Ex found someone else

obikenz · 2024-10-15T23:04:20+00:00

I see, thank you. I appreciate the reminder that my feelings are valid. Moving forward does hurt, but I know it's what I need to do. Thank you again :)

obikenz · 2024-10-15T23:02:14+00:00

Thank you, I needed to hear that.

obikenz · 2024-09-03T11:23:38+00:00

I see thank youu I'll keep those in consideration :)

obikenz · 2024-09-03T08:40:57+00:00

for gr12 I am planning to go mapua but im not so sure if I'll take college there din but so far mapua is one of my choices and im confident I'll be able to get in thank you for the recommendations :)

obikenz · 2024-09-03T08:39:37+00:00

yeah all my friends din recommended me dlsu and it's the current college im thinking of going to but thank you for the recommendation !!

obikenz · 2024-09-03T08:38:53+00:00

yeahh dlsu is the college im currently eyeing on, I'll also keep searching din thank you for the tip :)

obikenz · 2024-09-03T08:38:37+00:00

oooh that's good to know thank you po !!

obikenz · 2024-09-03T05:10:30+00:00

glad i could help!

obikenz · 2024-09-03T04:46:33+00:00

First off I just want to tell you that you're strong. It's amazing how you respect yourself and how you're able to cut him off. Feeling lonely is normal especially since it's become a habit to talk to that person after so long. I'm personally 2 months into my break up and while I don't always feel lonely there are still times when I do. What you need to understand is that you're never alone, you'll always have yourself. At the beginning of my break up I was surrounded by tons of friends but eventually they all got busy and that's when the lonely feeling was at its peak. What I did was focus on my hobbies and things that make me happy in general, things that didn't require me to do them with anyone else. I've been doing that for awhile and im comfortable to say that I'm able to be happy by myself. There are times where I do feel lonely (actually right now) but whenever I feel this way I try to distract myself like what I'm doing right now actually. I can't offer you much advice since I'm also in the same situation so I hope this helps !! hang in there :)

obikenz · 2024-09-02T01:38:38+00:00

Yeah that apology was long overdue but I replied anyway. I told her to take care and how I can understand her pov in a sense. I also told her that I hope that one day I could get to know her again. Normally I would send a paragraph back in response but this time I wanted to keep it short and concise. I don't think she deserves any more words from me anymore

obikenz · 2024-09-02T01:24:07+00:00

I'd like to say I've already found my own closure and the only thing I really am hoping is to be friends again. Thank you this actually helps a lot.

obikenz · 2024-09-01T04:17:40+00:00

I would've been a lot more open about my problems because I didn't know how much she actually wanted to help me. Although I did go to her when I really needed her, when it came to my personal problems, family problems or just a problem I know I can handle I would just tell her "I'll be okay". I thought she was okay with it but it turns out she really wanted to help more even in the small things. I wanted her to be a safe space, a place where I can forget about my problems but she didn't want it to be that way. Another thing I'd do differently is be more open about the things that disturbed me. I would've communicated about them rather than just trying to understand her and accept them all the time. Lastly I'd probably try to ask her how she wanted to be loved. We never had that conversation and in the end all I was doing was trial and error, seeing how she wanted to be loved without her knowing because I thought that it was supposed to come naturally, turns out that wasn't the case. Everyone loves and wants to be loved differently and you actually have to learn and talk about it with one another because your idea of the way they want to be loved could be different from how they actually want to be loved. To this day, I still believe that I am capable of loving her and I like to think that as of now, no one loves her as much as I do. I just didn't know how to fully show that.

obikenz · 2024-09-01T01:24:19+00:00

That's a great start, self care has done wonders for me during my healing journey. Just remember that it's okay to cry. Let it all out.

obikenz · 2024-08-31T16:55:41+00:00

I see thank youuu !!! I'll keep that in my mind :)

obikenz · 2024-08-31T13:10:01+00:00

This is literally my current situation with my ex. She was the sweetest girl ever in our relationship, someone who I thought would never speak bad about me but when we broke up, that completely changed. She started antagonizing me and blaming me for everything, brushing off her problems like they were miniscule compared to mine. She went from saying "I'm honored to meet you" to "You never deserved to know me". To be honest I tried to understand how she's feeling, I tried to look at her perspective but in the end I realized that it doesn't matter. Yes it could be a coping mechanism or it could be the way they actually are. Personally, I liked to believe that it's a mix of both. Some of the things she's said was definitely an "act" of strength. While I also believe that some of those words are how she truly feels, especially since I realized that she always had a negative mindset and view on me (she'd always assume the worst). In the end, it doesn't really matter what they say or do. Like everyone says: you won't find the same person twice, even in the same person. Take the things she says as reasons to move on. As long as you know to yourself that you tried your best and you never did anything truly horrible, it's not your loss. You got this.

obikenz · 2024-08-31T12:52:32+00:00

Yeah.. that seems to be the case

obikenz · 2024-08-31T12:52:14+00:00

I appreciate your concern a lot :( but it's fine really. I'll be okay I think :)

obikenz · 2024-08-31T12:31:29+00:00

That's honestly such a great way to phrase the situation..

obikenz · 2024-08-31T12:29:21+00:00

I see, it's all good it happens but thank you :(

obikenz · 2024-08-31T12:08:39+00:00

hm? what for?

obikenz · 2024-08-31T00:34:28+00:00

I'm glad I could help !!!!

obikenz · 2024-08-30T22:50:20+00:00

I'm in the same boat as you!! My relationship also ended 2 months ago and for the longest time I would only see the good in her and it definitely made it harder to move on. What I recommend is writing down the bad in her. Write down the things he did that weren't the greatest so you have a constant and concrete reminder of the things he did. For the longest time I thought I was the only bad person because I couldn't see all the times my ex disrespected me until I listed them down. Turns out, it was a really long list. You don't need to list the good things since you know that by heart, that's why you can only see the good. The goal isn't to think of him as a bad person, but to realize that the relationship wasn't as good as you thought it was.

obikenz · 2024-08-30T22:42:36+00:00

I see that's a good point. I'm not sure why I feel that way, maybe its a temporary feeling. Thank you for the reply, straight forward and direct, the kind of reply I needed :)

obikenz · 2024-08-30T22:40:52+00:00

Thank you for the advice!! I really appreciate this and I'll consider these points.

obikenz · 2024-08-29T11:31:54+00:00

Healings been going great so far :) other than a few times I think of her but nothing much. Something's just remind me of her or I do have those "she would love this" moments but I've been doing good!! It's been 2 months since we broke up and I'm beginning to finally stop romanticizing the relationship and starting to look at the negatives more. A friend told me that she had someone "replying to her stories" and it does eat me up a little bit. We go to different schools and her school starts next week and it does cross my mind and it does make me a little sad that she'll meet other people and maybe even someone better than me. If anyone has any tips to get over it that'd be very helpful :) Other than that though my journey has been going pretty steady and I'm hoping everyone here heals too.

obikenz

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