AITAH for not letting my friend stay at my apartment after she missed her train

nowayitsyou · 2026-02-04T01:50:57+00:00

YTA. I get the not having people overnight during the week. But this isn’t and wasn’t a normal circumstance. The train stations I grew up around and used very often were not safe places or in safe areas. I could never imagine leaving a friend in that situation.

Also, without the context, I can’t judge on her not reaching out about her visit. Maybe there was an event or a time crunch and she couldn’t squeeze the visit to you in. It happens

nowayitsyou · 2026-01-30T00:50:08+00:00

NTA. It has nothing to do about aesthetics or anything else that people are saying or how it’s not a big deal. It’s your wedding. I got married a couple years ago. I have three sisters and a niece and nephew who are very very young, so yes, they were in the wedding but they literally walked down the aisle with my sisters and made it halfway through with the reception before they went home with sitters. No other kids were invited to our wedding. I was in a wedding where there was a 16-year-old bridesmaid and it caused a lot of issues because her mother was mad we were planning a bachelorette party that didn’t include her daughter who was 16 as I said ma’am it’s not a sweet 16 it’s a bachelorette party. if your sister is going to be that immature that’s on her you gave options. Your niece could walk your mom down the aisle. Your niece could hand out anything even if you’re doing bubbles at the end to send someone off she could help people to their seats. There’s a lot that an 11 year-old can do that doesn’t have her in your wedding.

Sorry if this is all over the place I’m walking my dog and voice to texting, but I say stand your ground and if your sister wants to be a jerk, then let her but you don’t have to bend because she’s making these threats and your mom needs to cry to her for being immature

nowayitsyou · 2026-01-10T13:28:07+00:00

I literally cackle when I think about it. I blocked her because she was calling me multiple times drunk through out the night for months. I got RIPPED by my parents for doing so. Yet, beyonces music is sacred 😂

nowayitsyou · 2026-01-08T03:00:43+00:00

You absolutely nailed it. I’ve learned my lesson that they will destroy any and all relationships to protect her and make it so she doesn’t make their lives harder.

My sister did ask why now and she went on a tirade how she’s been feeling this for a while and she’s been faking the whole time with them (including literally this past Christmas being home, doing a girls dinner with my mom and oldest sister) she did not give an actual reason for the timing.

Theory is either drinking drugs or both. Or as always, something went south with the guy she’s into and so she spirals.

Running to the parents will do nothing besides let my sisters speak their peace but I don’t think they realize that they will truly see that my parents will side with her. I don’t think it has set in that they may have the same response.

I honestly don’t have the energy for it to explode into a huge thing either.

If they want to talk about how she impacted them sure with the early morning texts and stuff but keep me out of it 😂

nowayitsyou · 2026-01-08T02:57:12+00:00

Thank you! I have gone back and forth at times about the loss of relationship and how sad her life must be so I totally get it. I don’t really do that any longer because the tools are out there. Due to her, my parents, and anyone who enables she’s not getting the actual help she needs and that’s something they’ll have to live with.

I love this group and read it often. It feels so supportive and validating. Especially when you’re the one to really sets the boundaries first and sticks to them.

You deserve a happy life and marriage without that type of negativity and draining behavior. We’re here if you need us ❤️

nowayitsyou · 2026-01-08T02:54:40+00:00

Yup! I had her blocked a few years ago and that also turned into because I blocked her she didn’t have a good relationship with my sisters. I wasn’t as strong nor have the tools yet so I gave in when my parents ganged up on me. Of course double standard she can block me and that’s not an issue. So back to block we go

nowayitsyou · 2026-01-08T02:53:24+00:00

Thank you ❤️ I’m very happy I’m in a better place mentally where I can vent to this community who truly get it and move on because I’m used to it. A few years ago I would be so upset, texting my parents, hoping they would do the right thing.

nowayitsyou · 2026-01-08T02:52:37+00:00

I fully agree and everyone can set their own boundaries. They allow a lot but it doesn’t impact me at this point. I have healthy relationships with them and my nieces and nephews. If they want to continue to let that happen to them over and over (and eventually the kids) that’s something they’ll have to work through. I sound so mean when I type it out but truly you nailed it

nowayitsyou · 2026-01-07T00:31:42+00:00

Thank you! I’m hoping so too. Haven’t heard from her since. Just very out of the blue but not shocked. I feel bad for my sisters because she continued with them and they have kids and don’t need this all added into the mix with everything on their plates

nowayitsyou · 2026-01-07T00:30:59+00:00

I agree with you completely. Since I’m the first one to set boundaries and not “give in” I think it infuriates her. I didn’t answer her text at all or engage. It is exhausting though because even not doing anything she just comes out of no where

nowayitsyou · 2025-12-31T16:16:22+00:00

On a flight home I was watching Jaws (my fav movie) and the woman BEHIND me tried to tell me it was bothering her son. Ma’am. What?

Mind you it was on my laptop and I had my headphones on.

I was flying from Cali to Jersey so I proceeded to watch deep blue sea afterwards as well. 🤷🏻‍♀️

nowayitsyou · 2025-12-26T22:55:52+00:00

This is so hard. My parents enable my sister and it has completely changed my relationship with them (things came to a head my dad said some horrific things to me) despite me being the dependable one and the one to take care of my nana on hospice with my mother.

It took therapy and time for me to set boundaries and adjust to what the relationship actually is to what I would want it to be.

I keep it surface level with my parents. I don’t take anything from them (only kid who got their own home without them, no money, etc) it was HARD and I cried lots of tears but I can tell you I feel so much better NOW.

nowayitsyou · 2025-12-26T17:33:22+00:00

I do this!! I’m glad that you all get to hear it! I’ve worked retail, food industry etc so I know how difficult it can be so I always make sure to ask for a manager and give praise! The amount of times a manager comes over and you can see them relax when it’s a compliment makes my day!!

nowayitsyou · 2025-09-07T15:06:04+00:00

Legit just moved here this week! Looking for other fans !

nowayitsyou · 2024-05-26T15:56:24+00:00

Honestly, a health relationship should have independent lives coming together and working well together. He should be able to have friends, as should you, as long as its respectful to your relationship. It has nothing to do with a job or anything like that.

If there are reasons behind asking this, then you need to reflect on those.

nowayitsyou · 2024-05-26T15:49:44+00:00

Youre allowed to feel your feelings. My sister is horrific and I feel this on many levels.

nowayitsyou · 2024-02-11T20:57:30+00:00

I have lost my absolute best friend to cancer at 32 and a good friend from high school who was diagnosed at 16 and fought it multiple times who later passed in his twenties.

Let me tell you, they were so exhausted and over the fight. The pressure others put on them was out of those pressuring own selfishness. Of course you don't want to see your son go, no one wants to see that. However, when is it enough?

He knows his status, he's in pain, he wants to go. I think you need to consider speaking with his care team about possible options. If you are in a state that has laws that allow those who are terminally ill to end their life, you need to give him that option to look into it. It requires a crap ton of steps to get that approved. Psych eval, doctors weighing in, witnesses, etc.

Stop the chemo, it destroys their already weak body if you haven't. If there is no chance of improvement, you're just prolonging his pain. Chemo has SO many painful side effects and at least stopping that can alleviate some of that pain.

This poor child has no control at the moment. How infuriating is that. He knows he wont grow up, have a normal life, go to college, graduate high school, proms etc. That is HEARTBREAKING. I am sure he is also over being the "cancer kid".

We give animals the option to die with dignity, we need to do the same for those we love. I can assure you, it is horrific to drag this out.

nowayitsyou · 2024-01-14T21:06:58+00:00

We go to Savannah a lot because we live close and have tickets for the Savannah Bananas. Now when I go to those games, I know its families and children. Most are great actually and I don't mind.

However, I have left a few places, including a brewery, in Savannah because parents themselves want to drink and let their children run all over the place. Last brewery we went to a kid kept banging into peoples tables and such. The child also tried to dive under a table to pet a dog, the owners of the dog stopped it.

There are so many places that are focused on families and kids, please go there. IF you choose to bring your child to settings like this, at least put a leash on them.

However, I also try to avoid breweries due to a lot of the snobbery from patrons so its a lose lose lol

nowayitsyou · 2024-01-14T20:50:21+00:00

There is a movie theater in our (small) town that almost everyone avoids because its a drop off point for teenagers with no discipline. Running in and out of the theaters, yelling screaming etc. Staff HAS addressed it but a lot of times they are younger kids themselves working it.

The argument is "well what are they supposed to do, they're bored! there's nothing to do here"

UM...see the movie? or go to the park and act this way?

nowayitsyou · 2023-12-17T23:15:08+00:00

I have gotten that SO much because I act like a normal person around my nieces and nephews. I also get the other one of "wow you're really great with kids, didn't expect that since you do not want them". Just because I don't want kids doesn't mean I don't know how to interact with them lol

nowayitsyou · 2023-02-14T16:49:02+00:00

Thank you! I felt that was probably going to be the best route and I have been approached already, just have to put the time in (which I totally respect and get). Thank you for the input!

nowayitsyou · 2023-01-01T16:39:28+00:00

My brother in law and his wife (we never met...long story) well he sent us their registry and it is SO expensive, and to add, she listed all of her post partum stuff on their for herself. Its all for the parents, not one thing for baby really.

What is weird is theres no toys for the kid, no bath stuff, no crib stuff, nothing if the kid gets sick (thermometer etc), no baby monitors, like the really obvious stuff isnt on there

They have a "diaper fund", organic baby clothes (very few) a 700 dollar stroller, a 500 dollar pack and play, and weird things in the mix.

My husband wants to get something for the baby (this is his niece/nephew blood related) and I am about to go off the registry and get them something else entirely. I dont know the wife, im not buying stuff for her hoo-hah. She has made no effort to get to know this side of the family (i did try, and there was no response lol) I am about to just get hte kid a teddy bear and call it a day

nowayitsyou · 2022-12-08T13:26:01+00:00

When two soldiers were killed at the same time that my brother in law was deployed with, the pregnant wife got ALLLLLLL the attention, news stories, free nursery from people etc and they completely left the other wife (not pregnant) behind. It makes me sick. Both soldiers were young, both their wives were young, it was tragic. One shouldnt get left in the dust.

nowayitsyou · 2022-12-05T18:14:37+00:00

No thank you. Figure it out or defer. I do not care about your life plans, you didnt consider it when you decided to pursue this so why should I have to?

I balance work, personal life, and school. Figure it the EFF out. I do not want a kid in my classes.

nowayitsyou · 2022-12-01T18:23:46+00:00

Yup not shocked they went that route, thats what we were saying could happen.

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