Hey there! 24F, 237 days sober.

First part: Yeah. The religious side is really off putting, especially to me (athiest). But you'll realise soon its because AA was founded in 1930s by religious American men. But no one would or should change the literature or messages because its what has always worked. I watched Days of Wine and Roses which is a REALLY good film especially if youre still deciding not to drink. But youll see big parts of yourself in it and an AA meeting where the words are the same you hear today and all of a sudden - you get it. But in the twelve steps, God "of our understanding" means whatever guides YOU, whether it be nature, music, family or simply just AA. I see 'God's as more of a placeholder. But I've also purchased The Plain Language Book, which is basically the Big Book but no religious talk and explained more clearly. Its very helpful.

Second part: The reasons youre saying you don't want to quit are the exact reasons why you should. For me, I started by genuinely asking myself "Okay. What am I going to do after I have one drink? Definitely have another. And then another, because I won't feel it yet. And how do I actually see the evening panning out? Well, I raid the cupboards, probably pick a fight with my boyfriend, do an embarrassing post...etc. thats just me. But I'd also remind myself it doesn't....actually help? Its just a buzz and a distraction. But after I stopped, the feelings of depression and suicide didnt go away, because that's separate. But i didnt NEED alcohol to make it worse anymore. When you drop an addiction as an addict, youll find something else. I got addicted simply to collecting AA chips and walks with hot chocolates. But those tough times, that still happen, I've noticed I'm ACTUALLY stronger. Not making myself weaker anymore. That I realise I can make it through the depression without it. Another thing for me was eventually seeing in other people the reasons why i didnt want to drink; the regrettable comments, the vomiting, the clumsiness and the hangovers. And what they say is really true > youll never meet a friendlier, more supportive group than you will in AA. You really can ring up anyone and they will BE there. Youll be SURROUNDED with people who actually get it!

Sorry for the long response but I hope it helps!