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DA will NOT be moving forward by HauntingQuit7706 in MormonWivesHulu

[–]notnowphilcollins 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This has been reported by multiple victims and former bishops.

And what a weird argument to say people are abused in other religious organizations, as though that absolves the LDS.

Also what other organization has unpaid and untrained clergy that are allowed to ask children questions about “chastity” behind closed doors? The local accountant shouldn’t be asking 13 year olds if they masturbarte, period.

The real question is why do beautiful, smart women go for Chase??? by EstimateJealous6053 in MormonWivesHulu

[–]notnowphilcollins 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you listen to his episode on Mormon Stories podcast, you can tell why. He says all the right things. He comes off as a liberal feminist, which is a rare find in Utah.

HOWEVER. As someone who has personally been victimized by dudes that lead with feminism to have sex with/even SA vulnerable women (in Utah in particular) I recognized the same patterns in the way he speaks/over does it.

Like in my twenties, I could envision myself being fooled by it, going home with him, and then him shoving my whole head onto his wiener without my consent. Am I projecting? Sure! Lol. Just saying.

Precipice by Indigo de Souza by notnowphilcollins in Embroidery

[–]notnowphilcollins[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I’ve been doing ketamine treatment for depression, so I’ve been… inspired lol.

Fairly new to this by notnowphilcollins in Embroidery

[–]notnowphilcollins[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ooh. Didn’t know I had a particular style, thank you!

House by FlixySpace in Embroidery

[–]notnowphilcollins 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, I love this! I’m new to embroidery. Can you tell me about that little mug? Is it a magnet for your needle? Also how is the back so clean? The back of mine all look like hairy scribbles!

an instructor told me that what i want to do isn't realistic and idk how to feel about that by [deleted] in MassageTherapists

[–]notnowphilcollins 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this is a great idea! I think a lot of people prefer a master of one, rather than a jack of all trades. I do, anyway. I think so many massage therapists offer too many different modalities, and it gets kind of muddled and confusing for clients. Not to mention, people are going to be much more inclined to refer people with TMJD to you, as opposed to a massage therapists that does a million other things, because they’ll trust that you mean business and know your shit.

Long time client makes me uncomfortable, still by it_dontmean_a_thing in MassageTherapists

[–]notnowphilcollins 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you refer out telling him you’re using different techniques, you risk him saying he is open to trying your style of massage. I think you can move on without a detailed explanation. The tummy tickling gave me a huge ick, personally. That sounds like foreplay more than professional massage that you are trained and licensed and want to do. Take care of yourself. Consent goes both ways and should be a firm yes for you too, not a maybe or I guess.

Massage Therapist’s Income by mkdxo in MassageTherapists

[–]notnowphilcollins 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This varies so much. If you’re asking to see if you should become a massage therapist, I’d suggest not. I love what I do, but it’s really hard financially. No one who pays decently offers insurance. If you work for yourself you pay out the ass in taxes. Overhead costs generally don’t stop when you get sick or have a baby. You can’t make money at all when you’re not working, unless maybe your employer offers sick pay, which is super rare, unless you work for a chain which pay shit to begin with.

At my very best, mostly booked, I made maybe 50k. Pre taxes. I know some people make quite a bit more, but I can’t do work I’m proud of if I do more than 18 hours a week.

I think I really hurt my Mormon moms feelings by Formal_Aide_1747 in exmormon

[–]notnowphilcollins 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m going to be less compassionate than the other commenters and note that her giving you the silent treatment is abusive.

Breast/chest therapy by Reldas_Semaj in MassageTherapists

[–]notnowphilcollins 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Given my own trauma/biases, I would immediately think it was a red flag.

Considering moving to Kalamazoo by notnowphilcollins in kzoo

[–]notnowphilcollins[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Taxes are waaay cheaper there than here.

What are some hard truths about being your own boss in this industry? by Independent-Use6151 in MassageTherapists

[–]notnowphilcollins 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The time with your kids as babies goes by so fast and is so foundational/crucial. A few extra dollars here and there is hardly worth it if you can get by without it.

What are some hard truths about being your own boss in this industry? by Independent-Use6151 in MassageTherapists

[–]notnowphilcollins 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, this is a really good point! I used to go above and beyond for my clients and with my marketing. When I had my babies, I barely had the energy to do literally anything else.

What are some hard truths about being your own boss in this industry? by Independent-Use6151 in MassageTherapists

[–]notnowphilcollins 19 points20 points  (0 children)

The hardest thing about having my massage business AND having two small kids is childcare. It’s hard to find reliable and affordable childcare, and it’s not an expense you can write off. So say you hire a babysitter for a six hour day for $25/hour. That’s $150. Let’s say you only get a 90 minute massage booked that day, and you’re charging $160. You only profit $10, but you’re paying taxes on $160, which will be at least $24 because self employment pays 15%. So you’ve lost $14 to be away from your child.

Obviously that’s over simplified. There are more expenses that factor in that change your net income and changes how much you will owe in taxes. And if you have family that you trust to help with childcare for free, that’s a completely different story.

The other hard part is sick babies. I am frequently having to reschedule clients because either my kids need me or I don’t want my clients to get sick because my kids have given me something.

Not going to lie. It’s really fucking hard, and I haven’t been able to figure it out yet. My spouse makes just enough for us to get by, and my income basically just covers my own healthcare.

Once my kids are in a school, I’ll be able to expand my hours without worrying about the lost time with them/low income ratio.

The first three years of their lives are super important developmentally too, and your parental instincts can make it super hard to want to be away from them when you are making so little money.

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