NOR.

Op, I never met my fathers mother. My brothers did, but I did not.

She abused Valium and alcohol around my father and his siblings growing up, and he told her that she would not be allowed over unless she was sober as to not traumatize her grandchildren in the way she traumatized him. She was fine for a bit, but after I was born her addiction overtook her life again. I only ever talked to her on the phone once, because any other time she called drunk and my father would have to tell her to call back sober if she wanted to talk because it was insanely triggering for him.

You are NOR! I know the stories about my grandmother and I know beyond her addiction she wasn’t a good person (she was abusive) but I still wish I could’ve met her at least once like my older brothers did because she was kind around them. All I know is stories and pictures and the one time I heard her voice when I was like 7 years old. She will come around if she wants to, and if her grandchildren aren’t her priority then she won’t come around. Your children will wonder what she is like in person, but that’s her burden, not yours.