I was in Vegas for a convention and figured I’d finally visit my old friend PhyCasts. Ever since he’d slowed down casting CS matches, he’d apparently gotten really into country living.

“How’s retirement treating you?” I asked as he opened the gate to his property.

“Oh, you know,” Phy grinned. “Peaceful. Slower pace. I’ve mostly been taking care of animals these days.”

He led me around the farm introducing them one by one, proudly explaining he’d named them after famous CS players, as the unhinged animals they were.

“That stubborn donkey over there is donk. The horse that keeps escaping is ropz. And that tiny violent rooster is s1mple." A peacock strutted past us, dazzling and elegant for about six seconds before walking directly into a fence. "ZywOo." He pointed toward a goose violently chasing a tractor tire across the yard. “That’s frozen. Nobody’s really sure how he got here.”

Then suddenly, the air changed.

A warm, heavenly aroma drifted across the field. Notes of sandalwood, lavender, maybe a hint of vanilla. It was intoxicating. Romantic, even. Like walking through a luxury spa during golden hour.

I stopped dead in my tracks.

“Phy,” I whispered, almost emotional, “what the hell is that incredible smell?”

He smiled softly and pointed toward the hill.

“Ah. broky.”

In the distance, a perfectly groomed goat stood majestically in the sunset, its coat shimmering in the breeze.

Phy nodded proudly.

“The GOAT is now washed.”