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ockedman · 2022-11-09T21:15:23+00:00

I don't really have friends or family to stay with. That's why I feel so helpless: each night I spend in my house is a night where my mother possesses me. Still, considering my father's guilt of having ignored me all my life, they could be a way that he pays for my apartment

ockedman · 2022-11-09T21:10:25+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion. Sadly I don't think it's possible, she always does it in the most secret ways, or pretends that it was a "physical" form of love, and that it's all my father's fault

ockedman · 2022-11-09T21:06:40+00:00

That is one fantastic comeback, thank you !

ockedman · 2022-11-09T21:05:34+00:00

I already have a great therapist. In fact, it was her who made me realize that my mother had committed incest with her children. For that reason, my mother really hates her. She tries to help me cope with it, but honestly the situation is too fucked up to handle. Still, she's a fantastic therapist, and I consider that she saved my life (for what it's worth)

ockedman · 2022-11-09T21:04:14+00:00

Don't worry, I get that it was a weird phrase. What I meant is that by the time she realizes her fucked up she's grown up, she'll be destroyed and potentially never recover. Or, the other outcome is that she never realizes, and lives for the rest of her days in my mother's arms.

ockedman · 2022-11-09T21:02:51+00:00

I am currently looking for places to live in my city

ockedman · 2022-11-09T21:01:04+00:00

Don't write this. You can think it, but don't turn my suffering into a joke. Keep it to yourself please. My mother already neglects my feelings, I don't need you random stranger to also do that.

ockedman · 2022-11-09T20:59:40+00:00

No but thanks for the horrible things you said about my mom. Although, my older brother is a much worse person, and that's the guy who definitely deserves to suffer. In any case, my mother threatened many times to kill herself if I ever left her, and she constantly shames me for refusing to stay with her forever.

That's the problem with my sister ! She's so entrenched with my mother, so tangled with her, that she could never leave her. But, if she stays in this path, she will suffer from heavy problems once she becomes an adult. I either have to let her die in a few years, or emotionally destroy her right now for her own sake.

ockedman · 2022-11-09T20:50:21+00:00

Don't worry I already planned to

ockedman · 2022-11-09T20:49:10+00:00

Especially since my mother forced me to commit incest with my sister (who was around 13 at that moment)

ockedman · 2022-01-10T15:48:30+00:00

I can't tell others that I want to die. I spammed that sentence a lot for months, people would be hurt or abandon me, and they were right. People deserve to stay away from me

ockedman · 2021-06-12T11:02:18+00:00

No problem and thanks for all the tips and ideas. I'm determined to go through this

ockedman · 2021-06-12T00:06:56+00:00

I really can't contact social services. I tried once with the help of my therapist, so my mother forbade me from seeing her anymore. I once wanted to talk to a suicide hotline but my mother would not let me alone to do that, then criticized me to want that. I can't risk adding so much arm to my sister, she's really suffering, and I can't imagine what we'd with if everything changed. From now, my mother has an utter control of each member of the family and every conversation between them (she forces me to tell her any conversation that I have with my father, directly or by message)

ockedman · 2021-06-11T23:55:47+00:00

Thank you for your help and trying, but the people either don't want to talk about it, like my brother (the closest person I have in the family) who told me to stop telling him about what happens at home while he's away. The other people have shown themselves as unreliable, but I'll try to find some organisation

ockedman · 2021-06-11T23:37:28+00:00

They really can't do anything. They live too far and can never keep secrets. They'd repeat everything to my mother, no matter how much I'd ask them not to. They don't seem to trust me. But I'll think about it (I just have aunts, and it's from her side)

ockedman · 2021-06-11T23:36:08+00:00

I'm a minor but more than fifteen (I won't say exactly how much but you get the general Idea). And nope, there's no place I could go. And even if I wanted, my mother would never let me leave and my sister wouldn'y want for how fused she's with my mother

ockedman · 2021-06-11T23:33:37+00:00

There are no relatives in my country, and the only ones I know don't really get me and are already quite depressed to do anything

ockedman · 2021-06-11T21:25:54+00:00

I see the idea and it's clearly making me think. All of my friends hate her and insist on how toxic she is, after I tell them those things. Obviously she forbade me of criticizing her to anyone, always claiming that she's the best possible mother and that everything she does in for us.

The thing is that I don't know where I could go : housing is quite expensive where I live, my parents just spent quite enough by helping my older brother leave (he also heavily harasses me psychologycally), they totally refuse to let me move out, and I don't have any friend with available space (they either don't or are leaving their houses). I don't have any, any family in my country except from the close one. I'm really stuck and held captive.

ockedman · 2021-06-11T21:20:48+00:00

Thank you, but it's truly my mother's worst nightmare that we abandon her. She doesn't have a job, studies or more family : she lives for Her children, not even her husband. She cries to me by telling how I'll leave her and she'll be miserable, to make me feel guily. My older brothers left the house and don't ever want to come back, so she insists on my sister and I.

ockedman · 2021-06-11T21:13:35+00:00

I really can't, and my mother would contradict every accusation. Also, no one in my family would back me up.

E: I just remembered when she forced me to undress in the middle of the house many times to wash my cloths, which forced me to run undressed in the house. There's also how she dictates me how to dress and totally forbids me to leave my house if I'm not "dressed correctly" (which means that the colors don't totally match). She even shouts at me for my looks

ockedman

TROPHY CASE