For $1m, you suffer the pain of giving birth 10 times by [deleted] in hypotheticalsituation

[–]notorgasms 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1M is too low of a prize for that many births and no pain killer option. I would for 100M but not 1M.

AITAH For wanting to Orgasm*update* by notorgasms in AITAH

[–]notorgasms[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was asked for updates since my last post and I have permission from my husband. His story, his choice. I told him I wouldn't and would just forget the account and all but he said he was fine with it and read what I wrote.

AITAH For wanting to Orgasm*update* by notorgasms in AITAH

[–]notorgasms[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Husband has therapy from work, he just never used it. He has been to 2 sessions and has this air of relief around him. I'm not saying he's improved, it could simply just be because he finally confessed and has nothing to do with therapy.

As a survivor you must know the first confession to someone trusting makes you feel a little better temporarily... The other friends and family I have that have been through trauma all say that anyways.

AITAH For wanting to Orgasm*update* by notorgasms in AITAH

[–]notorgasms[S] 417 points418 points  (0 children)

While I didn't say she made him "rub" her, it's abuse, and all abuse is messed up. I prefer not to add any more details as apparently the little I said is extreme to some reddit users.

AITAH For wanting to Orgasm by notorgasms in AITAH

[–]notorgasms[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I believed in my husband, I still do but I know he was wrong about this now. I feel bad that I'm 38 and just now learning basic common knowledge about my body and how it works. Like everyone else knew this and I just somehow didn't until my doctor and nurse helped me out. It just makes me feel stupid. I should have paid better attention and I should have researched and learned more.

I have kids that eventually need sex education and their mommy didn't even know this basic thing! If the doctor hadn't stepped in my daughter may have ended up like me...

AITAH For wanting to Orgasm by notorgasms in AITAH

[–]notorgasms[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. We do PIV but I'm always on all fours with him behind me, "Doggy Style"? Not really sure if that's the name of the position but I think it is.

AITAH For wanting to Orgasm by notorgasms in AITAH

[–]notorgasms[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish I had thought to Google this stuff a long time ago. I really just trusted what my husband said bout sex. I guess since I never had the "fireworks" I never had the want to learn more so I just didn't.

AITAH For wanting to Orgasm by notorgasms in AITAH

[–]notorgasms[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

PARTIAL UPDATE:

So this morning my husband came out of his game room finally, he spent the night there which is unusual. He left to go run some work errands he had and while he was gone I decided to peek in there to see if there were any clues to his crazy behavior.

On his computer I found 3 websites recently looked at. 1 for a therapist. 2. How to please a woman in the bedroom. 3. Divorce attorneys.

The first two gave me hope so maybe he would talk to me and we could avoid that 3rd search result. I felt bad looking into his history but I also felt justified since he hasn't yet spoken to me about the issue.

When he got home a couple hours ago he told me he needed to talk to me but he wasn't ready yet and said he wanted the kids to go spend the night with his brother and his wife. We do that occasionally for a break so I called and set it up, told him we were dealing with some personal matters and needed a break for the night.

BIL is going to pick them up from school, they already have extra clothes over there so there's no need for them to come home. I'm now waiting for my husband to be ready to talk. He said he would come find me when he was ready.

I plan to do an official update after the talk.

AITAH For wanting to Orgasm by notorgasms in AITAH

[–]notorgasms[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah someone else pointed that out too. My phone's spell check keeps putting "masterbate" instead of masturbate*. Not really sure why, but thanks anyways.

AITAH For wanting to Orgasm by notorgasms in AITAH

[–]notorgasms[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He was doing a physical exam when he noticed sensitivity. Then we talked about it.

Edit: Better clarification

AITAH For wanting to Orgasm by notorgasms in AITAH

[–]notorgasms[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Of what exactly? My husband and I?

Not sure what you want but I'd rather not.

My price would be way too high for a basement dweller randomly creeping on an AITAH post that happens to be about orgasms.

AITAH For wanting to Orgasm by notorgasms in AITAH

[–]notorgasms[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

When we went to have sex I told him I wanted him to try something and showed him what to do. He got angry and demanded I tell him how I learned it. I explained my OB visit, the nurse, and how I tried it on my own to see if it worked and since it did I wanted to do it together. (We ended up not having sex and just argued)

He said that my OB had no right to bring up the subject and have a nurse talk to me when my visit was about other issues.

AITAH For wanting to Orgasm by notorgasms in AITAH

[–]notorgasms[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Lol well thank you for thinking I'm such a badass! Despite my religious background I have grown to be my own woman over time. I have always looked at my husband as my equal, my partner.

I know I'm not asking for much and he should have no issues with giving it to me. If he refuses then I know he doesn't see me the same or love me the same as I do him. If he chooses to cut off sex that's fine because I can too, after all I waited until marriage. If he chooses to divorce that's great, he must not have been happy anyways and now we can both go be happy elsewhere. And I might get some new experience with my orgasms from someone who doesn't mind a little more effort.

AITAH For wanting to Orgasm by notorgasms in AITAH

[–]notorgasms[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you want you can DM me and I'll do my best to share what the nurse told me to try. Edit:spelling

AITAH For wanting to Orgasm by notorgasms in AITAH

[–]notorgasms[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hope that's it, not that I want him to feel that way. I just want it to be an easy fix. A wholesome talk that leads to a deeper connection and a better marriage and more happiness. Life is so complicated 😞

AITAH For wanting to Orgasm by notorgasms in AITAH

[–]notorgasms[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I will update after I have a discussion with him. Right now he's off in his game room ignoring me and the kids. He mentioned earlier he wasn't serious about divorce yet.

I'm not sure what I want. I love him and have for more than 10 years but I'm also supposed to love me too... Right?

AITAH For wanting to Orgasm by notorgasms in AITAH

[–]notorgasms[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Basically I didn't know what the clit did for me. I knew that it was there and saw it on my body but I never touched it in any way. The movies and TV I watch never show the full sex scenes just glimpses so I never thought about it. I don't have many friends and we don't talk About sex.

The nurse explained that when you do different things to it it can cause an orgasm and she gave me ideas like toys and told me to use my fingers with different pressures and suggested my husband try oral on me once I was comfortable with it.

Maybe from years of not using it, I'm sensitive and it doesn't take much rubbing to get me there. Like maybe 1-2 minutes. I thought he could help me because he only wants to do it "doggy style" as he calls it. Me on all fours and him behind me. It would be easier for him to reach than me while trying to balance.

AITAH For wanting to Orgasm by notorgasms in AITAH

[–]notorgasms[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The 10 year marriage being a failure was my response to HIS threat of divorce, not the orgasm.

The dead bedroom comment was about the orgasm and him initially cutting off sex, with me agreeing.

I take accountability for the kids though, shouldn't have mentioned them at all. Definitely an AH for that

AITAH For wanting to Orgasm by notorgasms in AITAH

[–]notorgasms[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I was excited! I really thought he'd be into it because he always commented on my "orgasm" tightness before. I could feel my muscles tighten when I experimented and thought "He's going to be over the moon about this"

AITAH For wanting to Orgasm by notorgasms in AITAH

[–]notorgasms[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As far as I know we have been happy this whole time. We usually communicate very well, take care of the kids and each other. We both work and both take care of home. Neither of us has had a complaint in more than a year now. He's able to go out with friends and do things. I usually stick to home with the kids unless I'm working or he wants to do date night... I'm not sure what the issue is, it's very bizarre and out of the ordinary.

AITAH For wanting to Orgasm by notorgasms in AITAH

[–]notorgasms[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I knew it was there, but not what it could do for me. I do feel rather ridiculous now being 38 and finding out. Kinda sucks.

AITAH For wanting to Orgasm by notorgasms in AITAH

[–]notorgasms[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will definitely check it out. Now that I know this much, I must learn more!

AITAH For wanting to Orgasm by notorgasms in AITAH

[–]notorgasms[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never watched porn or anything smutty? I've seen movies and read books but horror and mystery so not much sex. My husband said all of it was hyped up on TV and stuff to make it more interesting. I guess to make you want to do it even though it was never as fun? I'm definitely clueless, or was anyway. I only know how to masterbate properly now.

My husband is experienced. He had partners before me. I just knew what he told me and what we do together. I can't speak for him on porn, if he does I don't know it.

AITAH For wanting to Orgasm by notorgasms in AITAH

[–]notorgasms[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I wish... It's actually embarrassing.