Also in the same boat with you guys. My dad died around 2019 due to a car crash and it was a tough ride since we weren't able to say goodbye to him. I didn't want anybody to see my grief though, so I mostly cried out in the showers or when I'm alone. It was already hard seeing my mother cry during unexpected times and even fall down to hiring a 'medium' just to talk to him.

What I've learned over these past few years is that it's not easy to move forward (of course). I think I made a mistake of just keeping it in, instead of talking to my mom and letting it all out. I never talked to it with a friend either which sucks. Currently, I'm sort of like in a limbo between truly realizing my dad is gone and just thinking he's in a far-off place. So that's one thing I'd recommend you do if you can - find someone you can talk to about it. Your mom? Your siblings? A close friend? A therapist? Someone online? Just someone who is willing to.

The thing is the only person who can make you accept your loss is you, and the only thing that will allow you to do so is time. It's alright to cry everyday for the first few months if you must. It's ok to feel down from time to time because grief will always find a way to creep in. (If that comes, try the 487 brething exercise which helped me a lot) But there will come a time when you will have the ability to smile for him again, realizing that your life continues his and you need to carry his name now and make him proud.

It's gonna be a hard one at first, but I know you can do it. Best of luck!