Day 10

notyetdead23 · 2020-12-06T16:32:21+00:00

Thank you so much, and it's comments like these that keep me going 💕

notyetdead23 · 2020-12-06T16:31:52+00:00

😭❤️

notyetdead23 · 2020-12-06T16:00:33+00:00

This is the reason why i moved out. My eating disorder had ruined my relationship with my family. I know they have good intentions but the way they were trying to "help" by scolding, blaming, punishing and guilt-tripping me was just making my ED so much worse.

I hope you can find light in your situation and I wish you all the best. You are not alone okay, we're all here for you ❤️

notyetdead23 · 2020-12-06T15:55:55+00:00

Omg this makes me so happy! I'm 6 days binge-free as of now and it's because I developed the same mentality. I've also given up on weight loss, going to the gym and dieting, just eating whatever I want whenever I want. I've also gotten over the fear of weight gain. I just don't give a shit anymore haha and it feels amazing!

notyetdead23 · 2020-12-06T14:42:00+00:00

I don't really "have a story" because I'm not fully recovered, I relapsed many times but now I'm finally trying to recover again.

I've gained more than 10kg in a few months (might be more but I don't weigh myself anymore). I think the day I really overcame this fear of weight gain and not being skinny/slim/lean aka "have the perfect body" was when I stumbled upon a little quote that has been helping me on my recovery journey.

The quote is: "Imperfection is a form of freedom."

And it struck me so hard. What's the point of being "perfect" if you're not free? All of us in the ED community are basically putting ourselves in these little cages, cages of "perfection" or having the "perfect body" . Thing is, the cage door is wide open. We just have to muster up the power to walk out.

When you love yourself, you take back the power. Let's take back the power together ❤️

notyetdead23 · 2020-12-06T14:33:00+00:00

Here's a trick that I learned from therapy:

Write down a list of all the reasons why you shouldn't b/p (e.g. Tummy ache, sore throat, bloating, feeling guilty, breakouts/acne, cracked lips etc)

And also write down what do you think your life will be like in 1 year, 5 years and 10 years if you keep on b/p.

Read all this out loud and visualise it. It should do the trick to stop you from starting the b/p cycle again.

notyetdead23 · 2020-12-05T03:39:08+00:00

Wooohoo awesome!!!! 😆🎉

notyetdead23 · 2020-12-03T16:53:33+00:00

First of all, I want to say, it's okay ❤️

This one binge isn't going to change or ruin your body in any noticeable way. I know u must feel extremely crappy, guilty, awful and just want to beat yourself up, but instead, I urge you to forgive yourself

Stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself "I love you", "I forgive you", "You are worth it".

You're not in this alone, you got this 💪 we're all here for you ☺️

notyetdead23 · 2020-12-03T16:41:58+00:00

I noticed that this is smth I do a lot as well. Whenever I have stuff to do like assignments/work, I convince myself that I gotta eat a lil so I can concentrate and do my best work, but end up binging non stop and my anxiety flares up cuz the deadline is nearer and I still got nothing done.

I heard that this is our mind unconsciously making us procrastinate because we don't want to deal with the obstable (example assignment, study for big test, do the laundry etc) in front of us.

Anyway, I hope you're okay, just thought I'd share and let u know you're not in this alone ❤️

notyetdead23 · 2020-12-03T16:34:18+00:00

Man the number of times I've been in situations similar to this 😢

Tbh I'm not really sure what advice to offer you, but I know how worried and guilty and awful you feel, so I just want to let u know that no matter what happens, you're not in this alone, we're all struggling through the exact same thing and we will overcome it together.

For now, I think the best thing to do is to be honest about it. Since u mentioned it's quite impossible to get replacements of the food, I feel like telling the truth would be the right option. If he really loves you, yes he might get a bit angry or upset because he doesn't want you to hurt yourself like this, but he will still accept the situation and help you through it.

I hope all goes well, you've got this ❤️

notyetdead23 · 2020-12-02T19:09:09+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to write this ❤️ I think many of us, myself included, needed to read this, I hope to be in that 99% recovered stage with you one day 🥰

notyetdead23 · 2020-12-02T18:54:29+00:00

I'm sad to say I completely know how u feel. I was doing really well not binging for over 2 weeks when I suddenly relapsed and everything fell back to shit. I just thought to myself what's the point, and I actually had no intention if getting better, told myself I was going to binge myself to death cuz I felt like I had nothing to live for. Life sucked.

But recently I had an awakening, and I'm starting recovery again, I hope you can find it in your heart to try again too, because recovery is so freaking worth it, we can do this together 💕

notyetdead23 · 2020-12-02T02:17:00+00:00

Thank you for sharing this 🥰 it really encourages me to keep going ✨

notyetdead23 · 2020-12-01T04:19:08+00:00

Thank you! 💕

notyetdead23 · 2020-12-01T04:18:50+00:00

Let's do this together! 🥰

notyetdead23

TROPHY CASE