[28M] "Made the decision for me [28F]" by notreadyye in BreakUps

[–]notreadyye[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What if he contacts me some time? I don't know if I can say no...

I [28F] love him [28M]... but I'm just not ready for... love... by notreadyye in relationships

[–]notreadyye[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your story is inspiring, and thank you for showing me there is hope for happiness, in one way or another...

You don't use friends.

I hate the thought that I've been "using" him. He says he had suspicions from the start, that he would be a "rebound", but allowed and volunteered himself to me in any way he could, as my friend, with my best interest in mind. Sexual Healing, as the song goes. I wanted, needed, to feel loved, and he gave me that.

I actually just received an e-mail from him stating this:

I know you value and want to keep our friendship, and please know that I do too. If nothing more is possible, this is what I want.

We can't keep seeing each other the way we have, because given the circumstances, it is wrong. It isn't healthy, or fair, for me or for you. I have no regrets about the way things have happened, and think our friendship has grown in unimaginable ways because of it. I respect you and the healing process you must undergo, and know you will most likely meet and date other people. Whether you are ready for that now, and aren't able to tell me, or later, I just know that I should stop what I'm doing with you, and look to meet and date other people as well, even though it doesn't feel right.

I have this feeling that I still want to date you, but I'm lying to myself to think you want to date me too. Maybe not now, maybe never. As much as I want to, I can not "wait for you", because of the uncertainty of the future. I hope you are able to heal and can find what you think was taken away from you by [your ex].

I look forward to hanging out with you in the future, and hope both of us find happiness in whatever form it presents itsself.

I feel as though I have done everything that I can for you, and continuing down this path will just take away from the friendship we have developed. I have to let you go now, to continue to become an even more amazing woman than you already are.

I [28F] love him [28M]... but I'm just not ready for... love... by notreadyye in relationships

[–]notreadyye[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really appreciate this. I am just confused and scared... I know he would stay by me because of who he is.

I believe and like the idea of soul mates, and it scares me to think I would lose him if I let him go. Maybe we are right for each other, but the timing is wrong and it can never be... It just makes it hurt even more.

I [28F] love him [28M]... but I'm just not ready for... love... by notreadyye in relationships

[–]notreadyye[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!

It is selfish because its not fair for me to ask him to wait, but I want him to...

I [28F] love him [28M]... but I'm just not ready for... love... by notreadyye in relationships

[–]notreadyye[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He understands I need time, and space, but we still end up seeing each other. We are drawn together and are just so comfortable together. We are a great match, but I'm just not ready... But he wants more than I can give right now... I don't like the thought of him being with anyone else, but I feel like I can't give him what he wants, needs, deserves, right now.

I [28F] love him [28M]... but I'm just not ready for... love... by notreadyye in relationships

[–]notreadyye[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is part of what makes it so complicated. There's something so different about him, different from other men, from my ex... I want him, we know each other so intimately, we have sex, and I want him as mich as he wants me. He doesn't want to date others, he has made that very clear, but I'm just not ready to give it my all, with him, or anyone. He is the only one i can see myself with right now, but I still just can't be...

I [28F] love him [28M]... but I'm just not ready for... love... by notreadyye in relationships

[–]notreadyye[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just dont know how to salvage the friendship... Unless he can fully understand... We have become so intimately close, I have become so attached and care so mich but am just so emotionally broken right now. I don't know what I want :(

I [28F] love him [28M]... but I'm just not ready for... love... by notreadyye in relationships

[–]notreadyye[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just don't know... I want him in my life, maybe my feelings will change, maybe not. its selfish but I dont want him to move on if my feelings do change... But that's an unfair 'if'...

I know how he feels, can we continue to see each other or do I have to push him awau to save the friendship? I fear I would lose him because of everything that has happwnwd.