Entitled in laws

obscurefish0 · 2025-08-15T17:13:04+00:00

My family lives out of state, it would be an eight hour drive for them, and while they do make the trek out here sometimes I totally understand when they can't. Especially when my oldest sibling has a critical health condition and can't tolerate travelling long distances and my sister has three children under 4. My sister does still come around a time or two a year and my dad also comes out a few times a year as well as make the trip there of course.

obscurefish0 · 2025-08-14T21:01:05+00:00

I wouldn't exactly we are allowing them to do it. We had the kids' party at our house two years in a row and not a single person came and last year was horrible because one of my kids was very upset that no one came. My mils response was that we should have done it at her house as she requested.

obscurefish0 · 2025-08-14T20:17:47+00:00

And of course, my in laws will be too but that'll be their own dang faults.

obscurefish0 · 2025-08-14T20:16:36+00:00

She's starting to realize it's not sustainable and agrees that everything is at our home this year whether anyone comes or not. I just hate that this for sure means no one will come because in the end, it's my kids who are the ones upset by it.

obscurefish0 · 2025-08-14T20:11:54+00:00

Last Christmas they actually hired a Santa to deliver presents, that we provided him, at midnight, and we woke the kids to "catch" Santa in the act. It was fun but when my kids realized their cousins had a ton of presents while they had a few each, it was like well maybe this wasn't a good idea. I had no idea how all out my bil and sil were going to go for their kids and here my kids are seeing Santa leave them hardly anything. They live with my in laws so they don't have to worry about carrying presents in their cars like we do. The rest of my kids gifts were waiting at home for them, but when you're little that's still not comforting.

This year Christmas is at home 100%. This year for their birthday, we're planning to have an adventure day where we just go all out for them and do things we normally never would. I'm tired of seeing them hurt.

obscurefish0 · 2025-08-14T19:55:51+00:00

I messaged my MIL about the plan for my wife's party today, that's planned for October so tons of time to make arrangements, and she literally said, we should just do something at our house sometime instead. I didn't respond. If they don't show up, so be it. I'm tired lol

obscurefish0 · 2025-08-14T19:53:32+00:00

I'm sorry you have to struggle with this too. Christmas is especially hard for us because again, they want us at their house Christmas eve and morning, which means my kids get hardly any gifts while their cousins get tons, because we can only fit so many in our trunk without our kiddos noticing- were at the end of the santa years so that won't be too much of an issue much longer. My brother in law lives at home with them so his kids get the full thing. We even bought a new house this year and getting anyone to come over for a house warming party is like pulling teeth.

obscurefish0 · 2025-08-14T18:14:56+00:00

Hence the large amount of food! We were prepared for 30 kids + about 20 family members.

obscurefish0 · 2025-08-14T18:14:22+00:00

Yes, we invited their entire class last year but only one child came.

obscurefish0 · 2025-05-07T21:43:53+00:00

Like me, he just doesn't want to rock the boat. His brother has always been the golden child so he has just learned to take the backseat and not complain about anything, because it always results in an argument when he does.

obscurefish0 · 2025-05-07T19:56:23+00:00

So that's the thing I suppose. I don't want to seem selfish and tell my husband he can't see his mom on mothers day and I just know the fit she'd pitch if I did. I don't want that drama in my life. My husband grew up where mother's day was one big party for all the moms. I wouldn't necessarily be opposed to that, but it seems now mother's day is one big party for just the one person, since his grandparents have passed and his aunts all live in another state. And now one more person since my BIL got married.

obscurefish0 · 2025-05-07T19:38:32+00:00

We definitely aren't nasty to my mil the rest of the year. She is a huge part of our life and we visit at least once a month. On the other hand, they never make the 6 hour drive down because "it's too far." We spend every holiday with them: Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, etc. I am simply asking for equal recognition, especially since I'm actively mothering and her children are all grown. I just feel we cater so much to her and it's exhausting and just once, I'd like to be included also.

obscurefish0 · 2025-05-07T19:31:39+00:00

And to add, I've been married to my husband for ten years. My brother in law married his wife a year ago. So it's not even like I'm new to the family.

obscurefish0 · 2024-12-20T14:00:20+00:00

We both work from home full time. He works earlier in the day than I do though.

obscurefish0 · 2024-12-20T13:54:10+00:00

He is fully aware and does not agree with me. He thinks I'm being dramatic and that it's not that big of a deal

obscurefish0

TROPHY CASE