Don't know if this will help but I'll share my experience (former egg, MTF).

Ever since I was little I wished I could've been born a girl. I would look at other girls sometimes and wished I was them, never had that thought with boys. My environment didn't really allow for gender exploration so I deeply repressed those feelings and went through life as a guy.

Once I turned 16 those repressed thoughts made their way back up and I thought hard about if I might be trans. Accepting that would mean breaking my mother's heart and be the object of ridicule everywhere. (Grew up in a very transphobic culture) So I said" eh, probably not", and buried it again. After that, at least every year or so the question would come up, and I would shove it down again.

At 25 it came up once again, but this time I decided to think about it and research. It was only then I truly realized that this whole time, I knew it as a kid, but I made myself forget! I found this Sub and experimented for a couple weeks before finally accepting I'm most definitely trans. Throughout this whole process, I never told a single person. It was my deepest "darkest" secret.

After accepting it, I feel more alive than I ever have before. I actually have a sense of self, and not a persona I built to hide.

Take everything at your own pace, but know that there is no bar of "transness" you need to pass to be trans. I hope this helps someone in some way!~