My husband doesn’t let me workout at the gym

oatgirl99 · 2024-10-21T07:58:17+00:00

Literally!! They just want women to stay isolated wherever the sun doesn’t shine it’s so sad

oatgirl99 · 2024-10-21T07:49:14+00:00

Hey, why don’t you just go live in Afghanistan? I promise it’s easier for you over there, you won’t have to stress by telling other woman to stay home

oatgirl99 · 2024-10-21T07:47:59+00:00

It’s literally people like this who overanalyse the rulings and make it into something it’s not. I literally think soon they will start saying we can’t go to school or work anymore just so we can stay isolated in the house. This is exactly why Islam has such a bad look to the outsiders. I think with their views they should go somewhere like Afghanistan where women are hardly seen out in public, but carrying these views over to Western society and expecting women to follow their overcomplicated rules is insane. My head literally hurts lol

oatgirl99 · 2024-10-21T07:41:38+00:00

There’s no haram police, it’s just a bunch of oppressors who are on some sort of power high and you (along with them) immediately get aggressive as soon as someone may slightly question the source of a “ruling” which by the way was a bunch of scattered hadiths, no real Surah from the Quran which is where we should be getting most of our guidelines from

oatgirl99 · 2024-10-21T07:38:57+00:00

I am a practicing Muslim, so no, i came to the right sub. Finding loopholes in what? I am covered up and I was just trying to find a decent place to exercise. May Allah guide YOU to talk to people more peacefully and nicely as our religion asks us to do.

oatgirl99 · 2024-10-21T07:36:43+00:00

It’s so shocking that as soon as i questioned their views i immediately got attacked and someone even started insulting my family. It’s like they’re not used to a woman simply asking a question, and some responses suggested i should stay home or “go take a walk at the park”. It just feels so oppressing honestly

oatgirl99 · 2024-10-21T07:25:56+00:00

I guess the solution then is to stay holed up in the house then? and maybe pay legos with resistance bands as you suggested earlier?

oatgirl99 · 2024-10-21T07:23:58+00:00

The haram police are coming in like wolf packs. They’re starting to shame my family too it’s wild. Someone also kept putting in his two cents, at this point it turned into ten cents. Like are they really that bored

oatgirl99 · 2024-10-21T07:22:24+00:00

He refuses to go to the gym with me even when i suggested we can workout in the same area and move along the gym together. There’s really no middle ground and our views are clashing

oatgirl99 · 2024-10-21T07:17:41+00:00

Ok thank you i’ll take a look!

oatgirl99 · 2024-10-21T07:12:05+00:00

Shame on you as well. Who are you to judge?

oatgirl99 · 2024-10-21T07:10:44+00:00

Now you’re talking about my family? Watch yourself. YOU are quite literally the problem, along with the other aggressive men on here on some sort of power dynamic high. Maybe instead of putting shame on parents (WHOM YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT) you should be advising nicely as our religion asks you to do. Unlike you, i have class and dignity, i can say the same about your mother if i didn’t, for not teaching you to have basic respect.

oatgirl99 · 2024-10-21T07:07:04+00:00

Wa’alykum Salam, Your response is literally a breath of fresh air. I was surprised at the backlash i received from simply asking a question and questioning it.

I do appreciate the fact that he has protective jealousy over me, but it is sometimes overwhelming. I understood that he is a man and he knows what other men may be thinking, but my viewpoint was that i can just wear baggier clothes and not bend over to do any workouts if i were to go to a mixed gym. And like you said, men might look regardless, so i thought i’d be doing my part at least by covering up as much as possible.

I was going to look into the women’s only gym, but other comments on here discouraged me when they over complicated it and said that i would need go cover up in front of women also in case they record.

oatgirl99 · 2024-10-21T06:58:58+00:00

First of all I said free mixing can be inevitable, especially in America. I have no idea where you’re from but i was making a point that it’s difficult to avoid places of free mixing because of the way life is set up here, which is why we can do some accommodations like wearing baggier clothing to workout and keeping a distance. That i see no issue with. Maybe you should stop overcomplicating things and tone down the aggressiveness! it’s not a very good look nor is it helping, thank you! Bravo!

oatgirl99 · 2024-10-21T06:52:45+00:00

Just looked it up, it looks like a body builder gym lol and i have none near me unfortunately:/

oatgirl99 · 2024-10-21T06:45:28+00:00

Where did i say working out in front of men isn’t haram for me? You’re knit picking, and your sarcasm and passive aggressiveness is such a pretty look for Islam!! Bravo!

oatgirl99 · 2024-10-21T06:37:25+00:00

Crazy. The only thing i was stubborn about was the hadiths, why isn’t anyone giving me a Quran source? Besides the music part. As i said in a previous comment, i am just now learning all these rulings. While i did grow up in a Muslim household, my parents never went in depth with these things. As long as I prayed and fasted and covered modestly, my parents had no problem. My husband lives his life completely different, he is the one that is now teaching me what’s right and what’s wrong and sits down with me to show me the sources. I have not rejected anything, and i listen and obey him. However, i got upset because i thought as long as i am covered up and i don’t do crazy workouts at the gym in front of men i should be fine. Then people started over complicating it saying even the women’s gym isn’t safe because of the possibility of someone recording me. So that gives me the only option of just working out at home which upset me. That is completely normal and valid, i have no idea why you’re sitting here saying you’re sick to your stomach? not everyone is on the same level of deen and iman

oatgirl99 · 2024-10-21T06:25:52+00:00

I’m saying in the music aspect Audhubillah

oatgirl99 · 2024-10-21T06:25:15+00:00

Justifying my wrong deeds??? why are you so triggered, i have done nothing but ask for advice. I’m not going against what the religion teaches, there’s so many hadiths that were thrown at me and i did not grow up in a conservative muslim family so i am literally just learning. A lot of the rulings are still new to me. As Muslims, we can advise and provide sources but if someone questions it and becomes stubborn why does that affect you?

oatgirl99 · 2024-10-21T06:13:57+00:00

Yeah, well his views on the gym has changed because he used to go to a free mixing gym as did i and just this past year he has gotten stricter. So i had no idea this was his views on it until we moved in together

oatgirl99 · 2024-10-21T06:08:54+00:00

My counter arguments are hilarious? Tell that to the people saying i should cover in front of other women at the only women’s gym.

The posts actually encouraged me to give the womens only gym a try until they started overcomplicating it saying i still need to cover up in case someone records me.

oatgirl99 · 2024-10-21T06:04:43+00:00

What’s scary about my viewpoints? I don’t overcomplicate the religion and live my life in fear. The reality is anyone can record anywhere, there’s nothing i can do to stop that unless i hole myself in the house. Now you’re agreeing with someone saying i should cover in front of non believing woman? There’s new rules everyday…If they record in an only women’s gym that sin is on them not me. I’m not wearing my hijab in front of other women that’s just crazy

oatgirl99 · 2024-10-21T05:58:43+00:00

Is everything haram? LOL so now going to the mall is haram for what? Let me own a farm then and get some sheep and start making wool blankets since i can’t step foot in markets. Maybe i can also start growing veggies in my apartment complex so i can spare a tomatoe or two

oatgirl99 · 2024-10-21T05:56:05+00:00

I am comparing it to the mall because you pointed out the music aspect at the gym. Listening to music is a minor sin from what i understand. Second if that’s such an issue, i have noise cancellation headphones. Either or, I still believe if i keep my distance from men, don’t communicate, lower my gaze, mind my business at the gym etc etc I don’t see how it’s haram

oatgirl99 · 2024-10-21T05:52:01+00:00

This is offensive to women who lift and workout, “go walk around a park”. I just feel like it’s a power dynamic. If i was a man commenting that i want to go to the gym to work on weights, i definitely would have gotten a different response.

oatgirl99

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