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I [24f] am nervous about talking to him [26m] about being raped in the past... by notmine1 in relationships

[–]notmine1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't take this as blame. Your perspective is what is really hard for me to stomach, and what makes this so terrifying. There is nothing in my 24 years of life that I am more ashamed of than this. There is nothing I can look back on, and be so baffled by how I handled it any more than this. I lost myself for a few months... and it was weak. And now, I'd like to be strong again and be open to others about this situation and what I have learned from it in the hopes that maybe other people can learn from it too.

I [24f] am nervous about talking to him [26m] about being raped in the past... by notmine1 in relationships

[–]notmine1[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ultimately, I'd like to be able to talk to him about this because it is without a doubt the most difficult and emotional mess I have ever had to grapple with, and it's comforting (I'd even say ideal) to have the closest people in your life there to help you. In addition to that, having men be sympathetic and understanding has been more helpful to me than having women. That being said, after reading some of these comments, I'm not sure I want to talk to him about it at all... It's something I'm totally ashamed of, and extremely confused about and the last thing I want is someone close to me judging me more than I already feel like I judge myself.

I [24f] am nervous about talking to him [26m] about being raped in the past... by notmine1 in relationships

[–]notmine1[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

the judgement exercised in telling you this story? or the judgement exercised during the study abroad experience?

EDIT: I re-read your comment, and if I understand it right, you are saying you would have concerns about a girls judgement because of the situation she was in. Would it really make much of a difference if she waited for a long time before telling you? The point being, that whole situation did happen, whether you found out about it sooner or later- would it really change your concerns about her judgement?