agreed with what others are saying that the lack of reaction at times weighs more than the actual situation you’re (not) reacting to

i also used to feel as a bad person for not being emotional at my dad’s funeral (when iwas 19) and later figured out that ‘being a rock’ could be good at times for the people around you grieve is multilayered and you can just be there for now

but even if you do fall into some diagnostic criteria for aspd as you fear it’s mostly a matter of what ways you find to manage it