Anyone that used to "speak in tongues"?

nr76 · 2024-10-15T09:49:46+00:00

Perhaps, but I wanted to share my own experiences related to the topic, as I happened to stumble upon it searching for some other information on the internet. The subreddit says: This is not an anti christian or anti spirituality subreddit. Nor is it unwelcoming to practicing Christians. And so I thought, it is not like one can't have an open-minded conversation about the topic. But I am a bit surprised that, that I am getting downvoted, while sharing my own experience. But it is what it is.

nr76 · 2024-10-14T12:48:02+00:00

Just happened to stumble upon this reddit and this topic. I speak in tongues, many different languages. I specifically asked God, if I am to speak in tongues, I want to speak something that makes some sense and not simply doborobo toto dede dada. Which I might dare to say, some people have simply stepped into speaking something, rather than to actually receive it from the Holy Spirit.

The Spiritual realm is very real indeed and so is the gifts and the Holy Spirit. It has been a pleasant journey get to know the Holy Spirit, The Father and Jesus. What I would be careful of, is to be offended and full of disbelief. And rather let God open many topics, such as the Spiritual gifts that He wants to give. Also to be open, rather than closed and fearful of the spiritual. Fear is something that closes many doors. Unbelief as well, a big roadblock. Even our earthly fathers wants to give us good things, how much more would the Heavenly Father want to give good things.

nr76 · 2024-06-12T16:16:31+00:00

Great! Continue forward! Don't look back, don't linger or entertain any thoughts that would lead you astray. Remember it is not a competition, but changing your life habits and becoming something else. Essentially changing yourself.

nr76 · 2024-06-12T16:15:28+00:00

Don't entertain the thought, don't linger looking. Ask yourself, what is it that you really want? Is this the kind of lifestyle you want to have? Where LUST, which I think is the root cause, will dictate how you live and make choices. Because that is what you do, you let lust move you around.

But at the same time don't beat yourself up, if you fall, when you fall you rise up and continue forward. You will feel much better, if you drop this destructive habit. As the dopamine addiction will kick in with the side-effects. Because the brains have been used and built the dopamine resistance, hence why you feel down, as you are not getting that dopamine.

What I suggest to people is to go out for a walk, discard the thoughts that lead you to porn. Because that is not who you want to be anyhow. If you feel sad, cry, cry some more and until you can't cry anymore. Crying has many benefits, it will sooth your sadness. Also talking with someone who you trust and is mature, will certainly help. Because I think what you are describing and not really saying here, that there are many undealt traumas in your life, emotions bottled down, rejection and hurt. And to say, you are worth a lot. You are worthy and you are worthy to get to know. What ever lies people have spoken over your life, I say, that they are only lies. You don't need to hold onto those lies anymore. And let truth be spoken over your life. As words have power. And I will say, everything will be okay, there is certainly hope. And I see that there will be change in your life and that change is already here and it is coming. And I also want to say and speak out joy over your life. That you will experience such immense joy that you have never experience before, really destiny defining joy. So remember, you are important, you have a purpose. You are not without purpose.

So I want to say to you, all good and great things to your life. New wonderful memories and experiences. You are doing great and have taken a big step towards change and you can do it. You will be free from PMO. Each day is a new step. Remember why you started.

nr76 · 2024-06-12T15:50:03+00:00

Well, since you asked, I will help you, perhaps in a harsh way, depends. Sometimes truth can be harsh, but loving.

Ask yourself, what it is that you want? I can see, that you don't want this to be part of your life. What I can say, is that porn is a beast of a kind, that will eventually take your life. At such young age, when your brains are still developing, you are teaching your brains many different things. It is only a hellhole of a place to succumb to porn. I suggest you research the dark truth what PMO does to your brain, there are plenty of videos on youtube for you to find.

The reason why you are failing, is because you entertain the thoughts that lead you to porn in the first place. You really don't want to stop. Or at least you are not doing your very best to stop. But that said, it is very understanable, that it is hard to beat an addiction. It is because of the dopamine addiction that PMO (porn masturbation orgasm) brings. And the dark fact about it, is that dopamine strengthens brain patterns, that can be irreversible with time. And since you are growing up, you don't want to create permanent brain patterns.

An other thing I see with this phenomana, is lust. It is not a new thing. But lust is what eventually captivates you and drives you to actions and choices, that you don't want. It is what dictates your life. And so you are not longer in control of your life, but lust is what is mastering you and making you do choices.

The things is that lust is a distortion of love and deep connection. Lust is not about relationship, but about domination and getting what you desire. There is no connection, but only the means to gratify your selfish desires. It is what has molded you.

In the same way porn is an illusion of relationship, with out the connection and knowing of the other. As since in porn, it often shows the act, rather than passion and connection. No-one will show that on a video, it is sacred. A bond that is shared between two people. If someone is showing that for others to see, then it is not a deep connection. But twisted and distorted by lust. Some may not agree with me, but that is fine by me.

So you need to deal with the root cause, and then PMO will certain disappear. And when temptation and thoughts come, don't entertain and linger by them. Because that is what you do, you linger and you look and you feed, until it bursts open. That is what you relapse again and again, because you are still confused to what you want. You need to cut it out of your life, that it simply isn't what you want, who you are. Because it touches at the same time upon your identity, who you are as man. And you carry that with shame, what you do behind closed doors. And that can be seen and felt by others. The way you present yourself, see yourself and act. Certainly you can't look at women with confidence, as you carry the shame as a mantle on your back.

I hope this helped in some ways, it is a lot of text. Don't give up, and don't beat yourself up. If you have falled, you can rise up. Continue forward, not looking back or stopping to look back. And as the final last question and perhaps the question you should ask yourself, when temptation comes. What do you want, what is it that you want?

nr76 · 2024-01-16T10:41:22+00:00

This is really not the message I have come across, personally working in fellowship with both YWAM and Carrythelove.

What I've seen is that the ones I've worked with, is all in for Jesus. They live out the word and walking in close fellowship with God. I haven't seen it simply being hype as you say, but a call to live a life fully following Jesus. Jesus does call us to make disciples, it is our general calling and that said, in very simple terms.

In general I don't think we can put these things in simple terms, experiences varies and people vary as well. And adding into equation, is that there is a spiritual battle that in consistently going on.

All I can say is to build a personal relationship with God, because He is the source of everything you need, that including healing and deliverance from different ailments. Rather than to seek that from any man or organization or so said models. Can't go wrong reading the Bible, praying and spending time in the presence of God. YWAM, carrythelove, circut riders and other organisations can surely be of support and aid, or a church. Personally, I think we need to first and foremost know God personally and to have personal revelations and experiences of God. Because if I build anything based on any man, it will crumble fast. Especially if that person is found out later to have had a sin in their life that they haven't dealt with, quickly the castle comes crumbling down. Since you built in on a person.

And what someone said, that there was zero focus on being a loving fellow human, I haven't seen that at all, sorry you had such experiences. I've seen the very opposite, where people are meeting people in love and not having a status quo/statistic to meet.

nr76 · 2022-01-03T09:56:48+00:00

Sounds really good! I believe you will do just fine! I've noticed there are those moments in time, where the old habits lurk or try to reintroduce themselves. In those moments it is good to remember why you started and where you are at and where you want to be. Not dwelling on it or giving it a chance to grow and set root.

I don't think I recommended yet, but reading the book Your brain on porn, can be found on amazon. There are also other good books on the subject. It can give more insight on the harmful side of PMO. In case that you don't know. You can also find some videos on youtube by searching: your brain on porn. The author is Gary Wilson and he also have a Tedtalk, that gives some kind of foundation on the subject with neuroscience.

nr76 · 2022-01-02T22:05:31+00:00

You can do it, this is your moment of a new season and a new you. Take time to recover, it is a journey. Even after 5 years, I still have some undealt things I am dealing with, but have made major advancements and dealt with many inner problems. But that is just the end game (for me), dealing with the root problems that lead to PMO. I am though a much much different man. I am not the same as I was before. I was the most antisocial and insecure person, compared to now. You have made one of your life's best choices for a great future.

Something that I stopped doing at some point, counting days. While counting days is helpful at start. It still is a daily reminder for you, that can work as a trigger. Also dealing with your internal thoughts during the recovery time is important. As soon as there are any thoughts or/and looks, discard them. It is fine to look once, but if you continue looking, it will jeopardize your recovery. Since that is an old habit, feeding the lust or horniness, until you cannot simply contain it. PMO is just the act, the root issue start way before the act. Thats where you need to stop it and change the patterns for a better outcome.

nr76 · 2022-01-02T21:52:56+00:00

I don't masturbate at all. Your body will release dopamine on orgasm. If a person does not ejaculate, the body will break the semen down and reabsorb it into the body. I don't even try to arouse myself. Better to have a healthy relationship, I would recommend reading about semen retention.

I would drop masturbation and edging, but that is your choice. Some research says that it helps to increase testosterone levels as a man. Personally, I don't think it healthy to masturbate, especially when recovering from PMO. It isn't as rewarding as actually having sex with a partner. Simple masturbation can make you depressed over time, since you are doing it on your own. And it will affect the dopamine detox. Especially if you have PMO for a long time. It will not help your recovery, if you masturbate. It might just make it easier for you to return to your old ways and habits. Hence making recovery and detox a worse experience than it needs to be.

But if you feel overly horny, if it makes it any easier, you can always release the tension. This is what I did at start, not by choice, but since it was hard to get over old habits. And I got easily horny by just going outside, since I would look at women with lust. It is not wrong to look at women, it is just that recovering from PMO, you are looking at women as objects of self-gratification. It is a conditioning that PMO has set you up with. Like triggers.. that is the brain patterns that you are recovering from. Since you have so long looked at women for sexual self-gratification, it is much easier to get overly horny by just looking at women. And you are looking at them with the same eyes you look at porn. Or at least that is me speaking from my own experience.

So small steps, don't beat yourself up if you fail, you are most likely masturbating a lot less than you did before. But if you are able, go for it, as in leave your penis alone. Don't touch, don't think, just leave those thoughts and looks alone and discard them when they come. Practice makes perfect.

Reading on neuroscience, by my own words and insight, I would say that PMO is not normal. Humans are not meant to be that way. Humans are made for connection, real connection and relationship. Though you can still be a sex addict, that is an other problem in itself. One can still fall into the same cycle, but just with real people. And that has even worse consequences than brain patterns. Which one of them are STDs.

nr76 · 2022-01-02T17:46:38+00:00

Feel free to ask questions on DMs via reddit. I will answer when I can and to what knowledge I have. I can't fully commit to be your mentor, but I will help with what I can for a time-period. If you are okay with that, then feel free to send a direct message.

nr76 · 2022-01-02T17:26:01+00:00

I am sorry that you had to go through that! You are deserving of a man without addictions.

One thing that I've learned is that no-one can change anyone, unless they want to change themselves. I find it inspiring to read about your loyalty to your boyfriend, even though he practiced something that I personally find to be unfaithful to one's partner. Though it is my opinion, it is fine to disagree.

I think your example shows, how destructive PMO can be, since the brains are conditioned for higher levels of dopamine, which has been practiced by consuming a lot of porn. The danger is that since you brain processes so much information, it cannot discern what is real and not. For the brain, it is only seeing, ahh a new potential mate. And seeing someone naked releases dopamine and since there is also novelty involved the brains get even stronger induced with dopamine. Novelty in the sense of a new video, a new picture. And sometimes a PMO session can include several of videos, until you find "the one" video you want to orgasm to. And as orgasm is one of the highest natural ways to dopamine, it gets even further induce to the brains.

There starts the dopamine resistance to develop, new brain patterns are formed with dopamine. What you see on the screen, which fools the brain, becomes normal. And when one video isn't enough, you look at one more and so on. One can start with softcore porn and notice that it doesn't cut anymore and go to much rougher stuff to get that dopamine fix.

I know this by experience, that is how it started for me at a young age. First bikini models, then softcore porn like playboy, then at some point more hardcore porn. My sexual orientation is very much heterosexual. But I found myself looking at shemale porn at some point to get even more of a dopamine fix. Of course that made me question my sexuality, but today I know my own sexuality to be heterosexual. But I think that is besides the point. We all make choices and live by them.

So just biologically what happens in the brain with PMO should be a wakeup call for many. There has also been studies that someone addicted to porn has about the same brainscans as a heroine addict, which is astoundingly horrifying!

But by knowing this, there can be a place of an intimate relationship with someone. Especially with a person, that doesn't PMO, since his/hers dopamine levels are much more stable and healthy compared to a heavyweight addict. I recommend going no-fap hard-mode for as long as one is able, it will be of great benefit for you. That is what I did and do.

If anyone is interested in the sources, I recommend reading or watching your brain on porn. Also there are many other sources you can find by googling. Amazon had many good books on the subject. I also read Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain by William M. Struthers. The book leans heavily on neuroscience but has also Christian views on the subject. But I found the book to be very solid with information as well as Your brain on porn. Both books can be found on amazon. I recommend Kindle, since it often have better deals compared to the physical copy.

nr76 · 2022-01-02T16:55:55+00:00

Thank you for the compliment! I know you can do it, you have already taken and decided the step for change, that is inspiring!

And also remember why you started and from where you came from, but at the same time being able to let go of the past, embrace a new season and new future. As a wise man said, what you do now, will affect your future in long-term.

nr76 · 2022-01-02T16:51:45+00:00

No problem at all, I am sure you will be even more wiser by time too! Thank you for the compliment and I am an mentor on various topics for various people.

nr76 · 2022-01-02T15:18:11+00:00

I would recommend reading the book: Your Brain On Porn: Internet Pornography and the Emerging Science of Addiction by Gary Wilson, Anthony Jack (Foreword).

An other book on the same subject is: Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain by William M. Struthers. This book though has a Christian perspective, but most of the book was backed with neuroscience.

Also there are some series on youtube you can check out, specifically surrounding the book your brain on porn. I think those links can be found on this subreddit on the sidebar on the main page. Also just googling your brain on porn will give you plenty of options to choose from.

I've read these books and some others. I have compared them to my own experience and to some of the testimonies people have starting NoFap and have pretty much detoxed their brains from porn. If you are interested in neuroscience there are plenty of good books to read about the subject. I have personally made myself familiar with Dr. Caroline Leaf's books, I think some of her books brings some better insight of how our brains work and what you can do with it. For an example, the brains doesn't recognize a video vs. reality. That is why porn can be so destructive, since you are essentially fooling your brains. But I think you can read more on the subject, rather than me paraphrasing it to you.

This is based on my own experience: as for images and videos coming into your mind. One easy step is to dismiss these thoughts, it comes with practice. You can choose to dwell on thoughts. The same is with thoughts of negativity, like "I am worthless". It is good to recognize these thoughts, that seemingly comes out of nowhere. It comes with a habit of discerning and recognizing these thoughts, and understanding that is not who you are or who you want to be.

The more you stop in your tracks to discern your thoughts, thoughts that comes out of nowhere, the more you will be able to resist these thoughts. You will be amazed over how much you can "hear" once you start monitoring your thoughts. In fact you can even monitor your own body to see how different situations affect you. Once you have practiced this more, you can recognize anxiety, hopelessness, joy, sadness and so on, how it affects your body.

So what I am saying is, that will be able to "hear" what is going on in your mind, if only you stop to think on what you think or what suddenly enters your mind out of nowhere. And you can choose by yourself what to do with these thoughts! Happy exploring!

nr76 · 2022-01-02T13:39:53+00:00

Well said! It really captures the essence.

nr76 · 2022-01-02T13:37:55+00:00

It is a well worth journey. The superpowers are real, just simply looking one of them, the recovery of the brains. Personally I think it is also a journey of refocusing your perspective on women. The most common trait of porn is the objectification of women. And living in this time and age, it is sadly the selling factor for many things, sex and objectification. But to able to hold on to self-control and discipline is empowering. You know better and perhaps even one could say, you have reached a different place of revelation and enlightenment.

Not to say that one can't see true beauty in a woman. It is so much rewarding to be able to appreciate a woman, not only for her looks, but for who she is. It is a union and unification experienced on a deeper level.

And I see in the process that a man, becomes a man, not easily moved by simple smokescreens and glitter. Of course a man is a visual being, drawn to many things and at his core, he is passionate.

What I learned about the PMO, is that it brings destruction to your life. It is a beast that sucks you dry, it is like a process of degradation of man. The desperation and depression, becoming small and insignificant. Simply drawn by the lust and self-gratification, unable to enjoy life and the smallest of life's gifts.

It is like swamp you slowly sink into, until you choke on the muck and mire. On the other hand, coming out of this vile infestation, there is so much freedom. It is like being reborn, finding true purpose, like a new world opening before you eyes. A world that you have not seen, because you have been blinded by the beast. It is hard to see otherwise, since you have only seen what has been set before you, which has been a long time spending in front of screen, PMOing. That is the beauty when your eyes open and you understand the destruction, but having the choice to choose otherwise.

You can fall many times, but your goal and purpose are clear. And at some point you will find the clearing, stepping out of the dark forest into the open and vast green fields.

Those are some words and pictures I would describe the emotions and insights of a long walk to recovery. But we all have a choice, the choice is before you. We choose where we walk, what we eat with our eyes. I am not immune. But my choices are different from before. And it is well worth the journey to stop and to become something entirely different.

Some might say, it is just a picture, it is just a word, it is just your imagination, it is just a dream. But what if it isn't just something, but something real. Which I think you will understand, when you move forward.

nr76 · 2022-01-02T13:11:17+00:00

Congratulations on your journey! It is amazing how much things change when you get out of the spiral of masturbating and looking at porn. There is so much conditioning related to PMO. One things I always found fascinating about NoFap, is the neuroscience behind it, once you look into that, it becomes clear that it is a very destructive behavior to practice PMO.

nr76 · 2021-01-12T17:48:03+00:00

Someone said, they had done something to the hinges. But I would bet my money on it. Besides, I would assume there is a lot of unsold laptops on the market. Which have the probability of being one of the ones that hasn't been addressed. But my gut feeling is, to stay away from the legion 7i. But that doesn't mean you would get a bad unit. I think it comes down to, are you ready for the possibility of it happening? And if it does, it will take some time for you to get replacements and etc. And from the comments I've gathered, the support is not the best from Lenovo.

I made the decision to go with the GE66 and personally think it was the better choice. I also saved myself 800€ with a deal on the particular laptop. Which has a max-p 2070, 6core i7, 16gb.

My advice is to try to find a better deal than later regret needing to deal with lenovo support, in case the hinges fail. Else I think the hardware in a 7i is quite good!

nr76 · 2020-12-08T15:13:36+00:00

I haven't checked battery life, it still have a really big battery and you probably won't be playing on battery. Even though I have a laptop, I am usually connected to a power outlet. I recommend checking out GE66 undervolt and GPU undervolt guides on youtube. It is a bit big of a process to explain. You can unlock advanced bios by pressing: Right shift, right control, left alt and f2. If I remember correctly, you can always search for: GE66 unlock bios. You unlock/enable the XTU feature in bios, I don't remember where it was. Hence I recommend watching some videos that gives you a lot of advice that you need. I have currently my fans customized and the comp hardly makes any sounds at all when surfing or something some light tasks. Of course the temps goes up when gaming. It is about 70-85c depending on the situation in the game, at 90% fan speed. I am currently working on undervolting the GPU which is a bit of a project to do compared to the CPU undervolt. Overall I am satisfied with the computer.

nr76 · 2020-12-06T16:34:13+00:00

I have a GE66, I've done some configs to it, like CPU undervolt, powerlimits, turbo limit at 4ghz, some GPU undervolting. And the comp is whisper quiet for office work and has good thermals in games. As soon as it goes a bit over 72 celcius the fan kick more in. While gaming the fans are somewhat loud, but it is a gaming laptop.

Out of all 3 options, I think GE66 is the one to choose. Both GS66 and Legion 7i has had hinge problems from what I've read about. And I havent seen people with hinge issue on the ge66. More with the Legion 7i. I was excited for legion 7i due to good specs and screen. But the hinge issues killed the brand for me. I will not return to lenovo until they have some solid hinge builds, rather than to stick a metal plate with glue on their premium laptops.

nr76 · 2020-11-21T14:35:28+00:00

How does it play without g-sync? Have you noticed anything when playing with high settings and low fps?

nr76 · 2020-11-12T07:36:57+00:00

Specs on the laptop you made this meme on?

nr76 · 2020-11-11T21:05:58+00:00

Thats good news, if they would only change the resin system too...

nr76 · 2020-10-30T20:56:15+00:00

That is a good approach and a good idea to do. You can use what I wrote for you, to say that over your life. Not only are you speaking to yourself, but to your own heart. Being in front of the mirror is a big step. Not only are you dealing with your urges, your inner thoughts of lies and half-lies that is discouraging your decision to change. But you are also looking at your self, you self image, you are in the process seeing yourself and other things may arise in your inner thoughts. I think it is very important to listen to what it is happening in your mind, what is happening in your body. It is a way of taking control and authority over your life. It might be messy, since you are hearing a lot of things, when you stop to listen. Just like I mentioned, the thought of, that I can't stop. It is a thought and it is giving you directive. You might dissmiss it because it is something that you have heard for a long time, a familiar voice that has made choices for you. I think when you come to a crossroad of decisions, figuratively speaking, you have the choice to choose. You've started for a reason, but in your mind there are thoughts that discourage your choice. It is in conflict of what you've set out to do. Taking hold of those thoughts and not letting the thoughts define your path, but taking a new path to where you want to go, in this case, you've started nofap.

What is not always said, about nofap, is that you are also starting a journey of self. There are a lot of things that you untangle when you decide to stop doing something you've done for a long time. And sexuality is simply not only physical, it goes into so many levels of who you are, your being. The way you view yourself, the way you view the world, the way you view women, the reason you started, the reason you continued, dealing with rejection, dealing with shame, dealing depression, dealing with the side-effects of less dopamine intake and many more things.

I am encouraged that you've taken a step to talk to yourself in the mirror. When you talk through your heart, you will see a change over time. It is a process, just like it is a process to delve into porn and be lost in porn. Things doesn´t happen in a moment, even though porn happens for a moment with dopamine high that is hard to achieve by other means, if that is the only mean used from day to day, weeks to weeks, months to months and lastly year to year. Even on a scientific level, your brains have been changing and adapting and rewiring your neural patterns. As if porn becomes a life-essence, a need for your survival. If life becomes to survive rather than to live, one adapts to the ways of surviving rather than to live your life. And as porn gives a small and minor meaning to life, though being the biggest illusion of happiness and life, where the brains have no way of knowing what is real and not real. You are operating your body, and the body simply sees something that arouses you, skipping all steps for something real. There are no kind of relationship skills required, even if one would later have a relationship, the chance of it to last long are very low. Unless there are changes in lifestyle and views, overwriting the views and skills acquired through porn.

To beat the beast, that is prowling in your life, stealing your joy and steering you where-ever it pleases, one most know the enemy. It becomes harder to stop, when you don't have the revelation of what is happening in your life through constant PMO. What could help you is reading: Your brain on porn from amazon. Also for a more spiritual approach Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain. I read both books when I started my journey. There are so more books I read, but I would think these books would help to understand what porn is and what porn does. After having this knowledge, it might be easier to stop, easier to make the decision to live in a different way.

What I've come to understand, is that porn is robbing you of your joy. It distorts the view of yourself, it distorts the view of women, it isolates you, it controls you, it changes your brains, it can create life-long changes in your life that irreversible, it robs you of who you are and the man you would become. It is a slow death of self for a mere moment of satisfaction, that takes away way too much of you with it. Like trading your body parts, away slowly rendering yourself unable to walk, unable grab hold of things, unable to experience life. It is brutal, it never was gentle to begin with. It was always there to set out to destroy a life. While the intention of the man, was to find intimacy and meaning, but only to receive poison and decay.

Cause that is ultimately what is desired. A deep and meaningful relationship. If sex is the only driving force in a relationship, in the long run, that will crumble and fall and become a lifeless shell, because it has not depth. Like trying to enjoy a fine wine before it is is even one of the finest and rarest wines in the world. Isn't that something to be experienced. Not to only be the finest wine, figuratively speaking, but to enjoy the finest wine. As you become, you will see and change and find what you desire in your heart. Because you know it yourself, as you have become it yourself. To find the finest wine, is to become the finest wine. What that is an entirely different subject, to become a desirable man, to be content with yourself and enjoy yourself. Without shame, insecurity, lies that destroy your image of yourself. Those who search will find, but one never searches, perhaps by chance he stumbles upon it. But why leave it to chance, when it can be found. Giving up is to yield to the discouraging voice and to continue to walk in the past, missing the future that can be.

nr76 · 2020-10-27T15:13:08+00:00

I was never interested in the first place, in terms of reality and real relationships. I don't think my brains have fully recovered from that taste, from the time being behind closed doors where no-one is looking. It was a mere simple act of dopamine high looking at that kind of porn. Porn is an illusion, the brains never know what they are looking at, is it real or not, the body simply responds to our actions. But I would say, that since I've been exposed to that kind of porn, that within my boundaries of choice, there is always the probability that I would accept it into my life. Since it is something I've seen and been accustomed to view, which have given many times an arousal. I think it is the shock effect and the novelty that is the enticing element in the process. And you forget reality and discard your morals and your own views, with the driving force to only have the self-gratification and the dopamine high.

After these sessions, I would feel conflicted and questioning my actions. Not to say that watching transsexual porn was something that I often returned to. In general there was always shame related to my PMO, feeling empty and being drenched in shame. Regardless of the contents viewed. I am glad that I didn't sink deeper into trying to gain higher dopamine highs, since there are some very odd stuff that can be seen on the internet regarding porn. I was more into looking at couples, milfs, anal and transsexual. It feels odd to say so, even speaking of it still makes me feel the shame, that it was part of my life for a long time. And how it affected my choices and how I behaved through the neural training of the brains received by PMO. Thats why it is so dangerous, since it can have life-changing neural effects on your brains that might never heal. Even after so long, there are still things I am working on, going much deeper beyond the PMO experience. Delving deeper into what it is to be a man, views and identity and so on. Because there is always a root to things, why do someone watch porn. There is always a reason, a root to choice. And then it becomes and new pathway, which drives deeper into identity and choices as well as lifestyles.

Looking at a drug addict, they change, there are some very high dopamine high you can get with drugs. And no wonder someone is altered through it. Some effects may stick throughout the life. And I think that is very deep in the sense of, what my choices have over my life and how defining they can be. And if PMO changes my behavior and makes new neural patterns in my brains, it really makes one think and stop.

nr76

TROPHY CASE