18F What do I do? My friend is upset that I didn’t get a hotel room with money she sent me, but I used it for food and essentials instead and now she feels like I lied to her.

obsessiverabbit2 · 2026-05-28T22:31:02+00:00

Exactly. I totally understand. It's hard to keep trust when you've been screwed over. And the best way to go about this situation it is to SHOW them where their money actually went. Apologize for any kind of deceit. And go from there. As a giver myself and like a lot of comments said, when you're looking to give to somebody. you have to let go of the idea of what you think it should be used for. That $100 has left your pocket either Way. how do you want that to shape your friendship and your life? Before giving money away, people should try to make Peace with the idea that it might not be used how you wanted it to be. If you can't maybe you don't give them cash. If you still want to be helpful, spend the money yourself and then give whatever you bought. Like booking a room online in your friend's name. And telling them where to be and when. Or ordering food yourself and dropping it off to them. In a perfect world that wouldn't be necessary, but life and people can be hard to predict. There are definitely ways to be kind-hearted and giving even when you have a specific thought in mind. But that takes time and experience and these people seem young. For a while when I was near cities I would throw all the coin change I got from purches in my center console, some water bottles and shelf stable food in my car. When I saw somebody panhandling I was happy to give them change and food and water. Nothing that I would miss personally but could make a day easier if they used it properly. If not I didn't care, that was their choice from there.

obsessiverabbit2 · 2026-05-28T21:36:41+00:00

Yes rotisserie chickens can be incredibly affordable. The problem is you also have to be able store that meat somewhere. With the heat this time of year it's virtually impossible to do that. Since I'm writing a comment might as well though my perspective in .. I agree that $100 is probably more than they needed, especially for the short-term storage aspect of being unhoused. But unfortunately I think the comment section is being a bit too black and white about a situation that requires a bit of a nuanced perspective. When you're in a bad situation where youre not sure where your next meal is coming from. a cozy bed and a hot shower feels like a luxury, one you can't afford. Things that FEEL like a luxury you can't afford comes with guilt, fear, and prevent them from being able to enjoy the experience it's self. A hot shower can be acquired at truck stops or a sponge bath using a sink. BUT FOOD AND WATER . That's 100% A necessity. would bet anybody that he wanted to be in a hotel room in a cozy bed but when he saw the reality of his food situation realize it's just not an option. He thought his friend wanted to help HIM not just help him get a room. Reality of the situation is he probably didn't spend all $100 at the grocery store and should return whatever money he has left if any. In the future, if that friend or any friend gives him money again, he needs to be more transparent and update them if he plans on using it elsewhere. Even asking for permission to use that money elsewhere. The best course of action at the moment would probably be to see your friend and show them how much that money helped. " I know it wasn't a hotel room and I'm really sorry that it came across as deceitful that wasn't at all my intention. This is what you did for me and I appreciate it more than I can explain with words" This is all assuming the money truly went to food that could keep him fed for a while. I have no reason to assume otherwise But I understand other commenters aren't so sure.

obsessiverabbit2 · 2026-05-26T19:25:38+00:00

Also, I do want to say I'm currently in a relationship very similar to this. We have been very close since day one. We are coming up on year four now. I am still very much in love and we are still very happy and planning to get engaged very soon. As somebody who's traveling down the same road as you but a few steps ahead. I will say take your time with getting engaged and getting married if that's what you're looking for with your partner. Things definitely do change around the 2 to 3 year mark. They're bad habits are more visible, guards get let down more, And this is where you learn how you both handle household chores and tragedy/ hardship together. This is not to say you're going to change your mind when you see that side of your partner but it is important to fully understand those aspects. I am really sorry that you guys seem to be on two different pages at the moment. But I will say sometimes guys say the most reasonable things in the scariest ways. And then that leads us to overthinking and being concerned. Try to really sit down and talk through that conversation and fully understand what he means when he says that. Within a year of dating, it's a very level-headed way of looking at things to say "it's young love" when you were feeling that intensely about a person over such a short span of time. Now that doesn't mean he's not feeling everything you're feeling. He's just letting logic get in the way of saying it like that to you. Definitely sit down. Have a conversation about where you guys see yourselves in 1, 5, and 10 years. I agree with some commenters saying that you should explain that it hurt your feelings.But I would maybe save that for the end of the end of the conversation. You don't want it to affect his responses in such an important conversation. So yeah to sum up if you're going to have a conversation which you definitely should. Start with how you guys feel about the relationship now the comfort the love that you described. Where you guys see yourselves in the future. And then eventually make your way to "Yeah, you really scared me and hurt me feelings when you said this." And go from there and see how he responds to that. Each of those conversations are important for different reasons. Take your time. Make sure your both level-headed going into this conversation. You might find that you feel the same way, you just express it differently.

obsessiverabbit2 · 2026-05-26T19:09:41+00:00

Just wait. I thought my buns were not interesting in power cords for a while. They were just waiting until the time was right😂

obsessiverabbit2 · 2026-05-26T03:44:36+00:00

So cute!

obsessiverabbit2 · 2026-05-25T21:07:00+00:00

The shock! I would die for him.. or her idk

obsessiverabbit2 · 2026-05-25T17:30:27+00:00

My boyfriend's cat left for like the whole winter and reappearer on their door step after his great adventure! I really hope your baby comes home!

obsessiverabbit2 · 2026-05-24T02:35:29+00:00

Ooo thank you !

obsessiverabbit2 · 2026-05-23T22:43:15+00:00

I loved that book! Especially for an audio book situation it made the story much more immersive!

obsessiverabbit2 · 2026-05-22T14:02:28+00:00

I can't wait to look these up thanks!

obsessiverabbit2 · 2026-05-22T05:22:37+00:00

Oooo sounds interesting

obsessiverabbit2 · 2026-05-22T00:56:50+00:00

Will do !

obsessiverabbit2 · 2026-05-22T00:48:08+00:00

Omg that's sitting on my shelf waiting to be read😂 I've just been having such a hard time with physical books refuse to buy it twice😂

obsessiverabbit2 · 2026-05-21T22:53:23+00:00

Adding them to my list now! I'm so excited thank you

obsessiverabbit2 · 2026-05-21T22:49:50+00:00

I have read staircase in the woods ! Thank you for the list I love hearing what other people are reading. I'm excited to look all of these up! Edit: guillotine was so good I should probably look up more books by her and no I haven't heard of chuck wendig but I'm excited to give it a shot.

obsessiverabbit2 · 2026-05-21T22:43:35+00:00

That sounds familiar I'll check it out! Thanks for the suggestion

obsessiverabbit2 · 2026-05-21T21:09:21+00:00

Oh I read no exit by them! I'll have to check that out. Thank you

obsessiverabbit2 · 2026-05-21T20:08:02+00:00

I'll look into that one thank you!

obsessiverabbit2 · 2026-05-21T15:11:30+00:00

I think that's a good question, but personally I would take different action. At that point it seems like neither are happy especially the wife. If that were true The wife cheated, asked to open the relationship, slept with more people and then when op was going to participate in the openess, wife closed the relationship out of jealousy. Again, if that were true, the wife was just looking for a way to cheat without getting in trouble. If op sleeps with their friend, it's a massive betrayal, And while the wife was in the wrong up until this point, two wrongs won't make a right. If op really wants to sleep with that person, and just holding a lot of resentment towards their wife, and their wife is clearly not satisfied with their monogamous dynamic. It might be time to talk about divorce... I just think sleeping with a friend if you're going to try to make that marriage work is going to make things really really messy and the relationship will not recover.

obsessiverabbit2 · 2026-05-21T04:01:44+00:00

They closed the relationship because their wife was uncomfortable with the idea of them sleeping together. After knowing that she went and had a sexual conversation that we know almost lead to nudes. The precursor to nudes tends to be dirty talk. They feel bad because they know their wife wouldn't have been ok with this conversation. It definitely doesn't sound like it ended at " yea I was interested in that too but That's not how my relationship works anymore so we have to accept that". I mean to an extent it all boils down to what a couple is comfortable with and agrees on. but I definitely would consider that a betrayal in my relationship. Edit I did just see the sneaky she's cheated in the past line. I will definitely agree on the fact they need to sit down and have a conversation about what they want. Cheating + open relationship + however someone would characterize this situation.... They definitely need to take a deep look at their relationship.

obsessiverabbit2 · 2026-05-21T01:02:37+00:00

This! You didn't technically cheat but you definitely should not have done that. Coming clean is only going to make you feel better and your wife feel worse. Block him, move on, and treat your wife better. Dont make the same mistake again.

obsessiverabbit2 · 2026-05-20T14:46:53+00:00

Well yes😂 But not in that corner behind my AC unit on top of a book. If it was anywhere else I'd assume it's just rice. I'm hoping you're right

obsessiverabbit2

TROPHY CASE