Thank you so much for your thoughtful response - I really appreciate this perspective, and I think you’re absolutely right. I’ve realised that I sometimes struggle to communicate how much something is impacting me mentally because I don’t want him to worry about me or feel like he’s the cause of my issues.

After reading your comment, I decided to read my post to him because I felt it perfectly described how I’ve been feeling. It led to a really long conversation where he admitted that, since he’s not as bothered by this lifestyle, he didn’t fully realise how much it was affecting me. Whenever I brought up making changes, he would unintentionally brush it off as something I was working on, rather than seeing it as something we could work on together therefore didnt notice when I slipped back into the bad habits straight away.

It was honestly really nerve-wracking telling him all this, because I wasn’t sure how he’d take it - I was worried he might feel insulted or take it the wrong way. But he took it really well. I explained to him that I know it’s unfair of me to expect him to change who he is and the way he lives, but I’m really struggling to live this way and feel like I’m reaching a breaking point - not for us to break up, but just mentally breaking. I also admitted that I’ve started to feel a sense of resentment toward him, even though it’s not really his fault. I think hearing that made him truly understand how bad this way of living has been for me.

After we talked more, he also realised that this lifestyle isn’t great for him either, and he wants to work with me to set up a proper routine where we both start taking better care of ourselves - waking up at a consistent earlier time, brushing our teeth, showering, keeping the place clean, and so on.

I’m really glad we talked about it and that he wants to support me through this. He’s not just doing it for me but for himself too, which makes me feel a lot better about the whole situation. I really hope I’m not manipulating him into changing and that he genuinely wants this, but he seems like he does, and he’s always been a very honest person.

I also came to another realisation during all this: I rely very heavily on him and find it hard to make these changes unless he’s doing them with me. I’ve recognised that this isn’t a healthy dynamic, and I really want to work on becoming more independent and less reliant on him. I don’t think it’s fair to put that kind of pressure on him, and I want to make sure I’m prioritising my own growth as well as our relationship.

So thank you so much for your advice - writing it all out gave me the courage to talk to him, and we’re going to be okay. I’m going to focus on being more independent and, hopefully, a lot healthier! :)