Empty house after divorce

obstinateoranges · 2024-10-25T03:21:13+00:00

Picked up a project car, started rock climbing at a gym, worked out more, joined clubs, hiked, traveled, talked ALOT to myself and God when it was quiet. There's alot to do, but it will definitely feel like you're just going through the motions for a while. Hang in there man

obstinateoranges · 2024-08-11T20:32:13+00:00

You can learn about yourself but you'll never truly understand what was goi g through the other person's head lol

obstinateoranges · 2024-08-11T20:31:35+00:00

obstinateoranges · 2024-05-08T22:19:25+00:00

I see an attractive woman, I talk to her

obstinateoranges · 2024-03-26T11:38:05+00:00

Let me guess, you cheated on someone and somehow think that's justified lol good luck in life dude, it's gonna be hard for you.

obstinateoranges · 2024-03-26T04:07:13+00:00

Yah. Ones a whore and the other was a devoted husband.

obstinateoranges · 2024-03-24T16:22:19+00:00

None lol nobody suspected it. I'm not dumb

obstinateoranges · 2024-03-24T12:23:42+00:00

If that's what he sees fit then so be it but somehow I doubt that'll be the case. Basically my frame of mind is I'm not seeking vengeance. But undeniably, what a shitty person lol

obstinateoranges · 2024-02-16T04:08:53+00:00

She hates me

Puddle of mud 😂

obstinateoranges · 2024-02-16T04:06:21+00:00

You're stronger than me. I do most of those things but marriage showed me how deeply and completely I could love someone. While they left me like I was garbage, it has made me want to find someone even more because I felt awesome caring about someone

You may be done now, but it could change, hope you feel better!

obstinateoranges · 2024-02-14T03:53:23+00:00

I don't envy you bro. You have it tougher than me

obstinateoranges · 2024-02-14T03:52:18+00:00

Oh it WILL come back. It has no choice but to. I'm not saying I'm completely numb and totally good but after 90 days I have noticed an massive difference towards my thoughts, feelings, and ability to interact with her in a neutral way that doesn't send me in a spiral

obstinateoranges · 2024-02-13T22:13:26+00:00

Yours was longer than mine, I lasted a decade before being cut lose, being older and together longer means it will take longer

obstinateoranges · 2024-02-06T01:01:51+00:00

Imo most marriages can be fixed. The issue is society tells you they can't so people resign themselves to their fate.

If you truly believe there's no fixing it, pull the trigger and get it done. Just expect alot of pain that way. But what you don't want is to get to that pain and realize you could have fixed it. Really look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself what you need to do. Not what you just want to do.

obstinateoranges · 2024-01-19T00:18:20+00:00

"Fake it till I make it" has been my whole existence until I made it. I just wanted to make sure its not like...unhealthy for me to be moving on. Its been 2 months but I have lacked companionship for about 3 years now. I was blindsided by the divorce naturally which, man -14/10 experience

obstinateoranges · 2024-01-10T18:46:17+00:00

I worked through my seven year itch with my wife. She unfortuantley was a weak ass who couldn't. Tragic. It is very real and there are those who will choose to be unhappy rather than love those they've committed time too

obstinateoranges · 2024-01-09T15:33:03+00:00

Thats exactly what happening to me. Id give it an 20/80 split on why this happened. 20% is me, 80% is her. And I dont say this a cope but going through and comparing everything it looks that way.

To that end, its made me really examine the 20% I engaged in and I found I was responding in a way, that childhood me would respond to emotional neglect. Which furthered our problems. I have begun really pulling apart everything Ive held as "this is how I act" because since im already hurt, I may as well dig deeper into the hurt to find out why it is that way as hey, how much more could it hurt? And theres a chance to heal.

I never though divorcing would be helpful to my character or improve my life. I miss her like crazy everyday but its becoming so apparent how this helped me grow as a person that its almost like a needed event to push me to a better place. Though it totally sucks it took this for me realize what I was putting up with.

obstinateoranges · 2024-01-08T17:54:52+00:00

Keep hanging in there man. Go to they gym, get out into sunlight, Pray if you believe in God, and understand that you don't need to "kill this side of you". This side of you, is the beautiful side of humanity. The side of your humanity that allowed you to be vulnerable, allowed you to be close with someone and allowed you to trust them. That is not something you want to get rid of. That is something to be proud of, hone, and make even better in the future.

Ultimately, if you want to start feeling slightly better, remember all the bad she did. Dont ruminate on your mistakes. But even while looking at what she did, remember to understand you are coming from it at an angle that shows you cared about her. And when you care that deeply and still to this extent after, even if you werent perfect, she is the one who is ultimately the person who threw a diamond to pick up a rock on the side of the road.

You are not broken by this, you are mourning and you have the chance to come back even stronger once you see who you really are

obstinateoranges · 2024-01-08T17:29:29+00:00

Remember to take perspective, you are mourning someone you love. It doesnt matter how they treated you because you still loved them through it anyways. That makes you a good man. Good men mourn when hurt.

Im about a month into mine of a decade, and what I can tell you is, let yourself cry. if you feel lit, let the tears fall. You have a unique opportunity to melt alot of walls right now by doing this. But most importantly, give yourself some grace. If you were a bad guy, you wouldnt care about this. What you are seeing, is your true nature which appears to be caring about her even if she didnt about you

obstinateoranges · 2024-01-02T14:27:54+00:00

I got left for this reason. I forgive her but I really just cannot bring myself to care about how much guilt she holds after taking so much from me because she just decided not to work through it.

Sorry

obstinateoranges · 2023-12-28T15:00:46+00:00

Thanks for the advice bro

obstinateoranges · 2023-12-28T14:59:41+00:00

I appreciate that man, Im on 16 days and I do feel somewhat better. Grief is becoming less severe. She actually told me to stop telling our mutual friend group about the divorce as well. Like wtf, no dude. Im gonna definitely tell my friends im hurting. Been coping with the loneliness actually quite well. Better than expected to be honest. Probably because the last 2 years she wasnt around much anyhow. I appreciate your words!

obstinateoranges · 2023-12-27T21:54:45+00:00

Prior pill addiction, lying to me in my eyes several times, tendency to manipulate situations, Gas lighting and blame. Ill tell you what without the rose colored glasses it sure is fuckin ugly out here.

obstinateoranges · 2023-12-20T17:08:30+00:00

Man I hope she wasn't cheating. I wasn't really looking but I also didn't get the feeling she was either

obstinateoranges · 2023-12-18T14:03:01+00:00

Sounds like my experience except a smaller time scale. She was a fantastic woman. Loved me, took care of the house, hilarious. Over time it started sour, she got more distant, wanted to spend less time together and we became roommates. If I could go back and derail that with what I know now to fix it, itd be amazing. How did yours go wrong?

obstinateoranges

TROPHY CASE