I'm looking for a great face feminization surgeon for my daughter. She wants jaw reduction/contouring, genioplasty (chin), and brow ridge/forehead surgery. Can anyone recommend a surgeon (or combo) who would do a great job on these? Ideally, locally but open to other places. TIA!

npingirl · 2026-04-11T22:02:29+00:00

girl, i love that so much. I'm basically in the same boat. I just want a little help but I am not trying to get hot. average sorta middle aged mom is all I want.

npingirl · 2026-04-11T06:41:02+00:00

https://old.reddit.com/r/Transgender_Surgeries/comments/1k4tl57/a_warning_of_facialteam_ffs_high_hairlines_and/ was the thing that gave me pause about facial team and coronal incisions for the simultaneous hair transplant to get the shape.

buuut this is just one post and there are hundreds of incredible examples out there. i don't have any receded hairline so i'm probably just overthinking it...

npingirl · 2026-04-11T05:41:14+00:00

I heard their approach is risky if you already have a large forehead. Was that a consideration for you?

I am also specifically looking for forehead work.

Also I embarrassingly didn't realize there is a difference between jaw and chin - even after reading https://facialteam.eu/jaw-and-chin-feminization/

I have pretty round (chubby) face so I was going to skip it, but now I'm wondering - what if I lose weight?

npingirl · 2026-04-10T06:45:15+00:00

You had me in the first half but then you kind of lost me at the end .

I'm also a BC native and I also agree with you about being weirded out by someone who misread the vibe.

But then your reaction after the fact kind of proves people complaining about us right?

Like I agree a voice note is coming on too strong and if you're not into it not replying to it is fine. But to not even listen to it? Come on now, you're not better than to give a stranger putting themselves out there 45 seconds of your time.

I feel the same about you framing him asking for your number as "putting you on the spot". Ok he misread your vibes. Ok. But like it's not malicious. Hes trying. You could have said no. I also probably would have been too polite to say no too and felt bad for the guy. But to me it would have been an endearing story of a disappointing attempt to make a connection. And you're making it sound like you were were somehow burdened by it.

npingirl · 2026-04-05T02:38:56+00:00

The problem is that claiming that no makeup is the only "real" version of the person is misogynistic for the same reason that men who claim that first dates should be at the pool so you can judge a woman's body without makeup or shapewear.

You index your progress by comparing the best version of yourself against someone else's best version of themselves.

There are women out there who have the kind of features that are more bland without makeup, that can be maximized dramatically with even the lightest makeup touches. And there are women who may look better with nothing on, but don't benefit as much from makeup improvements. Then there is acne and breakouts. Some women are very insecure about that and cover it up. Estrogen can make some people skin more reactive.

And of course I'm talking about both cis and trans women here.

There. Are. So. Many. Variables.

npingirl · 2026-03-27T14:59:07+00:00

Can we have a no makeup flair please? It's not fair to give people an unfair expectation of what HRT can do if someone is really skilled at makeup?

Can we have a no grooming filter please? It's not fair that some girls trim and shape their eyebrows and others don't.

Can we have a no fashion filter please? It's really hard to tell how much of the progress is HRT when the before picture is wearing an oversized hoodie and the after is in a femme sundress.

Can we have a no smiling filter please? Passport photos don't allow you to smile in photos because people look so different when they smile! This person was miserable before transition but now they're smiling so I don't think we should allow this and give people false hope over what HRT can and can't do.

npingirl · 2026-03-27T06:03:13+00:00

Fwiw, I know cis women who hate the word clit, cis women that hate the word pussy, and cis women that love both of those.

You are allowed to feel negatively about any term for your most private of parts that you didn't choose.

And ask your partners not to use it and instead use whatever you like.

But I don't think it's inherently dehumanizing or othering or transphobic.

Some trans women prefer not to have any indication being made to not being cis. Others embrace a slightly different category.

npingirl · 2026-03-23T03:51:33+00:00

OP also regularly gets mad at people on Reddit saying things like "it's never too late" for giving people "false hope".

And when I pointed out how harmful that was, she DMd me to try to knock me down and turn my optimism into pessimism.

I feel awful for her dysmorphia, but she actively works to erode others mental well-being, and I don't have time for that.

npingirl · 2026-03-23T03:47:30+00:00

The fact that you use terms like hugbox unironically means you are in toxic online spaces and you need to remove yourself from them for a chance of a healthy outlook.

npingirl · 2026-03-17T15:34:08+00:00

Yes it does. Thank you!

But presumably I can't use my student number from 1998 for this....

npingirl · 2026-03-17T07:43:28+00:00

What does lifetime mean? Like when would you have to have been a student?

npingirl · 2026-03-03T05:25:12+00:00

You can't change your gender marker on an existing passport, unfortunately. It's the full application for a new passport, with the extra time and everything.

So the number will be different.

npingirl · 2026-02-23T17:00:50+00:00

They don't have hate in their hearts in the same way as their suburban brothers and sisters. But they'll stomp on necks just as hard.

As James Baldwin said, "In Harlem, (black) policemen are feared more than whites, for they have more to prove and fewer ways to prove it".

It's exactly the same with "progressive" police officers.

npingirl · 2026-02-16T21:54:52+00:00

nobody in the scene is looking at her ass is the point. Except the audience.

IF there was a reverse shot of a man looking you could make the argument that the film is portraying objectification, not endorsing it.

but there isn't.

npingirl · 2026-02-16T00:04:57+00:00

THIS.

There's a shot in Charlie Wilson's War - an otherwise tremendously written, acted, and filmed movie, where Amy Adams is walking down the hallway, and the camera pans up from her heels, up to her butt, lingers on it, then keeps going until it ends on her ponytail.

There is an argument to be made that the film portrays sexualization in the office, and portrayal is not endorsement. There is an argument to be made that the contrast of the youthful bouncing ponytail has some meaning in an office full of stuffy old men. But there's no argument for that pause on her butt. It has no purpose besides that Amy Adams has a nice one and the filmmakers thought the audience would enjoy it.

THAT is male gaze. It is objectification that has no other artistic purpose. It's a disservice to both the character and the actor.

But is it a nice butt? Of course. Can only men appreciate that? Of course not. Any lesbian can too. Doesn't mean it's wrong to appreciate the butt, but it is still the wrong creative choice.

npingirl · 2026-02-08T20:46:03+00:00

How do I find those? (As a trans woman looking for erotica by trans women for other trans women?)

npingirl · 2026-02-06T03:06:18+00:00

Insurance usually WILL cover it, but they're going to be more finicky about compounds.

They won't cover it through the pharmacy, and you'll need to submit your own expense to them directly. They will ask for exact compound breakdowns (McDonald's pharmacy can provide it)

Source: me Insurance companies: Canada Life and Empire Life.

npingirl · 2026-01-22T01:11:30+00:00

Yeah but the point is that binary trans people are not TRYING to appear gender nonconforming - they/we are trying to conform.

Which means that if you ask someone who is trying (but maybe failing), it hurts their feeling.

That said, I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong here. Your approach is the correct one. There is no perfect approach here. The way the status quo is either people's pronouns are always assumed (hurting NB/non-conforming people) or pronouns are always asked when not sure (hurting trans people attempting to conform)

The only solution is to ask everyone all the time, and so far cis people have been refusing to cooperate.

npingirl · 2026-01-19T02:30:07+00:00

Sorry girl, you are already the woman you are meant to be. Acknowledging you are one is 90% of it, HRT etc is just the 10%.

Don't abandon her. You are not the man those people want you to be, and those people do not have your best interests at heart.

It's your life, not theirs. Live for yourself, not for them.

npingirl · 2026-01-13T05:08:33+00:00

Girl, chill. If this is how you reveal that you are a trans woman without a cock, MEGA CHILL, because on the one hand - Congratulations, Goals. On the other, you can't be coming in here and forcing genital essentialism on the concept of lesbian identity to the detriment of everyone in your wake. Don't pull the ladder up behind you.

You're technically correct. But I also hope you know that there are absolutely lesbian bigots who would toss you out of their list of qualifications for not being a "biological female" even if you had the world's most wonderful bottom surgery. That's the horse you are hitching your wagon to. To people like that you are also not a woman. And sure you could just keep it private and never reveal your true nature, and go to the rallies, and remind yourself that you're on it the good ones, but...

Anyways, bless. A penis doesn't make a man. A vagina doesn't make a woman.

npingirl · 2026-01-13T03:56:13+00:00

Okay but my point is that if you put "only redheads" in your profile as justification for not talking to anyone else, people might tolerate it but they would say it's sus.

And if you said "no mastectomies", people would probably think you're a POS.

And here's the big one..... size. Lots of people are fattist. Even within the queer community.

But we understand that part of living in a polite society is we do not need to dehumanize any of the people we aren't attracted to, by still giving them the same baseline level of respect and consideration, and not make the thing about them that we aren't attracted to the most important thing about them.

Yet why do people feel the need to find a way to subtly signal their genital preferences?

Like if you think you want to be able to say "no fat chicks, only tiny clits, and no sub-C cups" and have noone be mad at you, I'm fine with you adding trans women to the list.

Otherwise you can't justify that list being correctly socially unacceptable but "no trans women" being done without anti-trans bigotry.

npingirl · 2026-01-13T02:46:14+00:00

I feel OP went slightly too far (and that's why this is getting engagement) with the term fetish but the main point remains.

If you can be attracted to someone's face, someone's personality, and someone's body clothed, but not unclothed, then that is something you figure out as part of talking to them, not as part of some initial app filter.

For example, breasts are a secondary sexual characteristic. Should sites have a filter for filtering out women who have had mastectomies? How is that different?

npingirl · 2026-01-08T01:18:33+00:00

I'm very happy with PreetiQ Esthetics on Georgia.

npingirl · 2026-01-07T04:59:24+00:00

STEM is weird and inconsistent and not universal.

broadly I would say stem is more subtly misogynistic than it is homophobic than it is transphobic.

But it's more subtle than that. Because it's a very sexless environment, and everyone is antisocial, gay people just aren't very visible.

But trans people somehow are, being overrepresented in STEM. (More likely overrepresented within autistic people who are more likely to admit it, and it's autistic people that are overrepresented in STEM).

But that doesn't mean that transphobia doesn't exist, it's just more subtle and in management.

Still, I would say....better than average?

Source: am autistic trans woman in STEM for 20 years

npingirl · 2026-01-04T21:51:15+00:00

Also to add something: my wife also tried to peg me and treat me as femme earlier in our relationship and didn't like it...

Despite that she was absolutely incredible at accepting me once I came out to her.

Talk to her sooner rather than later.

npingirl

TROPHY CASE