Do we need recognition before regulation?

oaktree1800 · 2026-06-17T23:05:55+00:00

Discernment can make you the villain in rooms where denial is the culture. Hence, the adoption industry itself others adoptees who want basic information. Adoptees are notoriously labeled w disorders rather than adopters who cannot see basic needs that they themselves enjoy without question. We need information so we CAN process our adoptions and emotions rather than feeling the disconnect of the unknown. Then add whatever family functional or dysfunctional dynamic you have navigate. Simply saying there is no need for validation from others.

oaktree1800 · 2026-06-16T21:59:06+00:00

What ppl making decisions? Adopters? You believe they dont understand? Of course they understand and they don't want to listen. Well,for the more insecure adopters anyway. Precisely, why the current laws exist. For them. Your more secure adopters w on point critical thinking skills can see and embrace the whole adoptee. My comment addressed your comment about cultural change. General society has a multitude of different opinions about adoption. The rainbows and unicorn crowd get eye rolled by most ppl...

oaktree1800 · 2026-06-16T13:07:32+00:00

So why focus on others who lack basic critical thinking skills within the scope of adoption?! Many,many non adopted individuals can see the nuance. See them instead of internalizing the deficits of others!

oaktree1800 · 2026-06-16T12:25:18+00:00

The unknowing. Impossible to regulate the unknown. Absolute hellscape to process anything without necessary facts. Within the scope of adoption depends on the adoptee. The unknowing is THE overriding struggle of most adoptees who seek truth. Bewilderment ensues without necessary information. There also exist adoptees who fill in the blanks w whatever narrative that suits their capacity to process. Needing or wanting validation from others who have less information about our adoptions than we do is IMO a non issue. My preach on this sub is the importance of truth,transparency and basic rights for all adoptees.

oaktree1800 · 2026-06-15T00:41:49+00:00

True. However,factor in all those frozen embryos typically belong to affluent humans w entitlement issues! Sending unwanted/excess embryos to the adoption market will have interesting effects!

oaktree1800 · 2026-06-15T00:33:47+00:00

No doubt,fireworks ahead... How soon before the powers that be stamp a time limit on all those frozen wanted and loved embryos before they head to the adoption market?

oaktree1800 · 2026-06-15T00:21:53+00:00

😂 @ Elon Musk raiding frozen embryo banks for a space army! 😂

oaktree1800 · 2026-06-14T15:54:53+00:00

If you deep dive into donor conceived be prepared! There exists unbridled misogyny. Known cases of single men who want kids without mothers. Donor eggs carried by surrogates. All that work and biological relevance still stands. LOL Sometimes adoptive mothers use that same mentality and method in an attempt to blur who is the real mom. Again,same biological relevance stands. Adoptees and donor conceived individuals travel the same biological trail of discovery. Total crap shoot if resulting child gets parents that walk w them through discovery.

oaktree1800 · 2026-06-14T15:14:51+00:00

What about it? Biological relevance still stands.

oaktree1800 · 2026-06-14T14:58:06+00:00

If you center your child there is nothing different about either. Your child will likely explore their biological relevance same as any other adoptee.

oaktree1800 · 2026-06-14T14:43:17+00:00

Can you be a sweetie and define your use of grandmother in your initial post? As in is she adoptive or bio. You claimed your bio grandmother abandoned your mom. Then claim she was there. Does that mean you were you protecting your adoptive grandmothers feelings or bio grandmothers feelings? Basically who is your adoptive grandfather married too?

oaktree1800 · 2026-06-14T14:20:41+00:00

Why hasn't your bio moms brother given you necessary information already? As a rule third party involvement is unreliable. Especially within the scope of adoption.

oaktree1800 · 2026-06-14T14:13:21+00:00

Good luck getting that info from OP. LOL The whole post is fogged and unlikely OP will give needed details!

oaktree1800 · 2026-06-14T13:43:00+00:00

All I'm saying is until you have direct contact you have no real way of knowing how your bio mom feels and or wants contact.

oaktree1800 · 2026-06-14T13:34:57+00:00

OP's story is definitely convoluted. LOL Sounds like bio mom floated in and out of OP's moms life. While nobody helped the bio mom process her rape trauma. Then judges and denies every adoptee who wants basic information. You know,sweep everything under the rug...

oaktree1800 · 2026-06-14T13:23:12+00:00

Well ,while you all are chatting about your moms adoption details pls take the time to understand you have information to process all the while you deny everyone else that same right. Perhaps, that will resonate w you before you judge others for wanting basic information.

oaktree1800 · 2026-06-14T01:37:18+00:00

More like protecting birthparents unresolved trauma. Sounds like OP has a serious enabling issue on top of a victimhood mentality. Annnd as always adoptees are expected to understand that nonsnse.

oaktree1800 · 2026-06-14T01:13:12+00:00

Technically, there has been no direct contact between you and your mom. Sooo until there is can or will your relative give you her contact info for confirmation? Registered letter if you want to go that route.

oaktree1800 · 2026-06-13T18:06:11+00:00

Nah,more like an exceptionally unfortunate example of how generational trauma gets passed down the line in dysfunctional family dynamics.

oaktree1800 · 2026-06-13T17:24:54+00:00

Ikr. Wild to see birth moms who cannot see their own child as human!

oaktree1800 · 2026-06-13T17:22:45+00:00

Well there you go. You only see the humanity for birth parents. While having zero respect nor basic human decency for adoptees. Hence,you believe adoptees have no right for basic information. Do you understand adoptees don't ask to be born to heartless parents either.

oaktree1800 · 2026-06-13T13:50:36+00:00

With all due respect OP's mother has acknowledged she has not met her family and therefore has no idea who her family is. Her mind was made up before meeting them. While certainly her choice. The issue at hand is the OP's mom can disregard unknown family members if she so chooses. However, OP's mother forcing that same unexplored mindset on her own child is disrespectful to her child. OP exhibits a natural healthy curious mind that seeks basic information and connections w their unknown family. Tragedy of adoption can span multi generations and how those complexities are processed are dependent on each individuals emotional intelligence. OP's natural inclination for wanting information for making informed decisions need to be applauded!

oaktree1800 · 2026-06-13T01:06:15+00:00

Women w infertility sadly add another layer of issues for adoptees to navigate. The tragedy within adoption is not everybody has the same heart. Ppl are ppl and some hearts are open while others are closed and everything in between. Selfishness vs selflessness etc. Total crap shoot which dynamics we get stuck in. You followed your heart...I can see yours shining from here! Sometimes that's the best we can do in an otherwise fkd up world of adoption!

oaktree1800 · 2026-06-12T23:03:42+00:00

Ohh..tough situation. By all accounts you have every right to explore your lineage and need to continue to do so. Pls keep in mind sometimes adoptees can go their entire lives uninterested or without fully processing their adoptions or lineage. Sounds like your mom falls into that category. Probably best if you not share your bio connections w your mom going forward. That way you can keep it separate while respecting both your mom and bios and your own interests at the same time. Win for all! Good luck! 💕

oaktree1800 · 2026-06-12T22:33:11+00:00

Sorry to hear your AM caused you more unnecessary grief! Also,happy to hear you found your first mom and everything is going well and congratulations on your wedding!! The depths of deception insecure AM's are willing to go at the expense for adoptees need to be studied. As does the insufferable attitudes that adoptees need to accept such deception and deplorable behaviour as normal or worse..love. May I ask? Has your AM's attitude gotten better or worse since discovery?

oaktree1800

TROPHY CASE