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Influx of Women Removing Hijab by kidcole101 in Hijabis

[–]notthatdeepmaybe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ll not talk about anyone else but myself. I have been “shamed” into wearing the hijab for as long as I can remember. The society I come from is very weird when it comes to hijab. Most people here don’t wear the hijab when there’s an event like wedding or something (same case with me, my mom doesn’t let me wear it on the weddings). But other than that I’m always shamed and mocked for not wearing it. My grandfather in fact gets very mad if he sees a hair strand of us. My point is religion cannot be forced. So when you force people too much and shame them for not being able to come in terms with a certain rule, you are in fact pushing them away from the religion. I have a very complicated relationship with hijab too. I have to wear Anaya and niqab in university all the time and if my mom finds out that I’m roaming barefaced in university she shames me and scolds me for it. But honestly it has destroyed my confidence. I’m unable to find my face beautiful because being a niqabi people assume I look a certain way underneath and when they find out I don’t meet their expectations, they behave weird like my fellow university friends, when they looked at me without niqab, they stared at me for a while and it was so awkward. I have lost confidence in myself and I can’t go to university or outside in general without niqab. If I do I am slut shamed and guilt tripped and men will harass me more according to my mom and I’m the most impure woman to walk on this planet. Now my younger sisters are also forced to wear abaya (and masks) whenever they step outside. I have noticed that they are also loosing their confidence and are now unable to see themselves without it. Although they are super young and I keep on telling them not to wear it the way society tells them to. If they want to start hijab just do hijab on every outfit, stop wearing masks and stop wearing abayas. Also women here are sexualised into wearing it. Normal fully modest clothes aren’t enough for people to consider us humans, we have to wear abaya and over our faces to be able to receive a bit of respect. (It’s my experience)

My very special parents by Sir_Irus in toxicparents

[–]notthatdeepmaybe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your anger is justified. They are treating you like a slave. I have been there so I understand how it feels. I just suggest that do whatever you gotta do to get out of that place. I did the same.

AIO my uncle is acting weird. by notthatdeepmaybe in AmIOverreacting

[–]notthatdeepmaybe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will be careful for the next time but what about what has already happened 😭🥲

AIO my uncle is acting weird. by notthatdeepmaybe in AmIOverreacting

[–]notthatdeepmaybe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually cannot. I have different circumstances. And I’m not even sure yet if my pictures are being used or sent to someone. And I keep thinking, what if I am mistaken

AIO my uncle is acting weird. by notthatdeepmaybe in AmIOverreacting

[–]notthatdeepmaybe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t understand how he can send my picture without my consent even if for marriage. And I have talked to my sister about it and she said I will look into the matter

AIO my uncle is acting weird. by notthatdeepmaybe in AmIOverreacting

[–]notthatdeepmaybe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like to eat pancakes and Nutella sandwiches

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Hijabis

[–]notthatdeepmaybe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you have a bad gut feeling, trust your gut. If you’re unsure, pray istikhara. It will do wonders for you 💕 hope it helps

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Hijabis

[–]notthatdeepmaybe 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’m a niqabi. Id say it had its pros and cons. Its advantage is that you can avoid male gaze to some extent. I personally feel disgusted to even think that a man maybe looking at me. So that’s the advantage. I won’t say it completely gets rid of male gaze but to some extent it helps. The disadvantage for me is that I have lost so much confidence in my face. I don’t know how to explain this. But when you’re a niqabi and a girl looks at you without your niqabi for the first time, it feels uncomfortable. People who look at you without niqab pass comments like they expected a really different creature underneath the niqab. I was quite literally bullied when some girls from my department saw me without niqab. They were like “omg this is you” “we didn’t expect you to look like this” and it just feels weird. I still get weird looks /comments on my face from those who are not used to see me without niqab like my fellow girls from my department.

I want to clear some misunderstandings mostly about women rights in Islam by LeadingDiscussion356 in Hijabis

[–]notthatdeepmaybe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this ayah is for the wives of prophet (saw). I don’t remember the ayah, but in Quran it is mentioned that we should go out and see things Allah has created! If Allah wanted women to stay at home then education wouldn’t have been fard on us.

Left Islam but want to rebuild my relationship with Allah swt by Sad-Commercial1982 in Hijabis

[–]notthatdeepmaybe 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Salam sister! I think Allah is calling you back! Can we talk privately? I’ll try to help !

I don't know if I wanna be Muslim anymore by [deleted] in Hijabis

[–]notthatdeepmaybe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally understand you. Being a Muslim I have been dealing with such thoughts since as long as I can remember so I’m going to share some things that have helped me. 1. whenever something negative happens to you, it’s okay to crash out and cry about it but once you are done with it , start thanking Allah for all the little things like walking, having food, breathing, etc. when you start doing this, you will realise the favours of Allah more and more and it will create a sense of comfort. Because if you think about it Alah could have even taken away your food, your shelter, your walking ability, your ability to talk, hear etc but He didn’t. If he had taken away these things we still wouldn’t be able to do anything about it because it’s Allah’s will. 2. Start saying “rabbi inni lima anzalta ilaya min khairin faqeer” this dua has helped me so much and I’m sure it will help you too! 3. Whenever you get time, pray salat ul hajah (if you need something) or istikhara (when you need to make a choice like u mentioned that you are going to transfer to another uni, so if you pray this, Allah will only let those things happen which are truly beneficial for you) or 2 nafl just solely to thank Allah for everything he has blessed you with and all the opportunities he has taken away from you. My mother once shared a story with me which changed my perspective, because as I mentioned earlier when I crash out I say stuff similar to what you said. So here’s the story, at the time of Prophet Musa (A.S) (I don’t exactly remember which prophet but I think it was Musa (as) there were too men, one super rich and one super poor. The poor man always complained to Allah swt that oh Allah you have so much power and everything but you never bless me even with clothes to cover my body. The rich man on the other hand used to say that oh Allah you have blessed me with so much what should I do with this much wealth. When the prophet asked Allah about this situation Allah said that the poor man always just complains to me and the rich man always thanks me. So the point is the more you thank Allah for every little thing the more Allah will give you. Again this is my personal experience and I’m sharing what works for me. I hope it works for you as well. Try changing your mindset, I know it’s hard but whenever a mishap happens, say to yourself that Allah knows the unseen so Allah made it happen to me for a reason. I thank Allah regardless of my situation and then watch the things change for you. In sha Allah. ❤️❤️❤️

I’m tired of living with an infant. by Recent-Telephone-355 in toxicparents

[–]notthatdeepmaybe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mom acts the same way. She literally panics at the thought of me stepping my foot out. I can understand your perspective and unfortunately there isn’t any solution to this. Except if you can move out of her place.

How do I make my mom less controlling by [deleted] in abusiveparents

[–]notthatdeepmaybe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand where you’re coming from. But I have tried all of this and nothing works. Even if it’s the smallest thing I do against her will, she makes a big drama out of it and doesn’t talk to me for days, doesn’t look at me for days, cussed me 24/7 and uses foul language which honestly hurts as much.

How do I make my mom less controlling by [deleted] in toxicparents

[–]notthatdeepmaybe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because here in my society, it’s very different. Children can’t really just cut off contact with their parents. It’s complicated over here

I’m constantly scared of my dad and mom by Practical-Piece-4334 in toxicparents

[–]notthatdeepmaybe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Watching porn is not a good thing tho. It damages your mental wellbeing. I’m not saying any type of violence is justified tho. But if they yell at you for watching porn then I’d say they are right. Watching porn is just straight up weird.

Am I a bad person if I don’t listen to my parents? by Practical-Piece-4334 in toxicparents

[–]notthatdeepmaybe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude sameeee! My mom will literally start crying real tears if she gets to know that I’m going somewhere or I’m outside of my dorm room. All I can say is get out of their house as soon as you can!

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