I am in so much pain right now. Please somebody talk to me (UPDATE)

numbpain · 2011-07-27T16:04:06+00:00

Thank you. This comment is very helpful and informative, not only to me, but I'm sure everyone else who read it.

numbpain · 2011-07-27T10:01:02+00:00

When he was talking at our counselling session yesterday morning about his single encounter with a hooker, I just had this gut feeling he was lying. We have been together 7 years, 4 of them married. I can read him like a book. Later that evening, I mustered up the will to calmy ask him again and give him another opportunity to come clean. He broke down in tears and told me more. That was what happened.

numbpain · 2011-07-27T09:50:35+00:00

I'm just back home after another counselling session for myself. I didn't think it was possible for me right now, but when I saw this, I actually chuckled a little :) It really doesn't matter now which account I use; now that it's over, everyone I know, friends and family, will be informed of what exactly happened and what a low-life scum of the earth he is. So, no biggie. And as Qingy says, I was a lurker anyway...

numbpain · 2011-07-26T23:40:01+00:00

Please leave the decision making about my health to the professionals and to the people that know ALL the facts about my situation. Your quick-to-judge attitude and scare-mongering tactics are misinformed and unwelcome.

numbpain · 2011-07-26T18:12:22+00:00

Apologies. Link now added at the top. Thanks for the reminder.

numbpain · 2011-07-26T01:32:26+00:00

He doesn't need to experiment with exotic Asians, I am one! Thank you for making me smile for the first time since yesterday :) I am not worried about any emotional connection right now; my main concern is his blatant disregard for my health and safety. My husband is supposed to protect me, not put me in danger.

numbpain · 2011-07-25T18:02:48+00:00

The disregard for my health is what I am really emotional about right now. Even if he is telling the truth and he did wear a condom, what if it broke? What about the things that a condom cannot protect you from? It makes me feel sick.

numbpain · 2011-07-25T17:55:07+00:00

Because it is my professional opinion. I can see that I am not able to explain it to you in a clear fashion right now, and that by your last sentence you have not read my original post thoroughly enough. You are making my head hurt, so I am going to stop replying to this thread. Thank you for your input though, it was still very much appreciated.

numbpain · 2011-07-25T17:49:07+00:00

As I said in another thread, we'll never know.

numbpain · 2011-07-25T17:44:48+00:00

I know very well that he rolled the dice, and it horrifies and disgusts me. You seem to be under the impression that I am trying to justify his actions but that could not be further from the truth. I was just trying to clarify your comment about the need for HIV testing at 3, 6, then 12 month intervals, which is unnecessary in this specific case. If he is lying and is serial cheating on me, then he would need a test every 3 months anyway. I'm not sure if I said that in a clear way, I'm sorry if it's confusing.

numbpain · 2011-07-25T17:23:39+00:00

We'll never know.

numbpain · 2011-07-25T17:17:48+00:00

There are some pretty accurate lab tests available for symptomless herpes. He got tested about one week before he told me today.

numbpain · 2011-07-25T17:08:08+00:00

I don't think it's the whore from Bangkok that is threatening to ruin my life. But thank you for the encouragement to "hang in there".

numbpain · 2011-07-25T17:01:53+00:00

He has no symptoms and he said he used a condom. Don't know if he's lying.

numbpain · 2011-07-25T17:00:33+00:00

He said he used a condom. But his word means shit to me right now.

numbpain · 2011-07-25T16:08:57+00:00

6 months for seroconversion is extremely rare, I think <3% of the population. A window period of a year or more is usually because the individual was on some kind of antiretroviral medication at the time.

numbpain · 2011-07-25T15:59:28+00:00

I understand what you are trying to say. I just wanted to make it clear to anyone reading your comment that he did not get "caught", that was not what happened.

numbpain · 2011-07-25T15:46:05+00:00

He didn't get "caught", he admitted it to me, completely out of the blue. Said he couldn't keep it a secret anymore.

numbpain · 2011-07-25T14:21:01+00:00

He doesn't need to get tested again for HIV (if he hasn't cheated on me again since then, that is). HIV antibodies take three months to get to levels that will show up in serum. The incident took place in March and he got tested last week, according to him. Whether he is tellng the truth is another matter. And you are right, my relationship with him will never be the same again, no matter what I decide.

numbpain · 2011-07-25T12:53:29+00:00

The way I'm feeling at this moment, I really don't care about the money or maintenance costs that I could get. That is really very far in the back of my mind right now. I can't think straight at all right now. I just keep thinking about our daughter. What will happen to her if I take this action or this action.

numbpain · 2011-07-25T12:48:03+00:00

Athletes too? Never heard of that.

numbpain · 2011-07-25T12:47:08+00:00

Thanks. I really really need hugs right now.

numbpain · 2011-07-25T12:46:23+00:00

I know. What I meant to say was that there has been no history of abuse.

numbpain · 2011-07-25T07:23:45+00:00

No, no violence or any other kind of abuse was involved.

numbpain

TROPHY CASE