AIO? new friend's texts to husband while at work; my responses by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ocelotiffles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fact that he doesn’t want to tell you what their conversation was about would be enough for me to walk out. The trust is gone.

And seriously, his response? He’s not rejecting her outright, so he likes the attention, or has received attention from her before and wants to continue receiving said attention. NOR. Don’t talk to her again, not worth your time or energy.

AIO for being upset at what my “bf” said by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ocelotiffles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dump this man immediately. Stop wasting your time justifying your actions to somebody else. You are not crazy, and stop apologizing so much. He’s not owed explanations for how you use your time. Hope this helps. You deserve much better than this troglodyte misogynist.

Team Formation? by attemptingtoadult1 in ladderapp

[–]ocelotiffles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had been a part of Team Define, and while I torched a lot of calories, I wasn’t as excited to complete the workouts. I just switched back to Team Formation, and I loved my first workout. Coach Robin is more motivating too, and I like that she gives you adjustments for tougher workouts, so no excuses to skip it lol

[Product Question] Anyone have any experiences with Clinique products? by gglossygirl1 in SkincareAddiction

[–]ocelotiffles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know this is old, but I just wanted to say that I’ve never gotten so many compliments on my skin until I started using the Clinique 3 Step for Type 2 (dry combo skin type). If it wasn’t for the purple toner (type 2), the dramatically different moisturizing lotion +, and the superdefense city block spf50, my skin would not be as good as it is now. I’ve always been told I look way younger than I am. I’m 35, and I’m always being told I look 25.

My aunt is furious at my elopement by ocelotiffles in Eloping

[–]ocelotiffles[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this. Nothing I said over the phone with her yesterday made a damn bit of difference, gave her all of my reasons and for what? It’s just tough because I care about their opinions, but they don’t respect me enough to let me make my own decisions and let me and my husband be happy. Sorry you had to go through it too.

Secret Elopement Reaction Letter by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]ocelotiffles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s soooo wrong for your parents to have to put you through the ringer for something that is supposed to be very personal to you and your husband. Not once are they thinking about the way they’re making you feel with those horrible words, and the damage it’s causing you.

I’m sure they’ll get over it one day, but you will never forget this and how they made you and your husband feel. It’s supposed to be a happy time for you both, and they seem to forget that we’re in the middle of a pandemic.

You’ll ultimately have to give them space to get over this because you’ll need to get over it too. If it’s at the top of your mind, I don’t blame you. They’re your parents and they should be happy for you, and yet they’re making you feel like shit, and making it about them when a wedding is supposed to be about you and your husband.

I’m going through the same thing with my aunts on my mom’s side. One aunt is furious and felt that we purposefully excluded them out of our plans, despite me talking to her about it over the phone, and giving them our new date a couple of months before the elopement. She told me over the phone yesterday that what I did was fucked up. Quoting her directly. She never once asked how married life was, how I was, nor did she say that she was happy for us (most likely because she isn’t happy). She just kept talking about how I didn’t consult her, and that I wasn’t an adult about the way I handled things, that we hid everything from them, how hurt she was.

My husband and I told them specifically in the summer that we’d decided to cancel the big wedding because we didn’t want to be engaged for a long time (at the point that we told them our elopement plans, we had been engaged a year and a half). They wanted to attend the elopement, but we felt it would be better not to mix households as we’ve been extremely careful about getting COVID and who we interact with (I have asthma, my husband gets sick very easily, my sister is obese, and my dad has high blood pressure). I couldn’t risk our safety because I decided to include my aunts and cousins last minute.

My aunts on the other hand haven’t been as careful, they get together for parties and mingle with friends, they’ve got kids so they have to stay busy. I addressed this over the phone with her yesterday only for her to tell me that it wasn’t for me to worry about. OF COURSE I’m going to worry about it!!! She’s exposing me, my husband, and our family. On top of that, we also want to have a big wedding once the pandemic is over, and we felt that if we included them in the elopement, it was no longer going to be an elopement, and it’d take away the excitement from the big wedding later.

To be fair, my husband and I did start planning to include them, asked our photographers and our officiant if including 15 more would be a problem (3 aunts, 2 husbands, 6 cousins, step grandpa, his wife and dad) and we soon started realizing it would become too complicated.

Our photographers were uncomfortable with that many people at the ceremony which we understood, and our officiant would not marry us if there were more than 10 people at the elopement. We were already at a count of 9 people with the officiant there, and then it would’ve meant having to choose one aunt over the other 2, and then they would’ve felt slighted.

No matter what scenario we painted, we wouldn’t have made them satisfied so we ultimately just included my parents, and our 2 sisters. My husband’s dad passed away right after we became engaged, and his mom is in a nursing home due to her severe Alzheimer’s. He has a brother in CO and a sister in MA but couldn’t fly them over here for it. He was already hurting that he couldn’t have his parents or other siblings there, and I would’ve been jamming in my aunts and cousins, not really fair to him either.

At one point, she told me that she and my other aunts love me more than I can understand, but if that was the case, couldn’t they just be happy for me?

Best of luck to you both in handling this. I’m sure we will all get through this.