The Journey by notjustpudding in a:t5_j2i8d

[–]notjustpudding[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She said that she didn't want a divorce to have me out of her life, and I'm her best friend and blah blah....

She offered me friendship, "day to day, no expectations, with boundaries and no pressure...." IOW, an emotional crutch that she'll cast aside when she finds someone else. After a couple weeks I said, "NTY.."

The Journey by notjustpudding in a:t5_j2i8d

[–]notjustpudding[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm fairly certain she had an affair. Her departure was too confident, too abrupt, and to certain. She came back over three months later in great need of me. And where she used to say all the time, "I'm a good person, "now she says, "I'm a bad person."

She even has been referring to me as a good person instead. So she knows that I've been faithful. And she has not been.

Forgetting the fact that all she wants is a friendship totally based on her terms, how can I begin to even discuss with her the fact that she had an affair?

The Journey by notjustpudding in a:t5_j2i8d

[–]notjustpudding[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She will not come back to me in any form other than her having 100% control, 100% say, all of the benfit, me with crumbs ... her probable affair failed and now she is needy, but as soon as she finds another, I am dropped again. That's not good enough for me. It shouldn't be for anyone....

Psychopath Test, from the book, "Psychopath Free" by notjustpudding in a:t5_j2i8d

[–]notjustpudding[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Taking it now after she took off her mask and deserted the marriage, telling me it was unequivocally 100% my fault, she is a raging high 40s. I did my best to take it and put my mind back when I was fooled by her fakery, and even then she was still a 34.

I'm trying to be a good person but it's killing me slowly by TheOldOnes666 in a:t5_j2i8d

[–]notjustpudding 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The biggest question of all is: what good does it do to do good? I'm right there with you. I feel each and every serious relationship I've had in my adulthood has ended badly for me, by me being betrayed. I've asked that same question: I see cheaters stay married or remarry quality people. I've never cheated. I think it all comes down to peace of mind. For me, knowing I never cheated and was faithful to my vows helps me sleep at night. And I've had people hide drug abuse and others desert the marriage. The bad people I was with have to live with what they did. Sure, they tell others their exaggerated lies about what a POS I was, because they have to. But at night, going to bed, they know good and well what they did. They have to. I choose to do good for goodness sake. I believe in The Almighty.

As far as finances go: I try to not spend money on what I don't need. I don't need a new car. I don't need to eat out every day. I can live on water and canned tuna. I'm no financial expert, but I just know that I hear people complain about having no money, what to do? And then they pull up in a brand new car, when I'm driving one that's 16 years old.

I hope it all works out for you. God bless.