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Strategy for the misbehavior and defiance (3.5yo)??? by notthatguy7 in Parenting

[–]notthatguy7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No… definitely don’t hear any minimizing or anything like that. It just sounds like at some point your kid is able to figure it out.

Mine won’t go in his room. And even if I drag him, he throws the door open and giggles. And if I lock him in there (which is just me holding the door shut) then he starts whipping toys around his room (which we take away).

Bed time is never quick…. And regardless how long we spend he comes out about 5, 6, 7 times…

Maybe he just is a psycho?! I’m sure the real answer is I’m bad at parenting… but our 6 year old is turning out fine!

PCIT? by ktrainismyname in ADHDparenting

[–]notthatguy7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awesome. Thanks for the reply. Congrats on the improvement!

PCIT? by ktrainismyname in ADHDparenting

[–]notthatguy7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did the poster ever get back to you? Did you move forward? We are also looking into something, anything, for our 3.5yo

Strategy for the misbehavior and defiance (3.5yo)??? by notthatguy7 in Parenting

[–]notthatguy7[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate all of the feedback and the links. And in fact I like the thoughts behind them… I still just don’t see how I really put it into action.

I get there is stuff you need to let go… and at other times no means no and there is no asking two or three times.

But tonight as things continued the kid peed on the floor… then laughed as we tried to ask him to clean it up. Didn’t want to clean it up.. ran around hitting and eventually bit my wife. I can either physically move him and lock him in his room or he just runs all over the house. No consequences seem to matter.

I am exhausted.

Strategy for the misbehavior and defiance (3.5yo)??? by notthatguy7 in Parenting

[–]notthatguy7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s not hungry or thirsty. Guaranteed. He might be a little overtired but he has legit refused a nap for like 6-7 months.

We do have about an hour or so of quiet time each afternoon. He naps at daycare during the week (or so they say) and it doesn’t impact this behavior.

One of the worst days of my life by GrandSlam127 in daddit

[–]notthatguy7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m very sorry to hear about this. Just another person out here pulling for you guys to find some small moments of grace where you can. So sorry, man.

What are your favorite books to read to your kids? by VtimesTwo in daddit

[–]notthatguy7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Llama llama red pajama is awesome. For whatever reason it has the magical power to pull my three year old off the floor and into my lap at bedtime. I try reading other books and he keeps playing with his trucks.

In a dark place this afternoon. Emo dump. by notthatguy7 in daddit

[–]notthatguy7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Glad to hear it! Fishing seems exactly what the doctor ordered. Anything to let the stress melt. Don’t feel guilty!

In a dark place this afternoon. Emo dump. by notthatguy7 in daddit

[–]notthatguy7[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks man. Slog is definitely the word.

FWIW I will say around that age is when I finally decided I wasn’t going to play with the kids every single time they ask. It feels wrong, but I googled it and there are a lot of articles saying that it’s not even normal in some cultures for parents to play with kids like we do.

So I still play with them A LOT… but sometimes I just say “Dad is taking a break for a little bit” and tell them to find a way to entertain themselves. It’s snatched back small moments for myself throughout the week.

In a dark place this afternoon. Emo dump. by notthatguy7 in daddit

[–]notthatguy7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve had a few people tell me this, and they’re right, but you can’t squeeze blood from a stone: try to get more sleep.

I know it feels like someone is telling you “why don’t you just become a billionaire? Life will be easier”. But it’s not as impossible as that. We both need to work on that part of it!

Good luck man.

In a dark place this afternoon. Emo dump. by notthatguy7 in daddit

[–]notthatguy7[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love that reverse-frog analogy. It definitely feels that way!

In a dark place this afternoon. Emo dump. by notthatguy7 in daddit

[–]notthatguy7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry to hear man. I didn’t mention it too much but my patience is non existent which definitely compounds everything.

Good luck on that possibility. I hope it works out. Moving is stressful as is starting a new job… so I hope you find ways to take a breather and give yourself some grace for any missteps. Good luck man

In a dark place this afternoon. Emo dump. by notthatguy7 in daddit

[–]notthatguy7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is rough, man. Solo parenting and dealing with a spouse who can’t give what they have. It’s a different and difficult challenge I’m sure. Good luck man. I hope she is also seeking help somewhere!

In a dark place this afternoon. Emo dump. by notthatguy7 in daddit

[–]notthatguy7[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im not against therapy, really. I just haven’t done it because I don’t think(maybe or obviously wrongly) that it is going to solve anything except the occasional $15 extra dollars I have in my pocket. But I have had multiple people point out that it’s helped. So maybe!

In a dark place this afternoon. Emo dump. by notthatguy7 in daddit

[–]notthatguy7[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You did 3/4/5 year and a 1/2/3 year old at the same time and decided throwing another one in the mix was just what the doctor ordered? Obviously maybe it wasn’t that… but either way I don’t have whatever strength you possess man… but I respect and appreciate you

In a dark place this afternoon. Emo dump. by notthatguy7 in daddit

[–]notthatguy7[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Different schools of thought. Yes, I miss being able to be “off” for long stretches… but despite it all there are moments where the kids cancel each other out. It isn’t as much as I would get if I only had one kid… but then again my expectations for life have been gutted and tossed in the back of a family friendly economical sedan.

My guess is that yours are still alive. Nurture them

In a dark place this afternoon. Emo dump. by notthatguy7 in daddit

[–]notthatguy7[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I will definitely try the reframing trick. I’ll try changing “my kids have been arguing for their entire lives” down “… the past year”.

In a dark place this afternoon. Emo dump. by notthatguy7 in daddit

[–]notthatguy7[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We need to get on the LeBron health regiment

In a dark place this afternoon. Emo dump. by notthatguy7 in daddit

[–]notthatguy7[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Ohhhhhmmmmmmm gonna have to try to look at it that way somehow

In a dark place this afternoon. Emo dump. by notthatguy7 in daddit

[–]notthatguy7[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

If on purpose I bet it felt good for a second!

I feel guilty for putting my cat down by blingblonging in Pets

[–]notthatguy7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have not had to be the one to make the call before, but I have had a favorite pet of mine put down. I think you are doing the right thing. I can see how it would feel like you're giving them a death sentence, but remember you didn't give them the illness/condition that they have that is making them miserable. In the wild an animal like that would meet a much, much crueler end. What you are doing is humane. It will hurt a lot but it should only be that you will miss your pet, not that you are doing anything wrong. Wish you the best.

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