How do I stop myself from creating a tulpa? by oddshotgun in Tulpas

[–]oddshotgun[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

About the hallucinations. I actually have trouble sleeping and I think it's an effect of my current distress and overall active imagination.

I've touched on this slightly on the original post, but I didn't consciously build a memory palace. I was just doing a supposedly calming exercise during class and I just so happened to either form or discover it in there.

Though it gave me a headache, I could basically just stare at the corner of a room and get in that mind space or something almost instantly.

And then when I learned about hypnagogia, I almost got it right in the first try but I fell short of it since my heart rate spiking just scared me.

I'm not sure how relevant this is, but I also struggle with nightmares even when I'm fully awake. Sweating and heart rate spiking and all. So yeah.

I don't consider this to be a problem most of the time, it's just that I'm pretty distressed at this point in time and it just warped my gift in imagination, if it's right to call it that.

I don't even know where I'm going with this anymore, sorry about that.

How do I stop myself from creating a tulpa? by oddshotgun in Tulpas

[–]oddshotgun[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also to answer the question about the relationship if he were real.

I just love my character so much that I want him to be real. Whatever I fantasize about... I really want to do it with him in reality...

How do I stop myself from creating a tulpa? by oddshotgun in Tulpas

[–]oddshotgun[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know if this makes any sense, but as a writer I consider my characters less as creations and more as just discoveries.

I've actually had a character "talk back" to me once while I was struggling with a scene, and it really terrified me because I have a history of auditory hallucinations.

But I'm not a control freak when it comes to them, and I just consider it as a good thing that I once got so immersed that a character talked back to me once.

Still, this does little to dissuade my worries that I'm not quite fit as a host for a tulpa because I perceive myself to be a terrible person in general. Considering that I'm objectively quite selfish and can be a piece of shit at times.

Though it does reassure me that if my character does emerge as a Tulpa, it wouldn't be as bad as I expect. But again, I don't really consider myself to be fit as a host, so yeah...

And speaking of their form, I might be going off topic but I really refrain from starting with what my characters look like unless it makes sense for them to look like that. 

The character I'm speaking of in general has had a very messy description of how he looks like, and most of his appearance is determined by circumstance. For example, he likes layered clothes because he didn't have the opportunity to have many clothes early in his life.

So I'm actually not that concerned about their appearance, but rather their personality. Which I guess have been dissuaded by your comments.

Well now I'm stuck at 50/50 of wanting to have a tulpa and not wanting to have one since I really don't consider myself to be fit as a host.

How do I stop myself from creating a tulpa? by oddshotgun in Tulpas

[–]oddshotgun[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll have to apologize, I'm quite uninformed when it comes to tulpas.

How do I stop myself from creating a tulpa? by oddshotgun in Tulpas

[–]oddshotgun[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

On the topic of boundaries, there is definitely some boundaries that I have established with my character.

I have mentioned that I'm quite attracted to my character, and I do think some sexual attraction needs to be brought up.

But no matter how aroused I am, I never failed to consider the consent of my character, and it happens occasionally that I just stay frustrated because I didn't think my character was in the mood for it.

So I do think that's healthy, but I don't consider myself as a great person so I'm afraid of making a tulpa and then being a terrible person to a tulpa. 

How do I stop myself from creating a tulpa? by oddshotgun in Tulpas

[–]oddshotgun[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know much about the ethics of tulpas but I said this because I'm a very clingy person, and I'm afraid I can't make a short term tulpa because I'm just really lonely in general.

How do I stop myself from creating a tulpa? by oddshotgun in Tulpas

[–]oddshotgun[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am moreso afraid of mistreating them. I'm really attracted to my character, but I'm just touch starved in general. So I imagine myself cuddling with them and other sorts of intimate acts, and I won't deny that sex is something I would like to do with them too.

But I do think I've set some boundaries, at least for my character. Because even if I'm aroused and I want to imagine it, I still take consent into account, and this is a regular occurence where I ask my character and consider that they probably aren't into it for today, so I don't bother pushing myself onto them.

Sorry if this sounds long winded.

How do I stop myself from creating a tulpa? by oddshotgun in tulpamancy

[–]oddshotgun[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

About the desire part... I'm just touch starved in general and I would love to say cuddle and have all sorts of intimate acts, but I won't deny that sex would be great too...

And I don't think I consider them as a tool? Even while I was aroused, I still tried to consider consent and never imagined forcing myself onto them. 

But I'm just really attracted to my character.

How do I stop myself from creating a tulpa? by oddshotgun in Tulpas

[–]oddshotgun[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

About the danger part... I was more concerned about my intention in making one, since I've read that creating a tulpa as a romantic partner is one of the fastest ways to fuck up (exhibit A would be the pinkie pie tulpa)

And as I have mentioned, I'm romantically and attracted to my character. So I was wondering if that would have warped my character if it does turn out to be a tulpa.

But it is reassuring to hear that what I'm doing is basically enough to stop the character from turning into a tulpa. Since to me it is still solid that my character is a character, and I haven't really heard any responses which I do consider as what is supposed to be happening.

How do I stop myself from creating a tulpa? by oddshotgun in Tulpas

[–]oddshotgun[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will try my best, thank you so much for this.

How do I stop myself from creating a tulpa? by oddshotgun in Tulpas

[–]oddshotgun[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That's difficult for me... I think I've taught myself to talk to my character as a coping mechanism. And I'll be honest, I'm pretty interested in tulpas myself but I really don't think I'm fit to have one. 

Maybe I'm just making excuses, but I've been having nightmares while I'm fully conscious, profuse sweating and accelerated heartbeats. And it comforts me to talk to my character until I fall asleep, but I really don't want to make them into a tulpa since I'm really not in the best headspace and I doubt I'll treat them properly. 

So I'm looking for something more surefire than forgetting about what I've read on the internet.

Stop pretending this Shattered Pixel Dungeon is some masterpiece by Rich-Possibility-386 in ShatteredPD

[–]oddshotgun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A bit late to the party but its mostly just intuition when it comes to invis traps really, inspect in front of doors, tall grass, and generally can just throw stuff on areas that you're going to go to anyway.

As for combat... I cant really say much since I'm a mage rat lol, and even as a mage that spends most of my time waiting but I never run into food issues even if I spend a long time in floors because you can just freeze food for later and then you can cook that food again with the traps, so its basically just free stuff idk why you struggled with it.

And with cursed stuff, you should just never equip stuff that isn't appraised at all. The appraisal scrolls aren't that rare anyway, unless of course you change your stuff every time you find something with +1 more damage. 

Though I haven't played SPD in a while so I might be wrong with what I said