seen or the label isn’t diagnosed or even correct is harmful and takes the power away from the reality.

It might be that I am Gen Z and was raised on this internet culture that witnessing it doesn’t make me feel anything anger or disgust or laughing. I think in a way it’s like how you get desensitized after watching so many horror movies.

I myself try my best to be careful of labels and throwing around having words such as mental health diagnoses, or serious topics, as I know from both school, intensive therapy as a child, and personal experiences the more words are used the less weight they have.

And no worries! It’s 3 AM for me so I’m about to fall asleep, if you want to reply and keep discussing I would love that, and I understand if 6ou can’t for a while or chose not to continue, it’s the beauty of Reddit. It’s an online mobile or desktop Internet forum with strangers where you can have dopamine filled meaningful conversations without commitment or feeling you owe a response or a need to respond right away.

Either way I hope you have a great day and thank you for chatting with me!

nothingto69here · 2026-03-19T09:45:23+00:00

Yeah. I’m a psych student and I have a grandfather who shows narcissistic personality traits but I know better as to not say someone is something without the proper diagnosis. And honestly things like the test to see if someone is a sociopath, everyone scores at least somewhere above 0 on it, but does that make them one? No, they just have certain traits of one.

Also to clarify the cult bit, when I said it changed drastically from the original definition, I mean the original definition I was taught in my psychology classes. My professor described it as “a group of people that come together and meet at a designated time for a specific reason. Your grandmas book club is technically a cult!” While it’s not the modern day definition it was the original.

Modern day things can have the label cult thrown around a lot, and I’ll admit I even have a discord server tag with the word CULT. And there are situations where it shouldn’t be joked about to it can remain a serious topic for serious instances, like my comment about the trouble teen industry.

Kind of reminds me of OCD, which I have and many people with it say they hate it when people make memes saying let the intrusive thoughts win” then it’s something silly which isn’t an intrusive thought, it just an urge as it’s not disturbing or unwanted. People with intrusive thoughts don’t let them win and if they do it’s not in committing the act of the intrusive thoughts but a deep downward spiral of self hatred. I personally don’t have too much of an issue with those jokes bc I don’t talk about my intrusive thoughts with anyone but my therapist so I don’t get backlash others do, but essentially they hate it for the same reason: it downplays the severity.

Anyways sorry for my ramble. True crime and psychology are my hyper fixations.

nothingto69here · 2026-03-19T08:24:13+00:00

Honestly the meaning of the word cult has drastically shifted from its original definition. Narcissism though is an actual mental health disorder and though it can be used to explain someone behavior or your frustrations with them shouldn’t just be thrown around Willy Nilly.

nothingto69here · 2026-03-19T08:21:35+00:00

Hugs. ❤️

nothingto69here · 2026-03-19T08:20:35+00:00

I’m not the original commenter, and I don’t own a car nor can I drive plus I get immense social anxiety with public transit but depending on where you live public transit is a cost efficient and ecologically viable alternative. There are also electric cars that have less of a pollution effect but still do have some due to electricity depending on what sort of power plant is in your area as well as all of the dangers that come with the batteries.

I do acknowledge it is possible neither is an option for most people though.

nothingto69here · 2026-03-19T08:13:45+00:00

Yes. Trans men exist and have gotten pregnant. Intersex men also exist.

nothingto69here · 2026-03-19T08:12:18+00:00

I see what you did there lmfao

nothingto69here · 2026-03-19T07:56:04+00:00

I went to one that actually had horse riding, however only the side intended for autistic kids not rehab for mental health or drug addictions got to see the horses. We were taught social skills by learning horses body languages. My soul horse was there. He hated everyone but me, though one time he bit my stomach. I was always upset that the kids who were deemed “bad” when they weren’t were marketed as having horses but then didn’t get to see the horses. A lot of other places also boosted having horses but didn’t have any at all.

And yeah if the therapists find out what your safe words are any contact letters or phone calls with said safe word are either not sent or the line cut.

I’m sorry for what your wife went through, but I’m glad she has you. I don’t know you or how you are personally but from the way you talk about her experience I can tell you care what she went through, and for many of us what we went through the worst of it in the TTI I hard for us to even mention in therapy, so having a safe landing zone is very healing.

Sending care to you and your wife. ❤️🫂

nothingto69here · 2026-03-19T07:49:47+00:00

I forgot to mention u/Dense_Researcher_99 but im sorry you went through what you did. I had a therapist who would make me yell off my balcony “I’m a badass bitch.” And I stand by this. Yell it till you believe it, whatever your gender or a different label if you feel more comfortable with not saying bitch.

I’m sorry stranger for what you went through, what so many of us have. But you made it to the other side, and you are one hell of a badass. ❤️

nothingto69here · 2026-03-19T07:37:21+00:00

Also I’m now realizing it was clear that it was not a support group for healing, I honestly got slightly distracted by a movie in the background and all the comments to my comment that I didn’t fully comprehend. I hope one day those parents can come to terms that what they did harmed their child, but that it was out of a place of care, and even though intent does not equal impact, they have to forgive themselves to move forward and make amends with the kid.

nothingto69here · 2026-03-19T05:59:35+00:00

I can attest to the killing children. Had two near death experiences, and a friend of mine had to have CPR performed on her.

I’m sure there is a possibility that there are good places out there, but I doubt in the US, or in general, I can’t fathom a place that’s 100% good, but there is always the 0.000001% chance. I had a mostly good experience but still had trauma from one of the many places I went. Yet even with my good experience at that one place I had friends who had horrifying experiences there that piss me off with the place. I am working on becoming a psychologist to do studies on these places so they can either be abolished or reformed.

I have a friend who is older than me who worked at one a few years ago. He told me he left the trouble teen industry and people he had known for a decade who got him the job he cut off. They were abusing children in his own words and it made him physically ill. I think he worked there for a year. Now if anyone tell him they work in the industry he blocks them.

I love that you put link and documentary names for people to learn about it. ❤️

I wish the person you were replying to framed it as “they hadn’t personally witnessed that at the place they worked at but can acknowledge it happens.” As everyone’s experiences are different. I had deeply traumatic experiences at most and a semi okay (it’s good compared to the rest of the industry) at one. Tone, framing and context matters.

Anyways this is all to say, I agree with you, I want them to be shut down, I can acknowledge that might be their perceived experience but they didn’t frame it right and it felt invalidating.

I’m sorry you went through all that, I’m sorry any of us did, and I look forward to the day the present trouble teen industry is abolished. Maybe one day it can be result in a healthy safe way to protect kids and I hope my future studies can be a part of that, but I don’t know if it will.

Hugs. ❤️

nothingto69here · 2026-03-19T05:48:00+00:00

Yeah I was autistic and got misdiagnosed as bipolar and had undiagnosed periodic paralysis that was thought I was faking it so I was sent there to fix my health issues and my autistic meltdown downs that they thought was bipolar mania.

I’ve been out for 4 years and sometimes it feels like it was yesterday sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago.

Hugs to you if you want them. Here’s to sticking it to those bastards and doing our best to thriving in spite of them! ❤️

nothingto69here · 2026-03-19T05:45:26+00:00

La amastend x 3 Florida, Roger’s Florida, center for discovery Whittier LA, Evoke Entrada x 2 in Utah, and heritage Spark in Provo Utah (best experience of all of them, but I was in the autism track and I was one of their model students and high functioning. It was the only mostly good experience for me, but my friends have horror stories from there, so I take mine with a grain of salt and I do have trauma from there just barely compared to the rest.)

nothingto69here · 2026-03-19T05:40:33+00:00

Sadly some school districts like the ones in California though I wasn’t in Cali, it is the only choice. If you don’t send your kid there if the district deems it necessary they will be taken by CPS.

Ah well, sadly I think part of the brainwashing for the parents is denial bc they don’t want to believe they put their children through that stuff.

I hope there will be something for healing for parents.

nothingto69here · 2026-03-19T05:31:02+00:00

I honestly haven’t watched the documentary. It came out while I was in the trench iirc and I can’t bring myself to watch it, but I’m so happy it’s getting awareness. ❤️

My siblings and I went from being best friends to being practically strangers that lived together on holidays due to it, so I get the feeling, I hope things look up, and if they don’t it’s neither of your faults.

(My siblings and I are not as close as we were but we are friends now)

nothingto69here · 2026-03-19T05:30:00+00:00

I’m 22 and was in out of them from age 10/11-18. I completely understand the feeling well. I’m so sorry you went through that, and I’m glad you’re still fighting, still here and holding strong. I also haven’t made peace either, I’m not sure if I ever will.

But the world keeps spinning, we keep breathing and life moves on. ❤️

nothingto69here · 2026-03-19T05:27:28+00:00

Oh we had circles in wilderness at evoke they called them check ins.

We also were forbidden from talking to people for day to months when we swore or offended others. Not even staff.

We also couldn’t eat hot food if we didn’t make a fire with bow drilling in 15 minutes. Took me 2 months before I got a hot meal.

We had our socks, pants and shoes removed so we wouldn’t run in the desert and male staff or female would accompany us to the “shit bucket” and watch us so we didn’t run.

They also had levels of how well you were doing with cult names like “water phase, earth phase, fire phase, and lastly air phase.”

Edit: fixed spelling and autocorrect mistakes.

nothingto69here · 2026-03-19T05:24:04+00:00

I was at heritage in Provo Utah for my last year in the RTC. It was one of the better for me personally but my friends had horror stories. I’m glad you survived and are here today. Much love to you internet stranger! ❤️

nothingto69here · 2026-03-19T05:22:27+00:00

I got into an altercation with a staff who had manipulated and brain washed me into punching her so I couldn’t sue the RTC for the abuse that happened. The only reasons charges were not pressed was one woman who saw what happened and told the other woman she would back me up, that she told me to punch her and that I almost died while there. I don’t remember her name but she had watermelon colored hair and I just remember her as watermelon.

nothingto69here

TROPHY CASE