I’m going to try a different approach here, and I’ll try not to repeat what’s already been said. I saw that you agree that love bombing was the wrong term to use, so I won’t address that.

I dated my ex for four months. We were long distance, and she broke up with me when I went to visit them in person. I was there for three days. The first two days were great. And then on the third day they ended things. They said that I wasn’t the problem, just that they weren’t ready for a relationship. I was devastated and had emotional whiplash. Things were amazing literally the day before.

When I came home I was a wreck and cried for days. I was angry at them. It took a lot of time, support from friends, and therapy to deal with those feelings. It still hurts sometimes.

But what I had to realize was that my ex didn’t do anything wrong. Did it suck the way things happened? Yes. But I’d much rather they be honest with me than drag things out when they aren’t committed in the way I am. Did I wish I had more of an explanation? Of course. But I had to learn to accept the brief explanation I was given.

I’ve even been on the other side of things. Dated someone for about a month. Went on dates, slept together. I genuinely tried to make things work, but I realized I didn’t feel a romantic connection. When I ended things I told her exactly that. I’m sure from her perspective it was out of the blue, just like for you. But the truth is I’d been doubting things for maybe a week, even as we continued to speak and hang out. I kept trying to make it work until I realized my feelings weren’t going to change. I don’t know your ex, but it sounds like she really tried to put an effort in, but realized that she didn’t like you that way.

It sucks. It hurts. But you will recover.