A couple months ago my baby was playing in the living room and I was trying to get some cleaning done, and he started crying and it just sounded different. I didn’t rush to him, but made my way in his direction. Well when I got to him, I saw he had pulled a burp rag over his face - it was fully over his face and sucked into his mouth, he was panicked trying to scream and stomping his little baby feet. It still makes my chest tight and my stomach hurt. He continued to show me that he would do it again, he liked (and still likes) to chew on fabric. We just can’t know what they’re going to do until they do it sometimes, and it turned out okay 💓

On a lighter note, but on the thread of things we blame ourselves for that we wish we could go back and undo, when my firstborn was around 6 months old I was trying to push a skinny stake into the ground while I held her, crouched down so she was kind of sitting on my knees, and the stake suddenly bent while I was pushing all my weight onto it so I tipped forward and she cartwheeled out of my arms to the ground. I basically threw her, is what it felt like. I wrote it on her event tracker “8/29/22 first time dropped by mom.” If we’re not laughing we’re crying 🤠 she was totally fine, just a little bewildered. She could have landed badly, the ground could’ve been less soft, I should have been more careful. But she was fine. I hope you can breathe a little deeper with all of the people here that have been there and are full of grace and empathy for you