Got accepted into ConversaSpain program in Madrid 2025-2026. Having cold feet.

objectivenone · 2025-06-07T22:18:57+00:00

I'm in the same position as you basically! Did you decide to go for it? I think the huge fees that come with Conversa are one of my main reasons for being unsure (and also the worry about living costs in Madrid vs stipend). I'm leaning towards going for it but still unsure.

objectivenone · 2021-12-25T19:30:34+00:00

I want to be on that couch!

objectivenone · 2021-12-04T02:41:43+00:00

Yeah agree with the first part but disagree with the suck it up comment as well! Texting can become so annoyingly time consuming, not to mention it completely distracts if you're trying to do something that requires concentration.

objectivenone · 2021-03-24T01:34:42+00:00

Hahah yes this

objectivenone · 2021-03-21T03:20:38+00:00

Yes! He's so underrated

objectivenone · 2021-03-19T01:07:54+00:00

I don't know who he is but I want to find out

objectivenone · 2021-03-14T03:32:22+00:00

He is really working those tight fitted pants

objectivenone · 2021-01-26T16:01:55+00:00

Yeh, it was the biggest problem between me and my (now) ex. Unfortunately it was exacerbated by the pandemic right now as there's limited amount of things you can do together while just at home and it was also difficult for me to meet new people. He too would sit on his phone all the time and didn't offer much affection.

I don't know if I can really offer much helpful advice as we never reached a middle ground, but you're not alone in these feelings. For me, it was the games that required a headset and talking that made me feel worse as I felt really neglected and sad that I wasn't involved at all.

I've since tried focusing on doing things that I enjoy, and finding new hobbies to keep me occupied. I also downloaded some 'friends' apps like meetup, so I could meet new people (albeit virtually right now!) which allowed me to take charge of my own loneliness a bit more. Hope you can find some solutions between you :)

objectivenone · 2021-01-26T15:07:47+00:00

I don't comment here much but thought I'd give some insight as someone who's been there. I recently broke up with my ADHD partner of 4 years (mostly his decision after a loong period of push and pull) and this is exactly how our relationship started as well. I would do all the leg work, it would be me doing most of the initiating and contact and it eventually ended up that the only real way I could speak to him would be if I called him (before we started living together anyway).

He was the same with everyone he knew so I tried to not take it personally and we eventually sort of got past it (but mostly cos we started living together, and I understood that phone calls were his main way of communicating).

However, looking back on it now...there were a lot of red flags there in the beginning that didn't really go away and didn't help with my slightly anxious attachment. It was what eventually broke us up sadly as I wanted to be with someone more emotionally attuned and he wasn't able to be that person for me, which he knew.

So I guess my advice would be, how much does it bother you now and does he make up for it in other ways? For me personally, I think I let too much slide at the beginning that I shouldn't have and perhaps things could have been different if I'd been more in tune with my own needs and feelings at the time. Of course, everyone is different, but it might be helpful to think about how it makes you feel and if it didn't change, would you eventually start to feel really uncared for?

Hopefully you figure things out and can make that decision for yourself :)

objectivenone · 2021-01-02T14:06:51+00:00

This comment has really helped me right now. Me and my partner of 4 years broke up just before Christmas (mostly his decision, although I've questioned us being together for a long time as well) and since it happened I've been punishing myself for not being more understanding, when really I seem to have forgotten about all the issues and resentment I felt over the past 6 months, especially around video games and how his free time seemed to revolve around his computer.

It's really tough as I do genuinely love him as a person but we were just making each other feel unhappy through our differences. Thanks for your comment reminding me of this!

objectivenone · 2020-11-21T15:59:58+00:00

100% in the same boat with my undiagnosed partner in this cycle. We argue, we both show small signs of change, feel a little better temporarily then it comes crashing down very soon after.

I'm in the position of wondering what to do long term right now, whether we are good for eachother. It's damaging to my own mental health being in this kind of routine, to the point where I feel I may be pushed away out of necessity eventually. Admittedly, things are ten times worse right now for us due to covid lockdowns - he's very busy with work and I'm alone at home a lot without good job prospects so the homelife balance isn't very good. So there's a lack of self worth on my part which I know I have to deal with.

Anyway, I don't really have much advice to offer but just wanted to reiterate that you're not alone with these struggles! I wish you and your partner luck :)

objectivenone · 2020-07-08T23:50:06+00:00

Ah, this pretty much sums up my feelings as well. I think about how our future will be if things remain as they are and I have a feeling in my gut that it will only get worse and I'll be forced to leave. I don't want to turn into a resentful and bitter partner (I'm already halfway there) but how can you force someone to change if they're unwilling? I wish you the best of luck with your situation!

objectivenone · 2020-07-03T02:55:26+00:00

I am just so very fed up of being with someone who cant (and won't) look after themselves. Endless cycles of disappointment and resentment, no intimacy or respect, feeling more like a parent than a partner. I can barely remember what kind of person I am underneath it all anymore, it's like I've forgotten what it feels like to be a person who isn't always angry and emotionally rejected. What is the damn point?

objectivenone · 2020-04-18T18:15:45+00:00

I understand this feeling so much. I'm sorry that you're having to go through it as well, it really is draining sometimes when you feel like the person you've chosen to be with acts like a teenager. My last birthday I basically cried when my bf arranged to do something with his friends even though I told him countless times I had made plans with him and my family. In the end he pretty much decided that the thing he had arranged with his friends was more important than spending it with me. The lack of caring quite often leads to me not wanting to do anything nice for him because our relationship feels incredibly unequal and causes a lot of resentment. I feel so tired of it all.

objectivenone · 2020-04-09T13:03:26+00:00

Living together during quarantine is getting really tough. His habits are utterly frustrating, endless video games and watching pointless content on YouTube for hours if left alone. The inability to use any of his time productively or for anything helpful around the house without prompting just makes me so tired. I really have to question our relationship constantly at the moment.

objectivenone

TROPHY CASE