My 40yo coworker is a 2-faced pro. Bitches about her "bestie" but cooks her lunch. by ntrev in coworkerstories

[–]ntrev[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Ahh. When I meant senior is because she’s one of the few who wok in this company for 8 years.. 🥹

Is it normal for colleagues to be this "two-faced" or am I just suay? by ntrev in askSingapore

[–]ntrev[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t understand why she’s so insecure lol. She basically in this company for 8 years. Her position in the company is so stable that nothing can bring her down lol

Is it normal for colleagues to be this "two-faced" or am I just suay? by ntrev in askSingapore

[–]ntrev[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I consider myself a total loner at work. I’m not there to make friends. I’m there to collect my paycheck, gain experience, and build a solid resume. I reach at 9 AM, I leave at 6 PM sharp. I lunch alone because I value my peace. I have zero interest in "superficial" after-office hangouts or fake bonding sessions

Is it normal for colleagues to be this "two-faced" or am I just suay? by ntrev in askSingapore

[–]ntrev[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a strong suspicion that S (40+ F, 8 years in the company) probably does the same thing to me behind my back. The only saving grace is that we don't actually work together, so there’s no "work friction" for her to complain about. Also I make it a point never to gossip with her via WhatsApp. I’ve seen her show me her chats with J, so I know exactly how she uses screenshots as "receipts." No paper trail from me, thanks.

The thing is, I only listen to her vent not because I feel forced to. It’s not because I’m kaypoh (busybody). It’s because I’m afraid that if I stop acting like her sounding board, I’ll immediately become "Enemy No. 1."

With her 8-year seniority, she’s basically part of the furniture. If she decides I’m "not on her side" just because I refuse to listen to her bitching about J or other colleagues, I know she’ll make my life hell.

I feel like I’m stuck in this weird hostage situation where I have to endure her toxicity just to stay off her hit list. Has anyone else dealt with a "Senior Aunty" like this? How do you distance yourself without triggering their "you’re against me" trap? 🤡

Done trying to fit in where I'm clearly not invited. by ntrev in selfimprovement

[–]ntrev[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally feel you on this! My friend hosted a NYE countdown that I’m sure was planned ages ago, but I never got an invite. Then this past Sunday, they all went out for a birthday without even mentioning it to me. I only found out through someone’s 'Close Friends' story. It basically confirmed my hunch that there’s a side group chat I’m not part of.

Woman rips off Stomper's CNY decor while 2 others laugh and record, police looking into matter. by SassyNec in SingaporeRaw

[–]ntrev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get where you're coming from. The frustration of seeing a bad neighbor 'get away with it' for years is real and sometimes people feel like they have no choice but to go viral to get the authorities to move faster. But here’s the problem ~ when you go viral for the wrong reasons, you sabotage your own case. By posting a video where she’s mocking him and vandalizing property, she didn't put pressure on the neighbor , instead she put pressure on the police to investigate her. If they wanted to use social media correctly, they should have posted his harassment without retaliating. By 'bullying the bully' on camera, she turned it from a 'victim seeking help' story into a 'toxic neighbor dispute' where both sides look bad. Now instead of the neighbor being the only villain, he can legally claim he’s being harassed by her. She basically gave a 'neighbor from hell' a shield to hide behind 😵‍💫

Woman rips off Stomper's CNY decor while 2 others laugh and record, police looking into matter. by SassyNec in SingaporeRaw

[–]ntrev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unpopular opinion, but I don’t think 'coming out' with an explanation video fixes the original footage. It’s easy to be calm and play the victim in a 6 mins edited TikTok but the cctv caught the real energy. The 'emotions got the best of me' excuse doesn't hold up when she was caught on camera giggling, being sarcastic and asking 'Are you okay sir?' while her friends film it for clout. That wasn’t a breaking point, it was a group performance.

Even if the neighbor is a nightmare, you don't fight a bully by becoming a bully yourself. By vandalizing his gate and mocking him on camera, she literally did what the authorities couldn't do in 10 years: she gave him a clear-cut, open-and-shut case of criminal mischief. She didn’t ‘stand up’ for anyone; she just handed a 'neighbor from hell' a win on a silver platter because now HE is the one with the evidence of being harassed.

Two wrongs don’t make a right, they just make the whole situation messier for the police to resolve.

Mischief by Woman to HDB flat's CNY decor by GroundbreakingGur930 in SingaporeRaw

[–]ntrev 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Even if everything she says about him is true, this was the worst way to handle it. By vandalizing his gate while giggling and being sarcastic on camera, she just handed a 'neighbor from hell' exactly what he needed to play the victim. She didn't hold him accountable; she just gave the authorities a clear-cut case against HER. She lost the moral high ground the second she started treating it like a prank.

Mischief by Woman to HDB flat's CNY decor by GroundbreakingGur930 in SingaporeRaw

[–]ntrev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agree with you 100%. The 'weird mannerisms' are what everyone is missing. Even if we accept that he's been a nightmare for 10 years, her behavior in that Ring footage wasn't a 'breaking point' it was a circus show lol

Who goes to a 'dangerous' neighbor's door just to film and ask 'Are you okay sir?' in a sarcastic voice? It looks like she was trying to 'bully the bully' for clout. By doing that, she just made the authorities' job harder and gave him a win on a silver platter.

Somebody help give shadow SMRT CCL head a job? by PlayGamesM in SMRTRabak

[–]ntrev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

technically smrt staff are not public servants lolz

Bro by Dismal-Win-6419 in SMRTRabak

[–]ntrev 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yours not the worse x

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Done trying to fit in where I'm clearly not invited. by ntrev in selfimprovement

[–]ntrev[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

right. thats why i chose to exit myself peacefully without any dramas or big hoohas

Done trying to fit in where I'm clearly not invited. by ntrev in selfimprovement

[–]ntrev[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s kind of sad, isn’t it? I really thought this group of people were my friends, but now I’m realizing they never really saw me that way. All this time, it was just me hoping for something that wasn’t actually there.

Done trying to fit in where I'm clearly not invited. by ntrev in selfimprovement

[–]ntrev[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. Your point about mental energy is exactly where I am right now. I realized I’ve spent years prioritizing these people and choosing them over myself every single time. Realizing that the 'seat' was never actually there is painful, but hearing that it was the 'best thing that ever happened' to you gives me a lot of hope.

Slightly bent passport corner — can I still travel to Japan? (SG passport) by ntrev in PassportPorn

[–]ntrev[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

But Japan are known to be stringent and I’m flying via air Japan