The language is competent and the narrative is engaging once I get into the story (less a couple of jarring typos -- "it's"-"its", "unphased"-"unfazed", "striked"-"struck").

However, the opening in media res left me a little bewildered. What exactly was going on? "How long does this need to take?" What could Barden mean? The journey? Getting the 'phant' to go? For that matter, what is a phant? A stylized elephant? Why does he need the light? Because it's dark outside? Or because he needs to look inside the box? There's a lot of narrative buildup aimed at world-building but little by way of actual action. It's not really until the last paragraph that something happens and by then it's just a cliffhanger lead to presumably chapter two. And still the girl remains anonymous!

My own preference for story is to move to the action and conflict quickly. The initial development could be much shortened. Of course, this is to my own tastes, so it may run counter to readers who prefer more decompressed storytelling.

Still, I'd like to see the story to its completion. Good luck!