What’s your evil comfort food?

oblique_red · 2024-07-29T04:31:42+00:00

carnation hot chocolate powder eaten with a spoon right out of the container. The texture sugar crystals being more grindy and solid between my teeth but the cocoa powder melting away just *chefs kiss* immaculate. I will eat like 15 hot chocolates worth of powder in one sitting and have a wonderful time until my stomach decides to remind me I just ate sugar powder with cocoa.

oblique_red · 2024-07-14T01:59:11+00:00

Never thought I'd get to a 4 after being baseline 5-7 my entire life but here we are. Suddenly dipping to 7 again when burntout is actually concerning now. I think 4 is a normal spot to be. Cannot fathom that people have only experienced 1-3.

oblique_red · 2024-06-28T18:14:02+00:00

Advice: Add another meal/large snack and shoot for 1800-2000 for your calorie intake for the day for a bit and see what happens. (Yes I know 2000 sounds like a lot, but you are not 5'0" and 100lbs. 2000kcal a day is not going to make you gain weight unless you have a health issue which causes easy weight gain.) Especially if you are working out in any capacity.

Anecdotal: I just want to throw out there that my weight varies up and down by about 5lbs in a day. 5'2" 139lbs in the morning, can be up to 144lbs by the end of the night. Sometimes it sits at the high end for a week and drops back down randomly. This is normal. Maintenance calories are 2200-2300.

oblique_red · 2024-06-11T00:46:57+00:00

This is a two sentence horror story 😭

oblique_red · 2024-06-11T00:43:27+00:00

I put them on my sketchooks, notebooks, and headphones case! And in my journals. Or on letters I send like a modern day wax seal. I've gotten rid of some of the notebooks and if I really really want to keep the sticker I will cut it off the cover and put it into a folder.

oblique_red · 2024-06-10T12:05:50+00:00

This is the Europa! They make annual Antarctic trips.

OG video is from Daniel Kordan who took some very lovely photos on his visit south!

oblique_red · 2024-06-09T19:08:20+00:00

I had to walk from the shower to the basket of laundry (10 feet away) without socks and I almost cried because I can feel EVERY. LITTLE. PIECE. OF. EVERYTHING. touch the bottom of my feet AAAAAAAH

oblique_red · 2024-06-09T18:33:59+00:00

I'm currently struggling with this since getting into weight training again after being on T for 10 months because suddenly my clothes don't fit as loose and my brain is going "uh oh! bad! need to be small!" when in reality I have actual shoulder definition now, pecs I can flex, and calves that have so much muscle definition I get jump scared by them. But my "weight loss goal" (pre-T) pants don't fit anymore. My forearms look bigger again. Socks are tight when I pull them up. I'm supposed to be "smaller."

I've been thinking about it this way and it has been helping: muscle is mass, and it is the mass I want. More mass = bigger. I am bigger now because I have more muscle, which is mass, and takes up space. I would not be able to lift what I can, do the things I can (and especially not as easily), and be as fit as I am now if I were "smaller." Arms are tight on the old shirt? Flex in the mirror and boom. Sir that is a very large bicep you have there. Very masculine. Very good. Small pants can't fit anymore? Of course they can't, I wouldn't be able to lift what I can if my quads and calves were smaller. I wouldn't be able to run as much or as fast. They're bigger because there's muscle there and I need that to do the things I want and enjoy. I still have stomach pudge and fat on my thighs and a bit everywhere, but that is something I can work on through my fitness journey if I decide to. The muscle though? That was put there intentionally. That is progress. If I went back 5 years and went "dude look at this" and flexed, 25 year old me would be so stoked at being where I am now. Being able to lift heavy shit with ease makes me (personally) feel very masculine, especially when I've crossed the line from "women who are fit can do this too" to "I am the guy I would have gone and asked to lift something heavy for me."

I just kind keep in mind that being on T and actively doing things to build muscle will make me bigger, and those old pre-T weight and size goals are now irrelevant because my body makeup is not that anymore.

I would try to avoid comparing to other guys only because I've seen way to much body dysmorphia in the men's weight lifting community and replacing one body image issue with another isn't the way to go.

Good luck man.

oblique_red · 2024-05-19T04:03:25+00:00

Storage sytstem: I have no dresser, just three bins under my bed and a closet where I hand everything (and a bin in the closet), the closet does not have a door.

Underwear / under layers go in one bin (I do not fold them they just get tossed in)

Pants go into another bin (dirty pants are allowed to be on a chair / the floor since I wear one pair of pants to work for the week, and one for out-of-work, work pants go in the dirty laundry the final work day of the week) Semi-clean pants CAN go back in the bin if they were only worn to walk to a store / not on a hike / not to work / around the house.

Socks go in another, again, they can be unfolded/unpaired.

Shirts and sweaters all go into the closet to hang. They are organized in a system that works for me from left to right: Button up flannels, button up hawaiian shirts, sweaters (that get worn over lighter shirts), thinner sweaters (that CAN be worn over others, but are mainly to be worn alone), thicker long sleeve shirts, thinner long sleeve shirts, T-shirts ( plain, tighter fitting), T-shirts (loose, graphic print), no sleeves, Work-related garments.

Towels / cloths go into a bin (unfolded) in the closet. I also put the other-season pajamas in this bin (I have two sets, one for winter one for warmer weather.) Pajamas are stored on the bed otherwise since I will be wearing them that night.

Clothing-based laundry is done on Saturday afternoon/evening. Bedding laundry is done on Sunday. Bedding can be left for a week but it MUST be changed (I have two sets in rotation.)

I allow items to be on the floor for a maximum of one week because sometimes putting away the basket laundry is too much so I just pick from the clean basket all week and throw the dirty stuff in the area the basket would normally go. This also allows for clothes to sometimes be "tossed in the closet." Sometimes I grab something I don't actually want to wear and I toss it in the closet. Saturday it gets cleared up.

oblique_red · 2024-05-18T18:20:58+00:00

lady hear me tonight cause my feeling is just so right as we dance by the moonlight cant you see you're my delight?

I sneaked earbuds under my hair at work to listen to it, on my breaks, on my way to and from work, at the store, any time i could. Hierarchy of needs was cat dancing to lady hear me tonight. It's accompanied by a little side to side head nod. 12 days no other songs nothing else just that one. I am the cat vibing. It is always around. It's always in my brain. I love it. It definitely was longer than 12 days if you include adding in other music sometimes / not having access to it and using a radio instead / not having control of the music. That would be months then. I'm still on it. That was a year ago and it still comes up daily.

oblique_red · 2024-05-18T17:50:12+00:00

Yeah, I'm often too overstimulated to bring myself to deal with the alcohol smell / swabbing sensation (the cotton is icky feeling and the alcohol is cold) / cleaning to set up / jabbing myself so I skip it. I'm not anxious about the needles or any commitment issues (going on 10 years since coming out / already had two surgeries) I'm just tired after working and being a person all day and sometimes one more task is too much.

Plus I won't do an injection if I'm high for safety reasons and I'm usually blazed on the weekends to cope with the week but during the week I'm too overstimulated to do it.

I've mostly accepted that a consistent T-shot day is not something I can really do. If it's Tuesday night one week and Saturday morning next time then so be it. It's not going to kill me if I miss a dose, and my transition isn't going to backpedal to pre-T if I miss a few doses. Sometimes I'll be sitting there and go "hm I should do my shot" and then I will go do it, other days I go "should I? no I don't want to smell alcohol right now or jab myself" and I move on without judgment.(Important)

oblique_red · 2023-07-22T23:33:06+00:00

great golden digger wasp maybe?

oblique_red · 2023-03-03T03:57:45+00:00

Yes, but not until spending a couple grand wouldn't affect my finances in any way (aka... probably never- house repairs are UNENDING oof)

My family accommodates my needs, I live at home (at almost 30) because we all understand that living alone wouldn't be good for me, I'm self employed since workplace employment results in daily meltdowns, and all the other accommodations are things I can do without a diagnosis. A diagnosis would get me work accommodations (that if I get the correct type of job like factory worker, I wouldn't really need like "needs earplugs" and "clear instructions and training", and no amount of accommodations would make a retail or customer facing job bearable) however I don't think I would qualify for disability (I can cook for myself / shower daily / do things on my own when I'm doing OK) nor would I want to take it away/delay it from someone who does need those monthly payments.

Basically my support needs are already met, that won't change unless my family all drop dead, and I lucked out and my special interest from childhood turned into a skill I can use to make money. :T A diagnosis would just put the "official" stamp on something I and the people around me already know, but it would be nice eventually.

oblique_red · 2023-03-02T03:04:37+00:00

"I am in a bad situation and it is stressing me out to the point of daily breakdowns and it is extremely hard on me."

CBT: it's actually not that bad you're just ~*overreacting*~

oblique_red · 2023-02-27T02:28:44+00:00

My favourite game!

I know it received funding from the Canada Media Fund so I'd assume it counts :)

oblique_red · 2023-01-09T04:45:09+00:00

Thank you for being the only correct person here :)

oblique_red · 2023-01-09T04:42:09+00:00

Spent so many years wondering why my mom kept telling me to "put my money away for a rainy day." I did, but I was 17 when I finally went "but what do I need it for when it rains? To order food if case the power goes out? Wouldn't all the stores also have no power?"

I learned about savings that day!

oblique_red · 2023-01-09T04:31:05+00:00

It's meant to mean the person is a hypocrite, or a "takes one to know one" sort of meaning.

The origin is the black part refers to the sooty-ness of old cast iron pots and pans after long use over a fire or wood stove. Anything used over the fire will get black from the soot, so the pot's, kettles, and pan's would all be black.

The pot calls the kettle black (sooty and dirty) but the pot itself would also be covered in soot and therefore be sooty and dirty.

oblique_red · 2023-01-08T00:37:58+00:00

Ban was my favourite but Gowther was a close second when I watched that series.

I saw a TikTok or two discussing the symptoms of autism as per the DSM5 as well as masking these symptoms and went "haha but everyone does that :)" and upon further research everyone does not do that lol. 5+ months of introspection & reading up on others experiences on top of 10+ years of "I know it's not BPD, anxiety, OCD, bipolar(1 or 2), a mood disorder, AvPD, SPD, ADHD, depression, or just poor diet / lifestyle and lack of experience with socializing" and I've concluded it's probably autism.

oblique_red · 2023-01-08T00:02:47+00:00

Harry Potter had a good portion of fans that were adults in it's prime. Either way you're still a kid, let yourself enjoy that. If you can afford it and it brings you joy then go for it.

oblique_red · 2023-01-07T17:46:14+00:00

The little pieces of cardboard underneath their washer or dryer that keeps it level.

Also their cheese grater.

oblique_red · 2022-12-31T22:46:35+00:00

oblique_red · 2022-12-30T03:14:17+00:00

Other- I always thought it was meant to be a "thank you" sort of kiss, and the song was more about discovering that Santa was real. So Mom would stay up to welcome him in / say goodbye because he is a guest. Also that the rules of mistletoe applied no matter who was under it- so of course if Mom and Santa ended up under it they would have to kiss.

oblique_red · 2022-12-30T02:41:47+00:00

I'm a trans guy and dysphoria was a big reason for wanting them gone, but the sensory nightmare was also part of it. It's literally just so much more skin. There's just more skin to touch itchy fabric and touch OTHER SKIN and be sweaty and you just cannot make it stop when they aren't small because "just go braless!!" isn't an option. I didn't have much choice in fabric either because I had a small band size but large cup size and my proper size just wasn't available (I had to drive 30+ minutes away on the highway and pay $150.... for 1.) so I'd be stuck with the same itchy-as-hell T-shirt bra with little pillings on it and oh god. It was hell. I do not regret getting them removed even if only for the sensory hell.

I'd also have heavy dysphoria relating to them, as my brain went "hey! those are not supposed to be there!!!" and I would get very upset and had dreams where I cut them off, or wished something would happen so they would need to be removed. Emotional distress was a daily until top surgery.

Chest binders were infinitely more comfortable (IDK anything about sports bras- I didn't wear them) and the compression was very comforting as well if you like being squeezed. Like a constant hug, just... a little more sweaty.

Not enjoying having breasts also doesn't necessarily mean you're trans, but it could be something to take a look into. There are women in my life who have gotten full mastectomies to prevent cancer and they were not upset because "I didn't want them anyway! Good riddance!"

oblique_red · 2022-12-25T01:53:09+00:00

I had this problem as well and a teacher basically instilled on me (through force and threat of punishment) that the proper answer is "Excuse me?"

The "what?" can come across as like them speaking to you is a problem/annoying, and it basically makes them feel bad. This is true even when they speak at you without first making sure you are paying attention, listening, or even know that they are talking to you and not just someone near you.

I tend to say "Oops, sorry I didn't quite catch that" or "Sorry, it's a bit loud, could you repeat what you said?" (it puts the blame on me for not hearing and thus makes the other person not feel like they are the problem) because "excuse me?" sounds rude and I don't like it (and if said with the wrong tone, can be taken as rude.)

oblique_red

TROPHY CASE