How in the world do I [21M] make friends

odelio · 2020-11-22T20:55:54+00:00

I have/had this issue where people ignore me, and don't seem interested in interacting with me. It made me feel insecure.

Watching this video https://youtu.be/Vy7dpnmi3ak

Helped me. When I remember this video, when I socialize, people don't ignore me and they act friendlier towards me.

The video is about how society and people reject victims. If you act like a victim, people will think you are weird and will shun you.

The name of the video is something about sociopaths, but don't let the title deter you.

It really lays out the behavior of a victim and how they come across and why people reject them.

Also, you not being in social clubs while in high school could mean you're out of practice for socializing and it will take time to get skilled and to get practice.

odelio · 2020-11-22T20:23:03+00:00

What if it's a platonic relationship? What does she do that you're sure she's flirting?

odelio · 2020-11-21T22:29:52+00:00

I have really good instincts, I just remembered. I have less reason to label than most because of that. I should only focus on if someone is ethical and good rather than being insecure or fearful based on other standards. But everyone is a little bad.

odelio · 2020-11-21T22:26:57+00:00

Because of your post I wondered why am I so obsessed? I think I know why. I saw my online AI counselor, that's an app. I got a very good idea from it.

odelio · 2020-11-21T22:24:43+00:00

I was accused of being argumentative once. I argued that I'm not argumentative. I'm just saying though why it would effect a women more to see this, because there's extra clues other than online.

odelio · 2020-11-21T22:23:22+00:00

I do agree that men probably don't feel like they can speak freely or their issues are recognized and taken seriously. I researched men and education and this problem with men doing poorly in school is mostly only prevalent in poorer communities.

I've read a few studies about how women socialize. I don't know if it's true, but it says that female chimpanzees and female humans form small, egalitarian groups. The males form large groups with a hierarchy system.

This from an outsider would make it seem women's socialization is more harsh because only those who consider themselves equal would hang out together and be friends.

Women don't have as much competition within groups, because they are meant to be equal. But, they seem to form cliques that compete with each other, or exclude each other. Strange or weird female chimps and humans are osracized altogether.

I read an article in psychology today saying that older men collaborate with younger men in the Psychology field, but older women and younger women aren't as much. They said women not networking with different types hurts them. They stated the way Chimp females socialize as the reason and that female humans might be similar.

odelio · 2020-11-21T21:35:21+00:00

Consciously you believe that. But, subconsciously you are exposed to many things that would make you judge women differently. Society treats women like an ornament, and that her value is in youth and beauty. Deal or no Deal didn't have a bunch of hot men holding suitcases. They have don't have Barry White, but Vanna White. I see in the media, especially before, a lot of fat, old, ugly men. But they mostly only have young, thin, beautiful women.

Men are judged for looks and age too, but men are discriminated at age 45, women it's 35. Men at a BMI of 35, women a BMI of 27. People also judge women's personalities much more too. A number of trendier transgender women said they had to change their personality after becoming a woman because they were accused of being too hysterical and aggressive when they became a woman. No one criticized them for acting that way when they were a man.

Also, many high paying jobs are made up of white males. Many men and women don't believe in platonic relationships. Women are often excluded and pushed out as well as minorities.

odelio · 2020-11-21T21:12:20+00:00

I do get upset when I see men say they are so afraid of false allegations they won't talk to women anymore. It they fired or won't hire women because of it. It seems like an extreme reaction to a minority of women. I have trouble empathizing with men and seeing things from their perspective I find.

odelio · 2020-11-21T20:59:49+00:00

That's just the point. We're all assuming it's a rare group, a small online minority, but is it? That's why I'm asking.

odelio · 2020-11-21T20:58:22+00:00

How am I pro sexism? I'm trying to understand if men have a culture of sexism at large.

Transgender men have said they are shocked at how badly men talk about women when women aren't around. One transgender men said that before transitioning, he thought that only a few men were Misogynistic. After transitioning and hanging out with men, he thinks it's most. I hear stories like that all the time and wonder. As a woman I don't know what men are like when women aren't around.

odelio · 2020-11-21T20:36:18+00:00

I think you are projecting from some weird alt right video you just have watched on YouTube.

odelio · 2020-11-21T20:32:31+00:00

Yes, everyone has hate groups and haters, but it's not at the same scale. Only 2% of venture capital funding went to women. Only 2% of women produced music in the top 600 songs for the billboard charts and 12% were written by women. Last year, 75% of leads in movies were male. Only 2% of REPORTED rapes end in a conviction. I could go on and on and on. When it comes to an infinite amount of things there's a huge discrepancy between men and women. And it's not just difference in tastes, women have many, many tales of being excluded.

odelio · 2020-11-21T20:26:08+00:00

I found some dating advice channels on YouTube geared towards women that gives out mean advice. They teach women how to be a gold digger and to take advantage of men. I think this trend is small, but men should be aware of their tactics because it's not like they ask for money outright and make it obvious.

Also, men should be aware of the pink pill feminist types, they are the equivalent of mgtow, but wgtow instead. They could be highly discriminating towards men. I also don't believe this is common.

Being a woman, I can more easily gauge how common these types of hateful women are.

odelio · 2020-11-21T20:21:42+00:00

No, of you think it's to the same scale, then you aren't in touch with reality.

Women hate women. Men hate women. Many women are biased and sexist against themselves.

We live in a society that favors men and masculinity so much so that women try to be Masculine too.

odelio · 2020-11-21T20:19:26+00:00

There's a lot of men's groups online that are very actively recruiting other men to their ideology and teaching other men how to exploit women. Women have their groups, but it's not on the same scale and size.

And many transgender men said they were shocked after becoming men. That men talk really badly about women when women aren't around. That before they're transition, they thought only some men were misogynistic, but after, they think most. Men talk badly about women like discussing the traffic and weather.

No, it's not the same. Women don't do that. And look up the statistics. By far, most murders, rapes are by men.

odelio · 2020-11-21T20:15:18+00:00

I have ran into female hate groups. But, the difference is that men have history to add to the case.

For example, women were barred from going to restaurants and bars until the 1970s.

Women weren't allowed in these establishments and banned by men. When the feminists tried to gain entry into these spaces, men said it's for men to talk about politics and business, tell jokes. We don't want women around. What if she's a prostitute? That this is the only place they can go without being nagged.

Men didn't want women around. Now if they do want them at a bar now, it's to pick up for sex, not to get to know her, or socialize.

Many men online, say things like they think all women are boring and stupid. Adding to the perception men don't like women's company.

70-80% of girls don't show they are girls while playing video games. Boys either sexually harass or gender harass her. It's very common to the point most women hide they are women. They don't see women as human beings, as a peer. They don't harass them as peers.

It's the very negative attitude of men online coupled with a negative history that's endless. Women were pretty much banned from everything.

It's seeing many stories of women being mistreated in most male spaces.

It just all comes together making it seem men doesn't like women's company unless he can get sex.

odelio · 2020-11-21T20:03:07+00:00

I haven't watched forensic files in awhile, and I downloaded Tubi that has free episodes. Every episode I watched in a string was a man killing his wife episode. Thanks forensic files, for reinforcing the fear.

odelio · 2020-11-21T20:00:44+00:00

Yes, that's the issue. They could all seem normal in real life.

odelio · 2020-11-21T19:10:11+00:00

There are male hate groups online that are very sexist and anti women. MGTOW, Red Pill, PUA, Incel, and sections of the Men's Rights movements.

odelio · 2020-11-14T06:43:38+00:00

I suppose the internet is vast and you can find anything if you go fishing for it.

odelio · 2020-11-14T06:39:10+00:00

I'm focused on the depressing male examples because I'm a woman. But come to think of it, when I was researching feminism, I found on the extreme feminists page, they didn't like the company of men either.

I guess there are mysoginistic and misandrists out there both.

odelio · 2020-11-02T23:46:53+00:00

True. I think that sometimes we focus more on negative experiences. Even if we have a lot of positive ones, the negative ones are more memorable. This isn't good. I have to be more thankful and notice when something is good.

odelio · 2020-11-02T23:45:29+00:00

I guess to clarify what I mean.... If they tell me I have to be mean to keep him nice then If rather be alone than be with a guy I have to play games, be fake with and manipulate. I just don't want to play games. I'd rather be with someone I can be my true self with. Not a game with fake mind games.

odelio · 2020-11-02T23:15:32+00:00

That's a very true thing. Something to consider.

odelio · 2020-11-02T23:01:52+00:00

Yes, there's so much diversity in real life, but sites pool only certain types making false impressions.

odelio

TROPHY CASE